Here's what they were actually thinking (according to my peepstone)...

Spence Kinnard (thought bubble): People tell me that if I turn my head this way I resemble Joseph Smith. And, by golly, I do believe I have his libido! Whoa! That new Motab soprano is lookin' mighty fine today! Mental note, get Sister soprano's phone number immediately after this session. I wonder what that choir dress would look like after a water balloon fight...hmmmn....

Camilla Kimball (thought bubble): I've got a Spence to my left, a Spence behind me. My life is always full of Spence, but never any SU-SPENSE! Land o'goshen! Is this speaker ever bo-ring! Say...when Kennard turns his head that way, he kind of looks like Joseph Smith. I wonder...

SWK (thought bubble): There's that little Lamanite kid in the front row again today. He doesn't look any lighter than he did yesterday. If anything, he's a shade darker. He probably engaged in self-abuse yesterday, the little backslider! I wonder if I should give him my book, "The Miracle of Forgiveness." But his older brother does look a bit lighter. Bravo, young man! Bravo! Absolutely delightsome and almost white! He must have read The Miracle of Forgiveness. Say, when Spence turns his head that way, there a slight resemblance to Joseph Smith... I wonder if he has the same libido...hmmn....I wonder if I should command him to read The Miracle of Forgiveness. - by Perry Noid

Spence Kinnard (thought bubble): Man, check out these side burns. I'm even better looking than David Hasselhoff...or at least that's what Cindy up there in row five said last night.

Camilla Kimball (thought bubble): Damn! Am I pregnant? What's this lump growing out of my gut? Oh, yeah, that's my Depends undergarment. And speaking of garments, it's a good thing I wore the "Dri-silque" material today so I won't have any unsightly leaks. Is this conference ever gonna end? Oops.

SWK (thought bubble): I sense a disturbance in the Force. Ahh, it's Boyd again. Let go, Boyd. In public you must not. Great Jedi you wish to be, eh? Follow my teacings you must then. Oh no, heh heh heh, prophet never you shall be unless longer and stronger than mine your lightsaber is. - by not tellin'

Spence: Look at all the huge knockers.

Sis K: This horoscope is all wrong. I am NOT having an exciting day.

Bro K: I wonder where all the other Keebler Elves are right now? - silly me

Kinnard: "How long do I gotta keep holding these 2x4s on the backsides of these two? My arms are getting tired!" - by Peter Doubt

Kennard's thought bubble: "Whoa, women in uniform make me so HOT!"

Camilla's bubble: "Hey! Something is poking me in my back!"

Kimball's bubble: "Time AND eternity? God! Give me a break!" - by Hmmm, that's a good question.

"awwwweee damnit, I left the laxitaves at home" - by 3D

"Lordy . . . Where is my diaphragm!" - by Mr. Hewson

Spencer Kinnard's thought bubble: "Again we leave you, from the shadows of the everlasting hills, especially since I have a rendevous scheduled in the shadows of the underground parking garage with that gorgeous babe over there in the Choir suggestively caressing her garment line. . ."

Camilla Kimball's thought bubble: "Zzzzzzz . . ."

Spencer Kimball's thought bubble: "'Lengthen Your Stride,' 'Don't Kill the Little Birdies,' 'Is It Love or Lust?' 'The Miracle of Forgiveness.' Gawd, I'm boring myself sick with the same old stupid sermons. Plus, it hurts to talk after screaming at Camilla all the time about how her lousy cooking stunted my growth. My days in Thatcher as a single swinger never looked so good." - by Steve Benson

SWK is mad he was duped, She's mad she's pregnant AGAIN, and the other guys looking for garmie - lines! - by Maddy

SWK "I'm in the mood, but Spense has his eye on my girl and wife's asleep...Damn!" by SamIAm

Sister K: "Uh oh, I think my Ex-Lax just kicked in."

SWK: "Damn, I wish mine would."

Spence (thinking): "What's that smell?" - by Someon

SWK (thought bubble): "Damn! Viagra didn't work again and Kinnard got all the fun with Camilla last night. Someone's gonna pay . . ."

Spence Kinnard (thought bubble): "Damn! Viagra didn't work last night and I had to touch that old bag AGAIN. Damn! I wished I had never slept with that other woman and didn't have this calling as repentance. I hope no one can tell I'm doing it with a dried up 90+ year old . . . "

Camilla (thought bubble): "Damn! That Kinnard is SUCH a STUD MUFFIN! He wore me out again last night. I'm so tired I can't remember where I bought those aspirin that look like Viagra. But I've just GOT to get some more . . ." by Puli

Spence Kinnard - Look how wide Bubbles opens her mouth when she hits that high note!

Camilla Kimball - I wonder how these puppies will look after augmentation.

SWK - We will takes them to the mountain and get our precious back. - by Gatpomb

Camilla: "Damn, I'm tired!"

SWK: "Damn, I'm bored!"

Kinnard: "Damn, I'm horny; look at that babe in the balconey!" - by Rollo Tomasi

Kinnard thought bubble: "Damn, I look good in this suit. I'm practically like a God already."

SWK's wife's thought bubble: "OH no. This dress is the same thing I wore to last conference. I hope nobody notices. I wish I didn't marry such a cheap bastard."

SKW's thought bubble: "Look at all those white red-necks out there. If you're gonna bake cookies, you need a little brown sugar. You can't just use white sugar, no siree, the cookies will turn out bland. I think it's time to give the negroes the priesthood. While we're at it, I think I'll consolidate all of the meetings into a single 3 hour block. Gee wiz, I'm on a roll. What else? Two piece garments. Yeah, that's the ticket. I'm sick of these things riding my crack. Oh yeah, that reminds me, we need to look into changing the temple ceremony, I just realized it is just like the masons, I mean really, it is JUST LIKE the masons." - by Jack

As General Conference dragged on, no one realized that Camilla had passed away 2 hours earlier. - by caption writer

"If that kid fucks up the Sacrament Prayer (TM) one more time, I'm going over there and KICK HIS ASS!" - by Wag