Please contribute a new acronym or two for this group of FARMERS, and Fair Ones who sew the wild oats of falacy while chasing wild geese, fishing for red herrings and falling off of their rameumptoms by entering the acronyms in the box below. For a review of comments about these two apologetic organizations just click here: FARMS and FAIR
I think Sterling McMurrin was bang on when he wrote:
"The chief theological atrocities are currently committed at the Brigham Young University, where there is a studied irrationalism and a sophistical effort to square the doctrines with ancient and esoteric lore, scriptural and non-scriptural, rather than with the facts of life." Sterling McMurrin, "On Mormon Theology," Dialogue, Vol. 1:2, p.140
Best is: This was published in 1966!!! Long before FARMS appeared on the scene. McMurrin for prophet, seer and revelator. Too bad he wasn't an "active" Mormon and is dead by now. - 06/15/2000 - James
Former BYU Prof Richard Poll stated once (on master-apologet Hugh Nibley):
"[Nibley] has been a security blanket for Latter-day Saints to whom dissonance is intolerable.His contribution to dissonance management is not so much what he has written, but that he has written. After knowing Hugh Nibley for forty years, I am of the opinion that he has been playing games with his readers all along.Relatively few Latter-day Saints read the Nibley books that they give to one another, or the copiously annotated articles that he has contributed to church publications. It is enough for most of us that they are there." in "Brigham Young University: A House of Faith," Gary J. Bergera and Ronald Priddis, SLC, 1985, p. 362 - courtesy of James - 06/15/2000
12/14/2008 - by Blash
Sponge Tom, Temple Square Pants held a press conference in the Conning Tower media room in Salt Lake City today to announce that the BYU think tank known as F.A.R.M.S. has been renamed to reflect closer alignment with its revised mission statement.
Now that President Hinckley is with Jesus (explaining why he denied most of the gospel on The Larry King Show), Sponge Tom made it clear the Church would stop apologizing for its beliefs and start expostulating them instead.
The F.A.R.M.S. organization's new name shall be known on the records of the Church from this day forth as:
Foundation Expostulating Celestial Excellence & Scholarship
Frickin' Anal Retentive Moronic Studies - 12/14/2008 - mad_jesuit
Fraud And Regurgitated Muck Soley - 09/11/2007 - Grateful ExMo
Foundation for the Acquistion of Rich Mormon's Savings - FARMS - 12/22/2006 - Darrick Evenson
Fools Assholes Rejects Morons & Shitheads - FARMS - 12/22/2006 - Darrick Evenson
Fallacious Attempts to Reconcile Mormonism & Science - FARMS - 05/05/2006 - Cora
Fools Are In Residence - 05/05/2006 - Cora
Fake And Ridiculous Mormon Solutions - FARMS - 01/17/2006 - Hermey
Fight Against Real Mormon Scholars - FARMS - 01/17/2006 - Hermey
Facts Are Ignored Repeatedly - FAIR - 01/17/2006 - Hermey
Fight Against Intelligent Research - FAIR - 01/17/2006 - Hermey
Frequent Artless Ridicule Made Simple - 01/28/2006 - John Weldon
Facilitating A Religion Mentally Suspect - 07/10/2005 - DumDumDum
Fat Assed Republicans Masterbating Simultaneously - 07/10/2005 - anon
Fooling Around Reading Mormon Shit - 07/10/2005 - anon
Fiction Articulated in Riddles - FAIR - 1/09/2005 - activejackmormon
