Your Two Years Supply

Whether you are from the two year supply, one year supply or 72 hour emergency kit generation,please submit a list of you most essential items in the box below. Please check for items already listed on this page because only new or unique items will be posted.

I lost more than 1000 pounds this weekend

01/10/2012 - by lefthandedgoat

A lot of the dead weight I've been carrying around for more then 15 years evaporated over the weekend. The 900+ pounds of hard winter wheat (nitrogen packed), the 200 pounds of beans and other legumes, and some powdered milk, etc all left for a new home via Craig's List. The guilt and weirdness went with it too.

Gone is the fear my mother instilled in her children, "Not to let the neighbor children play in our basement anywhere near the food storage so that when chaos broke loose in the world they wouldn't come and kill our family for it." A good Mormon friend did think I should keep it around for bartering though-LOL

Having some food storage on hand is probably a good idea BUT it's just too weird to me for now and getting rid of it was just one more way of saying, "See you later suckers"!


50 pounds of catnip for cat (must have entertainment)! - 07/07/2006 - anon

Sex in the City DVDS
Queer as Fold DVD's
cases of cigarettes
go go dancers - 04/29/2005 - anon

4 or five hot chicks (gotta "repopulate")
My Trusty Colt 45 and ammo (to rob faithful Mormons)
My Paramedic Aid Bag
All my military gear (I am in the Army)
Vodka (Stoly)
Tequila (Cuervo)
Rum (Captain Morgan)
Whiskey (Glenlivet) - 09/19/2004 - from CombatMedic

I saw it in Somalia . I saw what no doubt were once decent people fight over food and eat dry flour right out of the bag . Im not gonna slam Mormons for keeping food . I use thier websites to prepare my own storage. Thats how I bumped into this pile of crap. There are no vast goverment warehouses of food in the event of famine in this country. That gain in the silos is owned by farmers in co-ops that have been waiting a long time to get chance to stick it to the consumers that have regulated the price for so long. I imagine those old folks in the soup lines in the 30's never imagined they would ever be hungry or have to ask for food. You would do well to keep your food if but for nothing other than peace of mind - 08/29/2004 - anon

We only keep a 72 hour supply, however recently our home and neighborhood was evacuated for fires, many of our neighbors lost their homes. We lived in our car for seven days in an area surrounded by fire with our 8 month old daughter. It was the fact that I left the food storage case in the front closet next to the diaper bag that made it accessible and made us not only able to help ourselves, but to help neighbors and some of their isn't that bad of an idea! - 07/11/2004 - from Kotinca

Well I guess I have to have a gun to fit in, and to fend off my food supply from mormons who run out of food. Lots of T.P.

And I guess I'll have to loot the local library for enough decent books to read! - 03/03/2004 - anon

Funny comments while trying to sell some of our Year's Supply

02/13/2004 - AZgirl

Back in 2002 my dear husband and I vowed to finally get our Year's Supply of food just as the inspired "profits"commanded us to do. We were ever so faithful and spent thousands of dollars and many hours at the cannery to finally achieve our goal.


Now that we are exmos with food storage rotting in closets, under beds, and on 3 sets of shelves in our office, we decided to sell off a bunch of it and recoup some of the money. So much of this stuff we will NEVER eat and we felt a whole year's worth of food was a bit "over the top". Besides, seeing it in front of my face everyday made me feel a lot of anger and resentment at the Church and I would love to have some of the money and space back.

So we sent out an email to friends and family telling them that we were selling some food storage at a discount price. My brother immediately thought we must be having financial difficulty if we were selling our food storage (of course as apostates our lives must be falling apart). I laughed and replied that, no, we are doing just great in the finance dept., but we just wanted to unload some of this stuff.

Then a friend asked why we were selling it and I told her that we just want to keep a 3 month supply etc. and she asked "But what about the Second Coming?..."LOL! She knows we don't believe the Church's bullshit anymore....why would she ask such a stupid question?


