Kimball: "Ah...brother Hofmann, just one thing.... what's this thing at the bottom of the document which says in fine print: 'Forgery by Mark Hofmann, (c) 1980'????" - 04/22/2006 - Darrick Evenson
Exmormon: You see right there, I specifically said I want no further contact from the church!
Tanner: So it does.
Kimball: But is this really legally binding on us?
Romney: We can have the bishops blame future contact on the ignorance of kind hearted members.
Packer: My plot to cover up the skeletons of the church seems to have backfired! Damn Internet!
Hinckley: Here is the legal precedence Spencer. - 08/21/2005 - anon
Spencer W Kimball: This find is really the bomb!
Hofmann: Ehr, what do you mean by that? - 03/30/2005 - AxelDC@aol.com
Hoffman: If it wasn't for genealogical research I never would have found these documents!
Tanner: You have any more of these Mark? Money is no object.
Kimball: Damn, I wish I hadn't locked the seer stone up in the vault. This magnifying glass has smudges all over it.
Romney: My bossom is burning, it must be true! Or it's my acid reflux acting up?
Packer: My factory is tingling it must be true! Oh wait, it's always tingling.
Hinckley: See right here, "White Salamander" was a common term used in Joseph Smith's time to describe an angelic being. - 01/20/2005 - anon
Kimball (thinking): I have a bad feeling about this Hofmann kid, like he's going to blow up some people someday. Oh, what am I thinking? That would be stupid. Oooo, look! Squiggly marks! - 01/09/2005 - anon
Spencer W Kimball: "No, I didn't realize that they used Crayola Crayons in the 19th century, either."
Hofmann: "Never mind the crayons. Look! Real proof Joseph Smith was a prophet. He predicted the design of the logo for the Pillsbury Dough Boy!" 01/22/2002 by Matt
Boyd Packer leaning in over Hinckley's shoulder: And here is Adolf Hitler's signature, John Wilkes Booth and Elohim's too. Now we can condemn blacks to hell because their little factory's are bigger than ours. - 09/09/2002 - anon
Spencer W. Kimball: Where am I?
N. Eldon Tanner: Spencer, you're holding your Urim and Thummim backwards.
Marion G Romney: I feel a salamander climbing up my leg!
Mark Hoffman thinking to himself: I wonder if the paint is dried on the Sword of Laban yet?
Gordon B Hinkley: Do you have to read re-formed Egyptian from right to left?
Boyd Packer: Hey, let me get in on some of this action! - 08/11/2002 - anon
Thought bubble Mark Hoffman: God, this is easy! - 08/09/2002 - anon
Kimball: Damn, this looks like a coffe stain...never mind, lets just get to the centerfold. - 07/26/2002 - from bonedaddy
Kimball: Mark, do you have any papers on homosexuality?
Hinckley: If the Gentiles get a hold of this they will see this whole chapter here is made up!
Packer: Who can sick the Danites after? - 03/17/2002 - Dave Y.
Kimball: With so many predictions....damn, he didn't get a one right... - 02/02/2002 - from Pendragon777
Kimball: Hmmmm....four down....Hey Boydie, what's a 10-letter word that starts with "M" and means "to stroke the salamander"? - 02/06/2002 - anon
Kimball: White Salamanders?
Hinckley: Yes, see right here in our history book, this is where we blacked that part out. - 02/06/2002 - by Mac
Kimball: "And now gentlemen, I shall use this Urim and Thummim to translate the Lost Book of Zelph, which tells of the ignominious origins of the Eskimo..." - 02/06/2002 - from Canmikey
Hinckley: Mark, I know with every fiber of my being that these are the true works of the Prophet Joseph Smith... - 01/25/2002 - from P.T. Barnum
Kimball: "See, I told you guys, this book says it right here! My wife was playmate of the year in 1907!" - 01/25/2002 - Matthew
Kimball: Aha! The fine print tells us to trust in the 3rd version of the 1st vision! We've got those born agains now! - 01/25/2002 - anon
Hinckley: "Good Lord! This sucker's goin' straight to the mildew corner of the First Presidency Vault - and pronto! Maybe I can spill some Postum on it for good measure." - 01/22/2002 - Casio
Hinckley: See? Right there... copyright 1964 - 01/22/2002 - geordieskimo