Foundation for Apologetic Research and Truth - FART - 09/18/2004 - Dave
Foolishly Allowing Ignorance to Reproduce - FAIR
Flagrantly Advocating Incoherent Ramblings - FAIR
Fastidious Articles Involving the Ridiculous - FAIR
Foolish Apologetics Instead of Reason - FAIR - 08/01/2004 - by Dr. Shades
Faking Actual Intellectuel Research - FAIR - 07/11/2004 - Bob
Facts Aren't Important, Really - FAIR
Four Asinine Idiots Rationalizing - FAIR
Fear About Immediate Rejection - FAIR
Forcing An Imminent Rationalization - FAIR
From An Insecure Reviewer - FAIR
F*ck! Another Idea Rejected - FAIR - 07/11/2004 - from Joseph-the-smith@lds.org
Frantic Attempt to Ignore Reality - FAIR - 07/11/2004 - SLCabbie
Fucking 'alarious Recitation of Mormon Satire - 07/11/2004 - variouspuz
Falsified Archeological Research for Mormon Studies - 06/21/2004 - anon
SETI - Search for Extremely Tangential Information
FBI - Foundation for Bullshitting Idiots
UNESCO - Unrelated Nephite Excrement and Saintly Conference Offerings
USA - Utah State's Agents
NASA - Never Actually Saw Anything - 05/15/2004 - from Nephihaha
Failed All Reading, Mathematics, and Sciences - 05/03/2004 - anon
Fucking Archeaologists Ruined My Scriptures! - 04/02/2004 - anon
False Acumen Rules Mormon Sentiments - 02/13/2004 - from medicinwolf
Fake Ass Religion Management Society
Fraudulent Arrogant Republicans Meet Secretly
Faking A Revelation Means Something
Fucking Around Really Makes Sense - 02/07/2004 - from Jim McMahon
Futile Attempts to Rescue Mormon Scholarship - FARMS - 11/14/2003 - Steve Benson
Flimsy Anthill Revisionism of Mountains of Sophism - FARMS - 11/04/2003 - from Reggie Living-stoned Seagull
Foundation for Apologetic Revision of Mormon Scams - FARMS - 11/01/2003 - Ghoulslime
Foundation for Abysmal Research and Moronic Studies - FARMS
Frauds Against Intelligent Responses - FAIR - 10/20/2003 - from D. P Gumby
Forgot About Real Modern Society
Frequent Anal Retention Means Sainthood - 10/17/2003 - Gordy R
Forever Avoiding Reality Makes Saints - 10/17/2003 - Utah Nerd
Fools Advocating Ridiculous Mormon Shit - 10/12/2003 - from My bosom's burned out
Floundering Appologists Rewriting Mormon Studies - 08/22/2003 - from dafushpu
Fuckwits Attempting to Resemble Mormon Scholars - 08/11/2003 - from former RC, former LDS
Forever Anal Rentive Masquerade of Science - FARMS - 08/20/2003 - cricket
Real Archaeology Not Chronic Hydrocephalic Egotistical Spam - RANCHES - 08/20/2003 - Kelly A
Foundation to Annihiliate or Rehabilitate Mormon Skeletons - FARMS - 08/20/2003 - from Stinger
Totally Vapid Etymologically Deficient Tutor of Nonsensical Esoterically Spun Smithisms - TVEDTNESS - 06/09/2003 - Nolan Mecham
Front for American Reorganisation of Mesoamerican States - 05/02/2003 - from CIA
Fictitious Archaeological Research Manufacturing Society - FARMS - 02/27/2003 - from Phoebe
Faith, Arrogance and Ignorance in Religion - FAIR - 12/20/2002 - Perry Noid
For All Remotely Mormon Stupidity
Fascist Archeologists Reading Misinterpreted Scratches - 11/16/2002 - from Nephihaha
Fictional Animals Roaming Mesoamerican Sites - 09/21/2002 - Skunk Puppet
Found Answers Contradicting Temple Stories - FACTS - 08/11/2002 - anon
False Assumptions & Rejected Manuscripts Society - 06/21/2002 - from Nephihaha
Foundation for Absurdly-Reduced Men of Straw - 06/09/2002 - Quevedo
