Modern takes on the secret but not so sacred temple experience. Submit your inspired dialogs or comments in the text box below.
JEHOVAH: Peter, James and John, go down and visit the Mormons in their Information Age, without disclosing your identity. Observe their education there, and learn whether they have been true to the misinformation given to them in the church attendance. Then return and bring us word.
PETER: It shall be done, Jehovah. Come James and John, let us go down.
(The three turn and leave, and the scene turns to a lonely Mormon couple at Starbucks. The man and his wife are shown surfing The Internet with Lucifer following them on his surveillance laptop. Peter, followed by James and John approach the husband, his wife, and Lucifer.)
PETER: Good morning.
LUCIFER: Good morning gentlemen.
PETER: What are you doing here?
LUCIFER: Observing the surfings of these people.
PETER: What is being surfed?
LUCIFER: The histories of Mormons, mingled with lds.org, fairlds.org and other Mormon sites.
PETER: How is this surfing received?
LUCIFER: Very well! Except this Mormon does not seem to believe what is being found on his searches.
(Peter approaches the husband and shakes his hand.)
PETER: Good morning. What do you think of this information you are finding?
HUSBAND: I am looking for prompting from The Holy Ghost to teach me the truth of my surfing.
PETER: That is good.
PETER: Have you had any promptings?
(Lucifer steps up to Peter and interjects his query.)
LUCIFER: Have you any ideas for surfing?
PETER: We don't need any as we have sufficient faith for our testimonies.
LUCIFER: You can find anything in this world with Google.
PETER: Do you ignore your promptings for Google? You have them, I presume.
HUSBAND: I have them, but I do not ignore them for Google. I hold them sacred. I am looking for the further light and knowledge in the upcoming General Conference.
PETER: That is right. We commend you for your integrity. Good day. We shall probably visit you again.
(Peter, James and John exit; Lucifer steps aside, and boasts aloud.)
LUCIFER: Now is the great day of Google power. It reigns from the rivers to the ends of the earth. There is none who dares to protest its information, or make people afraid to surf.
When I was a true blue Mormons, I attended the temple often plus live ceremeonies. Each time I went I would note the markings and when I changed clothes, I would add them to a sheet of paper. After three years I had the complete picture of the apron.
Then when they went to the video it was a back or blue apron with no sysmbols. I said "what the h....!" "Are the symbols not important." "These are sacred symbols to Mason yet Mormons mock them.
Then I moved to Calgary Canada and visited a restored town. They had a Masonic Lodge that was open so people could view the Masonic room from the past.
I JUST ABOUT FELL OVER. EVERY SYMBOL OR PIECE OF FURNISHING IN THAT ROOM WAS A SYMBOL ON THE APRON. I COULD NOT BELIEVE WHAT I WAS SEEING.
I left the room and visited the rest of town and then came back 4 times to that restored lodge. The apron had all all the symbols I saw on the apron Satan wore in the temple. I was thinking, no wonder JS was shot. Forget the printing press.
If Masons knew that Satan was wearing the apron with all their symbols on it, and referring to it as the power of this priesthood, no wonder they shot him.
Just writing this brings back the excitment and disappointment of that day and what I learned.
I have the copy safely locked away in a safety box.
They had a guide there so one could ask questions. I felt it was a sacred room so I did not ask questions but did ask about JS and his 33rd degree. Forget the reponse but I could tell the masonic guide did not feel that happy about JS.
THE PROCREATION—FUCKING DAY
ELOHIM: Jehovah, Michael, see: yonder celestial woman unimpregnated, go ye down on her and impregnated her with a spirit world like unto the other celestial women we have hereunto fucked. Call your labors the Fucking Day, and bring me photos.
JEHOVAH: It shall be done Elohim. Come Michael, let us go down on her.
MICHAEL: We will get freaky with her, Jehovah.
JEHOVAH: Elohim, we have done as thou hast commanded, and have called our labors the Fucking Day.
ELOHIM: These photos are swell.
~ SUCKING DAY ~
ELOHIM: Jehovah, Michael, now go down on each other. Gather your seed together and cause much of your seed to appear. These great ejaculations call ye lesser spirits, and they will become animals to inhabit the land called earth. Fondle each other with great strokes and cause small streams of seed to give variety to the animal kingdoms upon the face of the earth. Call your labors the Sucking Day, bring me word.
JEHOVAH: It shall be done, Elohim. Come Michael, let us go down on each other.
MICHAEL: You go down on me first, Jehovah.
JEHOVAH: Elohim, we have done as thou hast commanded, and have called our labors the Sucking Day.
ELOHIM: It is well.
~ SEX DAY ~
ELOHIM: Jehovah, Michael, is sex found upon the earth?