5 cases of Cheetos(tm), assortment of crunchy and puffed. Stationery to write my manefesto: "Missouri for the Saints, Death to the Unbelievers!"- 02/01/2004 - from

2 year supply of food for family(need to eat to live)
2 year supply of water(need water to live)
guns & ammo(not the 22 or shotgun either) more like AR15 223,FN-FAL 308, CETME 308, a good high power rifle for long range.
3 10MM hand guns (Going to need all this to keep idiots like you from taking my stuff. I will take your stuff instead!)
Oh and 2 combat shotguns that hold 8 rounds. plus 5000 rnds per rifle and 2000 per pistol.
medican, clothing, ham radio (to keep in contact with family and friends)
spare recharable batteries(so i can reuse battries up to a 1000 times.)
Oh and also gold and silver (cause that will be the real only sorce of money along with fuel, medican, tobacco, beer, wine, ect.)
other mthan many other things i hope that you all have a nice dooms day. - 01/17/2004 - Bo Gritz
Editor's Note: May we suggest you include a spelling tutorial in lieu of all the guns and ammunition. If bullets were brains, you'd be using a pop gun.

The Four Quartets
The Brandenberg Concertos
Meditation bells - 10/11/2003 - anon

wrist Rocket sling-shot
nylon kite
really good pocket-knife
fire-starting gear
a pipe
a few ton of tobacco seeds [shit, if civilization comes to an end I plan to un-quit smoking] - 08/22/2003 - from stormwoman

All My Sex Toys (Dildo's, Hand Cuffs, Gags...)
300 Gallons Of KY
Gay Pride Flag
Gun & Ammo (To Rob Other Mormons Of Food) - 08/10/2003 - from jg

05/18/2003 - anon
My mom told me I should have a year's supply of food just in case. I told her I didn't need to. She said what if there is a famine or something? I told her I get a gun and go rob a Mormom of all their food!

06/22/2002 - fiskadoro
a good supply of lithium
guitar strings
ben and jerry's ice cream
12 dozen kegs of Guinness,
wait better make that 20
blow up doll if there are no women left,or
after they scorned and mocked me to utter humiliation
the novel fiskadoro
about 100 cartons of Camel cigarettes
Krispy Kream doughnuts,lots and lots of them

03/13/2002 - from enigmatic74

My Silver Bullet
Fluffy white robe
2 year script for Ortho-trycyclene
5 gallons SPF 30 Sunscreen
3 of my favourite hairbrushes
20 bottles of my favourite shampoo
3 bottles of Tuscany perfume
The entire video collection of Sex and The City
Dogma and Orgazmo, naturally!
All my cute clothes, jewelry and shoes
5 bottles each of Sabra and Bushmills
My stereo and all my CD's

08/11/2001 - from ZymurgyMan

240 Lbs. malted barley,
6 lbs frozen Hops pellets (assorted varieties)
240 Gal. Olympus Srings water
24 packets dried (Pal Lay) Ale yeast
1200 bottle caps

Everyone will need a good HomeBrew if tragedy strikes!

08/11/2001 - anon Just following in the footsteps of the Mormon pioneerzzzz, according to journal entries.

50 LBS Coffee (Humm?)

25 LBS Tobacco (obviously for healing all the bruised cattle?)

2-25 Gal. Barrels of fine whiskey (washing down the bodies, bribing Brigham, and other medicinal remedies?)

1-50 Gal. Barrel of pure wine (Sacramental, weddings and other celebrations)

10/17/2000 - from utah with love
well my 12 wives of course. the bongage gear and lots of candles. and a 55 gal. drum of that body lotion that all the strippers wear. i think thats what kolob smells like. pretty cool huh. remember payback is the thrill of the hunt

10/04/2000 - anon
Tylenol # 3
White Zinfandel
more Vicodin

09/28/2000 - anon
my DVD collection
my Doctor Who Videos and Books
my CD Soundtrack Collection
computer to get this site
all my favorite candy
and all my gay porn disks I downloaded all the internet!!