Frequent Ad hominem Remarks Mimicking Scholarship - 12/15/2001 - Kilgore
Fantastic Angels are Really Morphing Salamanders - 10/30/2001 - Dr. Shades
Feeble Arguments Regarding Mr. Spalding - 10/30/2001 - Dr. Shades
Frantic Attempts to Rectify Moroni as Salamander - 10/30/2001 - Dr. Shades
Forget All References to Mischievous Salamanders - 10/30/2001 - Dr. Shades
Frivolous, Asinine Responses to Masterful Skepticism - 10/30/2001 - Dr. Shades
Flatulent Academia Rooting for Mormon Silliness - 08/21/2001 - Nephihahaha
Fraudulent Archaeologists Rebutting Mormon Skeptics - 06/13/2001 - John D. Lee
Fanatical Apologists Reinforcing Mormonism's Stupidities
Fraternal Alliance for Regurgitating Mountainous Spindoctoring
Frenzied Apologetics Repulsive to Mainstream Scholars
Feeble Attempts to Reconcile Mythology and Science - 05/29/2001 - Dr. Shades
For Another Reason Mormonism Sucks - 05/20/2001 - anon
Frantically Attempting to Reassess MtDNA Statistics - 05/06/2001 - Dr. Shades
Frantically Altering Repugnant Mormon Scriptures
Foolish And Rude Mormonism Specialists - 12/13/2000 - Dr. Shades
Fanatics Always Reject Modern Science - 10/12/2000 - BrighamSmith
Fueling A Returned Missionary's (p)Sychosis - 09/29/2000 - John D. Lee
Failed Archaeologists Really Misapplying Science
Fanatical About Really Meaningless Shit
Failed Archeologist Resenting Mainstream Science
Fanatical Amateurs Rehash Mythical Stories - 09/19/2000 - R.T.P.
Far-fetched Analysis Readers Might Swallow - 07/19/2000 - Mark F
Failing Again to Really Make any Sense - 07/18/2000 - John D Lee
Foolish Anal Retentives Making up Stories - 07/12/2000 - ARM
Failing Again Investigating Reality - FAIR - 07/12/2000 - cricket
Fast Acting Rectal Mormon Suppositories - 04/18/2000 - John D Lee
Flailing androids ransacking miniscule scholarship. - 03/31/2000 - kponder
Finicky analguys rummaging massacred sense. - 03/31/2000 - kponder
Finally, Archaeology is Revealing Mormon Stupidity - 02/05/2000 - John D Lee
Forget About Research Making Sense - 01/06/2000 - anon
Fanatics Are Running My School - 12/13/1999 - John1
Fiction And Rubbish, Mr. Smith - 11/08/1999 - anon
Fools Abound Ransacking Mounds Seriously - 11/07/1999 - Blash
Formal Ass'n of Retards Masquerading as Scholars - 11/07/1999 - Blash
Foundation Against Religiously Moronic Stupidity - 09/17/1999 - Bobby
Forever Accepting Ridiculous Mormon Stories - 08/05/1999 - Roger
Failing Application for Recommend = Mass Suicide - 08/05/1999 - anon
Fridge Apple Rhino Mousse Spoon (hey it makes more sense than their theology!) - 07/30/1999 - dyonese
finding a real f_cking mess spiritually - 07/28/1999 - blue
Faith Automatically Reduces Monthly Salary - 07/20/1999 - DC
Further Antics Reveal Mormon Stupidity - 07/20/1999 - DC
Foul Aroma Regarding Mormon Scripture - 07/20/1999 - DC
Facts Are Repugnant Muses Saints - 07/20/1999 - DC
Factual Accounts Reveal Mormon Stupidity - 07/20/1999 - DC
Fraternal Alliance Retarding Mormon Subjects - 07/20/1999 - DC
Fathers Abound Recruting Maternal Slavery - 07/20/1999 - DC
Fecal Aroma Repulses Most Scholars - 07/20/1999 - DC
Forget About Researching Mormon Scripture - 07/20/1999 - DC
False Agent Rewrote Master Script - 07/20/1999 - DC
For All Retards,Mormonism Simplified - 07/03/1999 - anon
Friendship And Real Masculine Sensitivity - 06/30/1999 - Nascarago
Fast and Rapid Membership Solicitation - 06/30/1999 - Nascarago