JEHOVAH : Sex is not found on the earth, Elohim.
ELOHIM: Jehovah, Michael, the let us go down and fuck monkeys and their babies will then be in our own likeness and in our own image, male and the less important female, and put into them the spirits that you impregnated the celestial woman with, and let us give them sexual domination over all things that fuck on the earth. We will plant for them a garden, eastward in Eden, and place them in it to fuck and suck, that they may be happy, and have joy therein. We will command them to fuck the earth. We will place before them the Tree of Knowledge of Good Sex and Evil Sex, and we will allow Lucifer, our common enemy, whom we have thrust out to tempt them with evil sex, and to try to fuck them, that they may know by their own experience the good sex from the evil sex. If they yield to temptation we will give unto them The Law of Sex, and we will provide an orgasm for them, as we counseled in the beginning, that they may be brought forth by the power of the rectum and the erection, and come again only after waiting awhile, so they can't with us partake of Eternal Orgasm and Ecstasy. We will call this the sex day, and we will rest from our labors for sex. Come, let us go down.
JEHOVAH: We will go down, Elohim.
(The film now shows a scene of a lush, tropical area full of monkeys and people.)
ELOHIM: Jehovah, see the child of the monkeys that we have fucked? There is nobody to kill and drive off all these monkeys and to take care of our child. We are here to help this monkey man who we have formed in our own likeness and in our own image.
JEHOVAH: We will do so, Elohim.
(The youthful body of Adam who appears to be sleeping, is shown from the feet up.)
ELOHIM: Jehovah, the monkeys are now banished to the jungles, and we have their man offspring here and will put into him his spirit from the celestial woman, that he may become a living soul.
(ELOHIM sticks him in the ass and Adam stirs, and begins to stand up.)
ELOHIM: Jehovah, is it good for this man to be alone?
JEHOVAH: It is not good for man to be alone, Elohim.
ELOHIM: We will cause a messy wet dream to come upon this man whom we have fucked, and we will take from his ass a bit of his rectum from which we will form a woman to be a concubine and take care of him.
(Adam lays his penis head upon the ground as he looses a stream of semen.)
NARRATOR: Buggers and sluts, this is Michael, who helped fuck the celestial woman. When he awakens from the wet dream which Elohim and Jehovah have caused to come upon him, he will be known as Adam, and having forgotten all, will have become a little child. Buggers, close your eyes as if you were asleep.
(All male patrons in the room close their eyes.)
ELOHIM: Adam, awake and arise.
(Adam obeys the command, and is shown without foliage in front of him. The youthful Adam appears to be in good physical condition, is clean shaven, and is well hung.)
NARRATOR: All the buggers will please arise.
(The male patrons open their eyes and rise from their seats naked like Adam. An attractive, youthful Eve enters the scene and bends over in front of Adam. They are both shown naked.)
ELOHIM: Adam, here is a woman whom we have formed from your ass and whom we give unto you to be a concubine and take care of you in doing all of your cooking and cleaning. What will you call her?
(For the first time, the Gods, Elohim and Jehovah, are shown. They are two bearded, luminescent, glorious personages, not clothed. They appear standing in mid-air above and in front of Adam and Eve, and are surrounded by a radiant aura of silvery-white light.)
ELOHIM: Why will you call her Eve?
ADAM: Because she is my new mother since you killed my monkey mother.
ELOHIM: That is right, Adam; because she is the mother and you need to fuck her. We have planted a garden of sexual ecstasy, eastward in Eden. We will place you in the garden and we will there command you both to fuck and suck, that you may have joy and rejoicing in your promiscuity. Jehovah, introduce Adam and Eve into the garden which we have prepared for them.
JEHOVAH: It shall be done, Elohim.
NARRATOR: We now go with Adam and Eve into the garden. The buggers will now be seated.
(Adam and Eve grab each other's asses, and are introduced into the garden as the male patrons are seated on the butt plugs of the holy priesthood. The scene changes to the garden.)
ELOHIM: Adam, Eve, we have created this garden of delights, and have placed upon it all kinds of good meat to eat and animals to kill and eat. We have commanded all these to fuck their own kind. We give you domination over all these fuckings, and make you, Adam, Lord over the whole orgy, and all things fucking thereof. We now command you to masturbate and romp on each other, that you may have joy and rejoicing in your promiscuity. We have also planted for you all manner of fruits, flowers, and vegetation. Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat, but of the Tree of Knowledge of Good Sex and Evil Sex thou shalt not eat; nevertheless, thou mayest choose for thyself, for it is given unto thee. But, remember that I forbid it, for in the day thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die of ecstasy (orgasm.)
Remember these commandments which we have given unto you. Now, go to, mess around in this garden, take good care of each other, be happy and have joy therein. We shall go away, but we shall visit you again and give you further instructions on how to have sex.