08/23/2000 - anon
MAD magazine
six cases of Pay Lay Ale
centerfold of the General Authorities
Green Jello spiked with Jack Daniels

03/30/2000- anon
* condoms
* A 10 year supply of Guns and Ammo
* My local Stake directory
* His and Hers 2 year supply of Prozac

03/22/2000 - Lady DB
* 2 year supply of makeup (maybe 10 years!)
* Lots of panty hose
* 50 boxes of my favorite hair coloring
* Lots of razors for shaving
* My favorite CD's and albums
* comic book collection
* Several cases of Drambuie
* About 90 gallons of vodka
* Club soda and OJ for the vodka
* ice cubes
* swizzle sticks
* cool clothes and shoes
* several pairs of sunglasses
* suntan lotion
* email addresses of exmo contacts
* lots of batteries for all battery operated tools

Comment Section

Good Heavens. Reading this thread almost made me cry. What part of rotating your food storage did all you miss? You don't buy tons of food and just stash it away. You USE IT DAILY. I have a year supply and I rotate it daily. Nothing just sits "under beds, in closets, hidey-holes". Nothing expires or goes to waste. I do agree if you can't handle or store a years supply then start with 3 months. More than a dozen times in my life I have thanked the Lord for my Food storage and so have my friends and neighbors. If you do not store your food correctly, you only have yourself to blame. - 04/12/2012 - Denise


Mormons are very good people, foodstorage is very important to have cause ya just never know what's going to happen tomorrow. God will not protect the wicked. Aka thieves!!! Have a nice starve.... - 02/12/2012 - E


It is November 2010. Forcasters are predicting a very harsh winter. Time to stock up on food and heating and water and walkie talkies. Mormons who already have this are prepared. Those who write notes on this site i.e. phony "mormans" (we are Mormons) a say they'll shoot those who try to take their food supply are forgetting one thing. God will protect us we won't have to shoot you. If you are prepared, you need not fear. - 11/08/2010 - honeybear8645


I'm a Mormon and Proud to Be one...All This Crap your talking is nothing but crap....Mormons are some of the nicest people that you could ever meet...They work hard, and almost all of us have year supplies so if something does will be the one begging us for our stuff...How about when Hurricane Katrina stuck Louisanna and The New Orlean Area...Did we turn our backs No...We came to their aid...You can choose to be stupid or you can choose to be smart...I choose to be smart and help out my fellow Brother...But what will you do..when your starving??? Here are some sights to learn about year supply or buy supplies..,, and for you none belivers that don't know crap about LDS people Http:// Please study before you talk badly about us. - 11/07/2010 - Country Mom


I hope you all die in second coming! If you don't like it don't do it. What a bunch of haters. Fuck all of you mormon haters. Get a religion and stick to it. Don't like it, can't handle it, then fuck off. Too many haters on this website. Come over to my house and try to rob me, I'll pop a gat in your ass too, you fucking pussy's. - 10/29/2010 - seriously


10 pounds of good green bud for medicinal use! - 09/23/2010 - Sister Mary Wanna


Many comments on this site demonstrate exactly why we are having tornadoes, earthquakes, tsunamis, floods, droughts and disasters. Beware, these are only the beginning of God's sermons and calls to repentance. Those who have apostatized from truth will be the first to go, as the Church will be the first to be cleansed. Those who profess righteousness, knowing the truth and pretending to be obedient to God's commandments when they are committing secret acts of abomination will incur God's wrath more fiercely than any who sin in ignorance.

Those who scoff and ridicule: know that as we speak, there are those who wish to weaken America and will make us sick through our food and water, and even through our vaccinations. If they can sterilize us by injecting us with HCG as they have attempted in other countries and as they do with the wild horses, they will have fewer people to defeat when they invade. If they can induce degenerative illness by injecting us with squalene or other adjuvants, we will become too physically weak to fight. If they put enough genetically modified soy into our diet, we will be sterile in three generations. You have no clue what is happening in this society and how important it will be to be able to be self sufficient and have a food supply free of genetically modified substances.

They have already weakened America spiritually by infusing atheism, traficking drugs and pornography, devaluing marriage and family and normalizing deviant behaviours. Those who succumb to these evils will fall in the coming deluge of disasters and wars which will be permitted to penetrate into the United States due to the wickedness of the people, unless they speedily repent.