Forthright Anti's Rejecting Mormon Scholarship - 06/03/1999 - skidmarky@netscape
False Appearances Render Monumental Silences - 05/07/1999 - descarada
Fingers Are Really Miraculous Stimulatiors - 05/06/1999 - jlaitres
Fabricated Artifical Ridiculous Mormon Stuff - 04/23/1999 - Fred
Fodder Aimed at Retards, Morons and Simpletons - 04/20/1999 - Blashoodaloom
Flaming Anal Retentive Mormon Snivelers - 04/20/1999 - Blashoodaloom
F*** Anyone who Resists Mormon Scholarship - 04/20/1999 - Blashoodaloom
F*** All Rational Methods and Science - 04/20/1999 - Blashoodaloom
Foundation of Anal Rectumtude and Moronic Silliness - 04/20/1999 - Blashoodaloom
Fearing Against Rejects Morons Scandals - 04/13/1999 - Aaron
Foundation for Accessing Rich Mormons Salaries - 04/13/1999 - anon
Foundation Advancing Ridiculous Mormon Stuff - 04/04/1999 - DataHavok
Fogies And Retards Making-up Stories - 04/04/1999 - DataHavok
Failing And Retreating Mormon Studies - 04/04/1999 - DataHavok
F-ing A-holes Rejecting Modern Science - 04/04/1999 - DataHavok
Facing Arguments, Ridiculous Midgets Sneer - 04/01/1999 - anon
Far Above the Retrograde Minds of the Skeptics - 04/01/1999 - anon
Finding Arguments that are Rational and Make Sense - 04/01/1999 - anon
Fund for Agitating the Really Malevolent and Stupid - 04/01/1999 - anon
Foundation for Arousing Rattlebrained Morons' Sarcasm - 04/01/1999 - anon
F*** Accountability, Really Make `em Scream - 04/01/1999 - Masturbating Korihor
Frothy And Rabit Misogynist Septuagenarians - 04/01/1999 - Masturbating Korihor
Formostly Asinine Rude Mormons Simperin - 04/01/1999 - Masturbating Korihor
Fabulously Accurate Research Methodology & Scholarship - 03/31/1999 - anon
Findings About Righteously Mindless Sheit - 03/31/1999 - anon
Farting Ancients Releasing Methane Salvos - 03/31/1999 - anon
Fat Asses Reading Mormon Stuff - 03/31/1999 - anon
Fabulously Anachronistic Renderings Make Sense - 03/31/1999 - anon
Foolish Are Realistic Mormon Studies - 03/31/1999 - anon
For Any Really Messy Scholars - 03/31/1999 - anon
Fanciful Assertions Regarding MesoAmerican Stuff - 03/31/1999 - thejordan6
Farts Amid Rude Mormons Stink - 03/30/1999 - Nolan
Fruitcake Aged Reasonably Makes Spam - 03/29/1999 - anonymous
False Academic Retarded Mormon Screwballs - 03/29/1999 - anonymous
Finding A Reason to Mindlessly Serve - 03/29/199 - Jimukin
Fudging and Anal Retentive Mormon Sycophant - -3/29/1999 - freak
Find Any Reason for Making 'Scuses - 03/29/1999 - anonymous
Fuel All Returned Missionary Sentiments - 03/29/1999 - anonymous
Fund Any Ridiculously Misleading Study - 03/29/1999 - anonymous
Frick'n Anti's Ruin My Slumber - 03/29/1999 - Hugh Nibley
Flurry of Anal Retentive Mormon Solutions - 03/29/1999 - nlmecham
Find Any Reason for Mormons to Stay - 03/29/1999 - nlmecham
Fending Away Reasonable Mormon Skepticism - 03/29/1999 - nlmecham
Fan-dancing Amid Rabid Mormon Superciliousness - 03/29/1999 - nlmecham
Farts And Real Mormon Silliness - 03/29/1999 - nlmecham
Fanatical Arena of Ridiculous Mormon Suppositions - 03/28/1999 - C-town
False And Revolting Misapplied Scholarship - 03/28/1999 - drshades
Faith As Replacement for Mind and Science - 03/28/1999 - Jerry
Faulty Arguments Refuting Mormon Skeptics - 03/28/1999 - Jerry
First Aid for Ridiculous Mormon Stories - 03/28/1999 - Jerry