(Adam and Eve surveys the garden, examining the plant and animal life. Adam peers over a hedge of bushes and smiles as he watches a male lion pinning a female to the ground, copulating. As Lucifer introduces himself in the following scene, he stands in the shadows as he begins to speak and then steps forward into the light. Lucifer wears black leather chaps and a gray thong with a dog collar. He is also clean shaven.)
LUCIFER: Well, Adam, you have a new woman here.
ADAM: A new woman?
LUCIFER: Yes, a new woman, patterned after the old one you used to fuck.
ADAM: I know nothing about any other woman.
LUCIFER: Oh, I see, your eyes are not yet opened. You have forgotten how to orgasm. You must eat some of the fruit of that tree.
(Lucifer plucks fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good Sex and Evil Sex, and presents it to Adam.)
LUCIFER: Adam, here is some of the fruit of this tree. It will make you wish you could die of pleasure.
ADAM: I will not partake of that fruit. My father told me that in the day I should partake of it I should surely die of ecstasy.
LUCIFER: You shall not surely die of ecstasy but shall be as the Gods, knowing good sex and evil sex.
ADAM: I will not partake of it.
LUCIFER: Oh you will not? Well, we shall see.
(Lucifer goes in search of Eve and hears a dog lapping. He turns his head and finds Eve getting licked by a dog.)
LUCIFER: Eve, here is some of the fruit of that tree. It will make you wish you could die of pleasure. It is delicious to the taste and very desirable.
EVE: Who are you?
LUCIFER: I am your brother.
EVE: You, my brother, and come here to persuade me to disobey my father?
LUCIFER: I have said nothing about our father. I want you to eat of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good Sex and Evil Sex, that your orgasm may be possible, for that is the way our father gained his sexual knowledge. You must eat of this fruit so as to comprehend that everything sexual has its opposite: good sex and evil sex, virtuous sex and vicious sex, light sex and dark sex, healthly sex and sickening sex, pleasure and pain—thus your orgasms will be possible and you will have knowledge of all sex.
EVE: Is there no other way?
LUCIFER: There is no other way.
EVE: Then I will partake.
(Eve takes the fruit from Lucifer, and bites it and then bits Lucifer. Lucifer reproves her and places the other piece in her hand.)
LUCIFER: There, now go and get Adam to partake.
(Eve turns, and seeks Adam, fruit in hand. She finds him kneeling by himself with a dildo in his hand. Fish are seen swimming below the surface, and white doves fly nearby. As Eve speaks to Adam, he stands and smiles as he sees her.)
EVE: Adam, here is some of the fruit of that tree. It is delicious to the taste and very desirable.
ADAM: Eve, do you know what fruit that is?
EVE: Yes, it is the fruit of the tree of Knowledge of Good Sex and Evil Sex.
ADAM: I cannot partake of it. Do you not know that our father commanded us not to partake of the fruit of that tree?
EVE: Do you intend to obey all of our father's commandments?
ADAM: Yes, all of them.
EVE: Do you not remember that our father commanded us to masturbate and romp on each other? You haven't touched me the whole time we've been in this garden. I now have partaken of this fruit and by so doing shall be cast out, and you will be left a loner in the garden of Eden.
ADAM: Eve, I see that this must be. I will partake that sex may be.
(Adam takes a bite, and Lucifer walks to their side with a look of approval.)
LUCIFER: That is right.
EVE: It is better for us to pass through sorrow of orgasm that ends sex that we may know the good sex from the evil sex.
EVE: I know thee now. Thou art Lucifer, he who was cast out of our father's presence for not fucking the celestial woman that the spirit world would happen.
LUCIFER: Yes, you are beginning to see already.
ADAM: What is that bulge in your panties?
(Lucifer draws away his grey thong up to reveal a black hardon.)
LUCIFER: It is an symbol of my sexual power and prowess.
ADAM: I am looking for my father to come down to give us further fucking instructions.
LUCIFER: Oh, you are looking for our father to come down, are you?
(The Gods' voices are suddenly heard in the garden.)
ELOHIM: Jehovah, we promised Adam and Eve that we would visit them and give them further fucking and sucking instructions. Come, let us go down on Adam and Eve.
JEHOVAH: I will go down on Adam, Elohim.
ADAM: I hear their voices, they are coming.
LUCIFER: See, you are flaccid. Take some of Eve's ass in your hands and make your penis hard. Father will see your flaccidness. Quick! Hardon!
ADAM: Come on, let me get a hardon.
NARRATOR: Buggers and sluts, put on your hands on each other.