And members of the Church were originally counseled to acquire a seven year's supply, but when the members did not comply, they then urged them to have a three year's supply. Then it went to a one year's supply. Not because the first admonition was overruled, but because the saints were disobedient, and something is better than nothing. Because of the degradation of the quality of the food today due to pesticides, genetically modified food and many other things, some time in the near future we would be glad to have had food that was produced years ago that will not do damage to us and our children. - 09/20/2010 - Brother Trouble


A true latter-day SAINT will share their food storage. Skip the guns and ammo, just use those ever powerful words, "please"and "thank-you". - 09/11/2010 - Saints share


Your all a bunch of cynics. What's the matter you 'll have nothing better to do. I was just looking for some advice on how to get started and came across this stupid post. Thanks for pointing out though that I should just talk to a mormon about starting a food storage. Get a life! - 07/04/2010 - anon


All this violence, shame on you, you self proclaimed Saints, and pagans. Shame. You who claim to be better than the rest of us. Act like it for once. Food storage is a good idea for everyone, violence isn't. We are all human beings, remember? One day we may need each other to survive, not just those who share our beliefs. Grow up. The world is getting more dangerous because of what we've been doing, along with the inevitability of the probability of natural disasters. Check out the info on Iceland, and the French Revolution. Let them eat cake was a joke based on the very real famine that was occurring, and this wasn't very long ago,but long enough for a large number of us to forget. The mormons will take over the world if the rest of you don't store food, so think about that, pagans! - 04/08/2010 - NonMormon From Holladay


I just want all of you non-believers to know how much good the LDS church does in the area of disaster relief...because they believe in being prepared.

It is pathetic that we Americans live in the land of plenty and don't have a true gratitude for food. Life sustaining food.

Even if no WORLD disaster ever strikes that will turn you into believers, I would continue keeping a rotated food storage because it has saved me thousands in groceries in the last 10 years. I buy when things are on sale. I also was able to feed my family this summer when the disaster of no paycheck struck in our home.

The prophet truly talks to God whether you believe it or not. - 01/16/2010 - Alice Gold


Well, I'm certainly not a mormon- I'm a filthy pagan, my husband is a shintoist and my lover is an athiest- but we did some emergency food storage at my insistance. It turned out to be a real good thing for our family, since when the economy crashed lover and I lost our jobs and we've been relying on one income for a family of 5, and we had some hefty medical bills in there, too.

Just saying that you can be as un-mormon as it is possible to get (like, say, a lady with a two-man harem) and still learn a lot of good things about food storage. It's not just for natural disasters! I wish we'd saved up more food storage, honestly- we'd be under so much less stress right now. - 01/06/2010 - Filthy Pagan


I'm no Mormon, but I did live in UT for 15 yrs. This preparedness business is sound advice in a man-made-disaster era that Obama has created (not inherited). I'm stocking up on food and ammo. Some of the other poster's items are interesting and I may consider stocking up on them as well. It amazes me how many people do not take the current situation in America seriously. These will be the first ones to come stealing from others....sort of like the ants and the grasshopper. This is a nation full of people who don't believe in personal responsibility. What a shame. When it all comes down to the wire, I'd rather see them eat dog food while they watch their dog die than feed them....especially if they are ignorant Democrats who put America in this position in the first place. Elections have consequences and this one is a doosy. Keep on laughing and going about your business, you fools! I doubt we can make it through 4 yrs. of Obama. Ever heard of Myanmar? - 06/03/2009 - anon


I am an old Boy Scout and preparedness is always on my mind. I never thought the Mormons were right about the 1 year food storage until this administration came into power. I am real interested now and that is way I am studying this website. Good Luck to those joking about this situation. - 05/03/2009 - Giraffeman


I recently started slowly building a supply of food for my family, and during research I found this site. I just realized that I am doing exactly what the mormon leaders reccomend, start slow and build up gradually. I just add a few things each shopping day and store it away when I get home for future use instead of immediately. I don't think food storage will protect me from armageddon, but I spent a week without electricity last month during the ice storms, and the fact that I already had some supplies back saved us. We ate well, had kerosene and coleman lamps and a kerosene heater already on hand. when everybody else was running around trying to buy heaters and kerosene after the stations had sold out, we had a supply already on handas well. So I intend to continue to do as before and build on up to a larger stock. These people aren't stupid, they're wise, whatever you think of their religion, and you would be wise to pay a little more attention and think of all the natural disasters that have hit our country in the last few years. What guarantees that one won't happen where you are? - 03/08/2009 - Angel


Just so you all know that its not just mormon opinion that dictates they will be "ready"with their guns, it is also found in their scriptures...D&C 134:11

"11 We believe that men should appeal to the civil law for redress of all wrongs and grievances, where personal abuse is inflicted or the right of property or character infringed, where such laws exist as will protect the same; but we believe that all men are JUSTIFIED IN DEFENDING themselves, their friends, and property, and the government, from the unlawful assaults and encroachments of all persons in times of exigency, where immediate appeal cannot be made to the laws, and relief afforded."

