Hinckley: So Sister, have you dug up any dirt on Palmer? I really want to ex that SOB like we are going to do to that Southerton jerk. - 08/06/2005 - anon

Hinckley: It's a real pain to have to deal with our second-class members.

Monson: If the Sisters start getting restless, we'll just play the "Mother in Heaven" card again. - 07/12/2005 - safah kassam

Hinckley:How does it feel to know you will never have the priesthood? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! - 07/10/2005 - from anon

Hinckley:Meet me in the Celestial Room just after the last session, and I'll get you and your friends into the Holy of Holies with me, where I'll give you each a special washing and annointing. Oh, and don't tell Tommy, will ya? Remember, “what happens in the temple stays in the temple”. - 06/29/2005 - from Elder Zelph

Hinckley: I have had a revelation that you are to be my new wife.

Sister in off white suit: Didn't you just say that to the other girls?

Hinckley: Um...now what do I say Tommy?

Monson: Just tell her she has a sweet spirit, that always works! - 03/18/2005 - robertmein65

Hinckley: "Hi, my wife is dead. I am looking for another wife to take to the celestial kingdom. How would you like to be called Mrs. Hinckley? You'd be the envy of your ward and stake!" - 09/29/2004 by Funnybone

Sister thought bubble: "Am I feeling a burning in my bosom or is this just another damn hot flash?" - 09/29/2004 - by cricket

Monson: "Gee Sisters! Thanks for those free samples of Viagra. Frances is eternally grateful to you! - 09/29/2004 - by cricket

Monson: "Whew! Thank God that's over with. Now sisters point me to the punch and cookies." - 09/29/2004 - by cricket

Hinckley: "Now that Margie's gone, will you help me change my Depends?" - 09/29/2004 - by unregistered nurse

"Relief Society lady steadies Mr. Magoo after he tripped on the rug." - 09/29/2004 by MySongAngel

"Help me, Sis, for the love of God, pleeease HELP ME GET OUTTA HERE!" - 09/29/2004 - by kolobkremedonuts

Lady in light-pink jacket speaking to Monson: "Brother Monson, is that a Book of Mormon in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?"

Lady in dark-pink jacket glances down at Monson's pocket.

Brother Monson's reply: "Oh, it's a Book of Mormon."

Hinckley after ripping a senior citizen fart: "Sheesh, Tom, can't you take a hint?" - 09/29/2004 - by Dave

Hinckley: "Don't shake the hand of that asshole behind me!" - 09/29/2004 - by rmw

Hinckley: "I am the God of this world!" - 09/29/2004 - by noy

Hinkster, "Yeah sure you know the first token of the priesthood, but you will never get to be a god like meeeee!" - 09/29/2004 - by Funnybone

Winkley, "It is the hand I pleasure myself with... ooopp! I err mean It is a please to shake hands with you" - 09/29/2004 by Onan the Barbarian

Hinckley: "Has it a name?" - 09/29/2004 - by darquestar

Hinckley: "Who are these broads, Tommy?" - 09/29/2004 - by Stray Mutt

Hinckley: "Two each, as usual Tommy?" - 09/29/2004 - by darquestar