Fishing for Answers to Refute Modern Scholarship - 03/28/1999 - anonymous
Flee All Relevant Mayan Studies - 03/28/1999 - anonymous
Fuming And Rambunctious Mormon Screeds - 03/28/1999 - anonymous
Fluent Avoidance of Relevant Mormon Science - 03/28/1999 - anonymous
Far-fetched And Ridiculous Memetic Scenarios - 03/28/1999 - anonymous
Failed Archaeologists Regurgitating Meaningless Scriptures - 03/28/1999 - drshades
Faithfully Altering & Rewriting Mormon Stories - 03/28/1999 - anonymous
Foundation For Aquiring Rich Mormon's Salaries - 03/20/1999 - anonymous
Feeble Arguments Reconciling Myths and Scams - 02/23/1999 - Oregon
Fiction And Religion Merged Smoothly - 03/15/1999 - anonymous
Floundering Acrimonious Republican Mormon Scholars - 03/15/1999 - anonymous
Frivolous Advancement of Ridiculous Mementoes and Spins - 03/15/1999 - anon
Foundation Against Reliable Modern Science - 03/15/1999 - anon
Faculty Appealing Rejected Membership Smithsonian - 03/15/1999 - anonymous
Frenzied Academics Ramrodding Mormon Stories - 03/12/1999 - Elder Alfred E. Newman
Fringe Academics Regurgitating Mayan Scams - 03/12/1999 - Dr. Leaky
In October 1993, to a fawning FARMS banquet audience in Provo, Utah (well-known intellectual capital of the known world, of course), Dallin Oaks said the following:
"Brothers and Sisters, how grateful we are--all of us who rely on scholarship, faith, and revelation--for what you are doing. "God bless the founders and the supporters and the workers of the Foundation for Ancient Research and Mormon Studies. "The work that you do is important, it is well-known, and it is appreciated." ( http://farms.byu.edu/display.php?id=30&table=transcripts )
Yeah, ask anyone on the street. Where? In Utah Valley and LDS Sunday School classes from here to Manti?
Truth be known, even the average LDS person doesn't know FARMS from FAIR from FAKE from FACT.
I'll bet there are only a handful of members in any given ward who know jack about FARMS. They may have seen something about it in a BYU alum mag.
Heck, they barely remember hearing about Hugh Nibley (who they assumed had all the problem doctrine covered).
Oaks was stroking their egos with total BS just like in church when we got told how impressed the world is with the LDS church. - 03/02/2006 - Dagny
All of my most True Believing Mormon friends and family have never heard of FARMS. My most nazi TBM friend actually lived right next to the FARMS building on the edge of BYU campus for several years and still had no idea who they were. Of course, if you have no idea that anything could possibly be wrong with the Mormon church, why would FARMS even be relevant?
FARMS is proof that the church is not true. - 03/02/2006 - Squid
I call it the LFT, "Limited Farms Theory"
The number of members who are knowledgeable of FARMS is limited a small portion of members known only as "Internet Mormons" - 03/02/2006 - Polygamy Porter
FARMS is well known, within a circle of very limited intellect. - 03/02/2006 - FWIW
When I read this (Fat Assed Republicans Masterbating Simultaneously) as one of the choices for the best acronym for FAIR, I actually laughed so hard that I peed my pants. You need to put a warning on this site that reading it may be hazardous to one's bladder. You will pardon me if I remain anonymous for this quote. - 02/27/2006 - anon
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