There are many mormons (including myself) that find a great deal of pride in knowing that we will and can do anything necessary to protect ourselves and our families. Pray we never have to, but we will if we need to. - 12/23/2008 - Anon


For those of you who scoff at storing wheat and other self-reliant necessities of life I have only to say that I wish that I may never need mine in an emergency. I would say a cup of 'scoffery soup' or stew will suffice for those who have nothing but ridicule for those who try to be more prudent. AS for weapons, this too is part of being prepared. As a former Marine who has been subjected to combat of the worst kind , I can say that I am more than adequately prepared for all contingencies and many Mormons are not strangers to firearms and hunting. Self defense is also an aspect of survival as is protecting one's family. We are NOT Menanites. With so many disruptions of necessities of life an even greater possibility because of the threat of natural disasters or even terrorism , you would be well-advised to look to your own self-sufficiency. Don't depend on your government to be there when you need them. We have all seen the outcome of this expectation in recent disasters! - 12/14/2008 - billybob


Of course... food storage is necessary for the Mormon faith is it not? And yes, LDS Mormons dont practice polygamy and FLDS Mormons do. Yet both groups do believe and practice "spiritual polygamy". After all, why would a Mormon man desire to "build up the kingdom"and populate the all those planets in the universe near the planet KOLB with his offspring if he did not believe in polygamy? Most definitely, a man is going to need to store food to feed all those children. - 11/27/2008 - O NO J. SMITH!


It's definately cheapest to just buy... not steal a gun and then rob a Mormon of their food. However, it is a good idea to have some food storage. I know, i've been through a few hurricanes and it's proven useful. Two years may be a bit much, but a few months isn't a bad idea. However, in the end, stealing a gun is still cheapter. - 11/17/2008 - Crazy


mormons have guns too - 11/07/2008 - Elder Wynn Chester


A gun, to shoot back at the people that think they are going to steal my food. - 10/26/2008 - Mormon


Evidently there are a lot of people who are missing the boat here. You don't just spend thousands of food to JUST SIT PLACES TO ROT OR GET use it and rotate the old to the front as you replaced the used (which goes to the back. One day a lot of you will be hoping you can eat your words to survive when food is not available or a loss of a job. If you research enough ther is food that is prepared in such a way theat meet of exceed a 2 yr shelf life as does some multivitamans.

One thing is for sure, is some of you would rather starve then learn to mill flour like early Americans and Indians did...lets not forget the Jews whom did it on a daily basis then womwne and men have turned into a bunch of whimps.. THEN PREPARE TO STARVE OR BEG SOMEONE WHOM WAS SMART ENOUGH TO STORE FOR EMERGENCIES AND PERHAPS GET TURNED DOWN AS THEY WILL LOOK OUT FOR THEMSELVES AND THEIR FAMILIES. Actually I remember at he age of 10 having to churn our own butter grind wheat and corn...which by the way was not poluted with pesticides. We done well. A lot could be learned by a lot of you from the Pennsylvania Dutch and Amish about preserving food and living off the land. For those of you whom are making smart remarks about Mormons and suggesting stocking things that will feed your lust I have learned from them.. I do beieve they will heve the last laugh on many of you...they will be eating while you're going hungry...and don't be surprised if Mormons come to your rescue and help you even though you mocked them. I know.... they helped me. Do your homework and stop being so negative unless you own a supermarket and intend of sealing yourself inside when a huge crisis occurs and then forgot to but a means to cook the food...DUMMIES! - 09/22/2008 - Not Stubid


my dear friends I am no religious saint but you soul is eternal and knowledge is power careful what you say because they are more then just words - 09/16/2008 - J


The Church leaders have never advocated a two-year supply - only a one-year supply. To suggest otherwise is at best disingenuous. - 09/15/2008 - Gary Schaugaard


I find this site amazing in the lack of intelligence of a great deal of posters. Especially in the ignorance of actual latter Day Saint (Read: Mormon. LDS is their REAL title) Doctrine/philosophy. For instance:

1. The 2 year food supply ISN'T for the "Second Coming". (So little Miss Disgruntled EXMO above OBVIOUSLY bailed out of the Faith before learning anything about it. Although I doubt the veracity, that means TRUTH, of her comments anyway.) It's about being self-sufficient, and prepared in case of personal, regional, or National Emergency.