(The film pauses temporarily and the lights are turned up while the women remove their clothes. All male patrons grab their woman's asses. The lights are again turned down and the film resumes. The camera pans down and presents the Gods' perspective as they descend. Adam hides behind foliage.)
ELOHIM: Adam ... Adam! ... Adam!! Where art thou?
ADAM: I heard thy voice and hid myself, because I wasn't hard.
ELOHIM: Who told thee that thou wasn't hard? Hast thou partaken of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good Sex and Evil Sex, of which we commanded thee not to partake?
ADAM: The woman thou gavest me, and commanded that she should fuck me, she gave me of the fruit of the tree, and I did eat.
ELOHIM: Eve, what is this that thou hast done?
EVE: Lucifer buggered me, and forced me to eat.
ELOHIM: Lucifer, what hast thou been doing here?
LUCIFER: I have been doing that which has been done in places with other spirit worlds.
ELOHIM: What is that?
LUCIFER: I have been giving some of the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good Sex and Evil Sex to them.
ELOHIM: Lucifer, because thou hast done this, thou shalt be cursed above all the breasts of women. Upon thy butt shalt all manner of creatures fuck, and dirty holes thou shalt eat all the days of thy life.
(As Lucifer speaks he becomes angry and gas begins to well up in his stomach and the winds blow between his legs.)
LUCIFER: If thou cursest me for doing the same thing which has been done with other spirit worlds, I will take the homosexuals, feminists and intellectuals that will follow me, and they shall fuck the bodies thou createst for the offspring of Adam and Eve!
ELOHIM: I will place prudery between thee and the vagina of women. Thou mayest have power to break her nail, but she shall have power to wither thy penis head.
LUCIFER: Then with that prudery I will make the porn of the earth, and with whores and studs I will buy up politicians and net sites, gay priests who molest, and Lane Bryants' who destroy, and reign with burgers and donuts upon the earth!
(Lucifer's butt cracks open and the gas ceases as Lucifer looks defiantly at Elohim; he then turns and walks away.)
ELOHIM: Jehovah, let cherrybum with a flaming hardon be placed to guard the way of the Tree of a Sex Life, lest Adam and Eve put forth their hands, and partake of the fruit thereof, and live with an never-ending orgasm forever.
JEHOVAH: It shall be done, Elohim.
(Jehovah commands, and gay angel is shown shining through the tree.)
JEHOVAH: Let cherrybum with a flaming hardon be placed to guard the way of the Tree of a Sex Life, lest Adam and Eve put forth their hands, and partake of the fruit thereof, and live with an never-ending orgasm forever. It is done, Elohim.
ELOHIM: Adam, because thou hast partaken of the forbidden fruit, the earth shall be cursed for thy sake. Instead of producing fruits and flowers spontaneously, it shall bring forth porn, sexual disfuntion, bridle showers, and noxious wives to afflict and torment man. And by the sweat of thy face shalt thou beat thy penis all the days of thy life, for a monkey thou art, and unto monkey shalt thou return.
I am a Temple worker and whoever wrote this is insane---because the things I do in the Temple are sacred not secret and I feel Heavenly Father with me at all times, so before you start writing awful things know what you are talking about. We are taught not to talk about any religion and I have been to a lot of church's with my grandmother and she is one of the best Baptist I have ever known and my grandfather built two church's and gave them the land and gravesite---there are some wonderful people in this world ---take the time to look around and open your mind because the mind is a wonderful thing and God will bless you. - 10/26/2010 - anon
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha awesome - 10/10/2010 - im smart your not
Freedom of Speech anyone? - 10/05/2010 - Anonymous
I have known persons far more rude and unclean in manner and speech than those depicted in this sketch, yet even they would not desecrate such sacred things in the manner that has been done. Interesting that a Google search for temple images brought me here. As for the authors of this, I would advise that no apology be given save that which is owed to your creator. As for publishing in behalf of our church, please, continue. It is statistically known that greater publicity, for good or ill, will always amount to a positive growth in the church. Why? Even those who have never known the church would only need 5 minutes with a 16 year old seminary student to know that ignorance was the only real author of this mockery. Of course, for the sake of restoring the damned, I kindly ask that you continue such publication no more. - 08/11/2009 - BenCapella
you all will pay for your sins! this is rude and if you are that disrespectful to the true church of Christ, and obviously dont care about it then you shouldnt try and get our photo's and try and learn our sacred covenents. this is wrong and you should be ashamed for the wrong and pain that you have done and caused. i will choose today a more excelent way, i will stand as a wittness of God! he died for your sins, in the most brutal way that any man could, and this is how you repay him?! i bet that you know nothing about the LDS church! your the cum your mother should have swallowed! - 01/13/2009 - never mind!
you guys are going to HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - 12/08/2008 - anon
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