2. To all the Jackasses out there who think they'll be able to pick up a pistol and "Rob the Faithful Mormons", keep in mind that they've been practicing "PERSONAL PREPAREDNESS"for 200 years! You think you MORONS are original in the thought of trying to steal from those who are smarter than you?? Most of the LDS members I know have guns (lots of them), and are VERY good with them. I'd be willing to bet that a moderately sized mob packing pistols and shotguns on a rampage in an LDS community, trying to rob them would last.. oh... 10-15 mins. Depending on the accuracy of the Mormons' shots.

3. The jokes about multiple wives are misplaced. You are thinking of the FLDS religion. The FLDS are about as "Mormon"as a Lutheran is Catholic. The LDS church doesn't practice polygamy.

Finally, I'm not LDS (maybe I might become one though)but it seems to me, in the aftermath of the California Wildfires, Katrina, Ivan, Opal, the Southern States Drought last year, Mount St. Helens eruption, the jillion tornados the hit the US, tidal waves in the Pacific that could very easily head east instead of west... They got it right!!! - 07/11/2008 - DocNavy


I am writing this in May 2007 and food storage doesn't seem so much of a joke anymore. An earthquake in China that killed over 26,000 people, a cyclone in Burma that killed 100,000, tornadoes in the southern US that has destroyed 100s of homes and all these surviving people need water and food. Gas costs over $4.00 a gallon and is going up every day, the price of oil is setting record breaking highs and all of our food in the US is transported by trucks that use disel fuel. There is a wheat and rice shortage around the world. We would all do well to use our common sense and store some food and water, not only to help ourselves and our families but to also help others that might be in need. - 05/16/2008 - Rehab


Just in case any of you come back to check later postings! You might want to be careful b/c Mormons have guns too! - 04/08/2008 - Jamie


14 cases of "Dinky Dog"dog food
1 sawed off shotgun
4 crumbly old 12 gauge shells
1 AMC V8 bitchin' ride, w/extra gas tank
1 Blue Heeler dog
1 Bad Attitude accompanied by quirky accent thats aproximately Australian - 04/08/2008 - Marmot


It takes little in the way of brains to be rude and put down others for their beliefs. I'm not Mormon, never have been, however a little caution in case of danger never hurt anyone. The fact that you need to vent, and apparentely maintain, your anger in this way shows that you have serious issues aside from religious preference. Immaturity appears to be one of them.

When you come to rob the "good"mormons of their food you should bring enough ammo to deal with the non-mormons who are already there and willing to blow your brains out. Maybe having your own supply would be more intelligent. - 07/29/2005 - anon

For all you people thinking you'll just rob your Mormon neighbors of their food supplies if things ever get that bad, just realize that we (Mormons) know you've got that in mind. Any man or woman that threatens my or my fellow Mormons' survival will die. Our kind have proved our ability to defend ourselves and to survive in the worst of circumstances. While the idiots of the world are running around unorganized, starving and thirsting to death, the Mormons will be encamped securely and well-supplied, more than able to fend off your petty attacks. If the Prophet said today, "Gather your families and supplies,"there would instantly be an army of millions of Mormons banded together, ready to do whatever is necessary. - 01/14/2007 - Nate H.


HA HA HA You are all so funny. To those that think all you need is a gun cause you will steal the Mormon's Food Think Again cause as part of our supplies we mormons will also have guns to protect our food !!!!!! so just try - 11/29/2007 - fitzy


To all non-Mormans that think that you can walk into a communtity and steal by force the things that we have prepared for our familys, is what I like to call target practice. We mormans are not just prepared with food and supplys, we are prepared to deal with low life pigs that try to steal. I will shoot and I rarely miss.

Hope to see you punks in my sights, peace. - 11/28/2007 - Morman that wil shoot


I bet those people in Tennessee wish they had their 2 year supply of water about now 11/01/07!! - anon


Let's not forget that part of many Mormons food storage is guns and ammo, if you think it'll be easy to take think again, they will band together and have no problems killing you to protect the food they maintained so well for so long. Many would die before letting it get stolen, your out of luck if you think you'll be able to just come in and take it. - 07/22/2007 - armed and fed


They tell me I must be unique. My Armageddon checklist includes:

Johnny Depp - I assume those sun spots are finally going to come after us and I'll need a lotion boy for all the sunscreen.

Hugh Jackman - to sing songs of hope and inspiration; at night it may get cold, and as I assume all the cotton will be burning from those sunspots, I'll need a human blanket.

Colin Firth - to preserve the beauty of the English language. And humanity. Pee Wee Herman - for someone to take out my frustration with (Jackman will be carrying my Uzi)

Patrick Dempsey - my OB/GYN. He does mammos without the squeezing machine. However, there is squeezing.

My entire collection of Shakespeare - even in the grips of hell, we must remain civilized.

Grey's Anatomy - to canoodle to.

Sam's Club - They carry my Bob's

Heath Ledger - I plan to show him all the destruction of hell and fire from the dang brimstones to induce him to kick the habit. That stuff will mess you up! (Then he can be my co-lotion boy). My boy Pat will help with the withdrawal.

Anderson Cooper - We'll need a hot news boy to tell us what Satan's next move is.

Colin Powell - Good luck strategizing against me, suckers!

My bible - They said I have to.

My husband - He can engineer amusement anywhere. - 05/16/2007 - Homeboy Bob


For those of you who are knocking a food storage program, apparently didnt watch tv about the after math of Katrina. When the man stood on tv screamin "wheres FEMA? Im hungry"After reading about the mormon food storage program I have found that this program is not for the second coming it is designed to make one self sufficient and self reliant in times of need. Myself and my family are prepared for the next storm. Yes we live in Florida. For the rest of you, Ill see you on tv SCREAMING WHERES FEMA IM HUNGRY. - 05/10/2007 - Florida resident


What's up with the Mormon bashing? If you don't like what they teach then don't do it. I personal believe in a year's supply of food, my family has used it in times of unemployment and have even helped other people with our food storage. The Mormons don't believe in having guns and ammo for shooting people to save your supplies. I have guns I use for hunting and sport shooting. Get a grip folks - 04/15/2007 - Farron


Mormons need to remember one major thing about their food supplies. If it comes to such conditions where those supplies are truly needed then they will be the first on the list of people to be killed and robbed by bandits, or they will have their supplies "requisitioned"by the army.

Do they really think that having those supplies of food is a good thing for them? - 12/14/2006 - PNM


From what I've seen here, most of the gay guys will be the first to go. All that lube and no food? Guns and ammo, eh? I doubt most of you city types know which end the round comes out. Easy pickings, but considering you have nothing of value, you'd be a waste of MY ammo.

I'm not a Mormon either, but we have hurricanes, tornados, and lots of Muslims on the Gulf coast. I'm going to be prepared for any of them. - 12/12/2006 - Mr. Anon


One dildo/vibrator for each of the wives

16 bottles of hot sauce

3 bottles of douche

several golden shower videos as well as plenty of pairs of panties

2 bottles of lube-preferably strawberry flavored

1 bag of blueberry jelly bellys - 12/01/2006 - anon


I grew up in Idaho, and had many Mormon friends. I know WAY more about the religion then a "Gentile"should. Their 1 year food supply plan always made me laugh. ("Is a case of green beans from the Jolly Green Giant going to save you from Armegeddon?")

Now, years later, I actually DO practice emergency preparedness...of course, not on that level, and no WAY could I stock a year of food, let alone grind my own wheat!! (I'm no Mormon Martha Stewart)

Even though I thought I would never say this, I do agree with the LDS on one thing: it doesn't hurt to be prepared. Of course, their still crazy as bed bugs... - 08/06/2006 - Boudica


Post your comments in this text box.

Name or handle:

E-Mail - leave blank to remain anonymous:


Home - Site Map