Re-name The LDS Church

As of 01/16/2013 there are 471 new names.
Since LDS Temple goers receive new names why not bless the Church with a new name.
Call upon Divine inspiration through the veil and submit your new name now at the bottom of this page.

Naming a church - size does matter

03/03/2010 - by cricket and others from Recovery from Mormonism

I googled around with "longest name for a church" because I was thinking what church has a longer and more cumbersome, "gravel in the mouth" name as TSCC.

I was disappointed to discover one is longer. No, I am not making this up.

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Llanfairpwllgwyngyll

TSCC (The So Called Church) may not have the longest name but it most certainly has the most "new names." Which prompted me to add the 453rd new name to the morg: The Church of Nonsense of Joseph H. Smith of Secret New Names.

Size matter with church names because there is probably a correlation between the length of the name, nonsense and BS the organization spreads around the planet.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints broken down into nine parts is just looking for parody punchouts!

Many of you recently contributed to this list of several hundred new names for the church which is available here.

Yes, but TSCC has MORE FONTS - by Bob T

(small font) "The Church of (huge font) JESUS CHRIST (small font) of Latter Day Saints.

Long church names - by Tdrd

Well, Llanfair PG, as it is called for short, is actually not a church, but a place name in Wales, GB. They constructed the long name to draw tourists.

Until some years ago, the Utah LDS church was of course beaten by one word by the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (no hyphen!).

For long church names I'd suggest The Church of Jesus Christ with Headquarters at Monongahela, Pennsylvania, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Church_of_Jesus_Christ_(Bickertonite)- which, by the way, is the One True Church and the One True Successor to the Church Founded by Joseph Smith, Jr. (True!)

Another candidate would be the Church of Jesus Christ with the Elijah Message Established 1929 Anew http://www.elijahmessage.com/ - which, by the way, is the One True Church and the One True Successor to the Church Founded by Joseph Smith, Jr. (True!)

The Big Box Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Shoppers

12/02/2008 - by Rubicon

Mo-Mart greeters sent for by Mormon President 
Thomas Monson. The LDS Church has all the appeal of a big box retail chain.

The church is in it's corporate phase. Before it was a church composed of local congregations that operated fairly independantly. They built their own meeting houses, they raised a lot of their own funds, they problem solved locally. That's all gone now.

Everything in the church now is financed and ran from Salt Lake. There is a manual and procedure on everything. Church meetings are no longer creative problem solving but lectures on following the manual. Stake Conferences are no longer local leaders or VIP visitors but satelite transmission feeds. Temple recommends are bar coded where they can be canceled at any time and your temple attendance data is tracked. All the buildings look the same and what goes on in them is the same.

Like a Wal-Mart store, it can be Ft. Meyers, Florida or Blackfoot, Idaho, they are all the same. What's in them is the same. The people in them are the same. You don't go to Wal-Mart for the architecture or the culture. Like Wal-Mart the church even has a fake greeter called a bishop.

What might the LDS Church change its name to in 10, 20 years?

04/02/2006 - by Reinventing Grace

Eventually, ya gotta figure, the COJCOLDS will decide its time for a name change, to give it a name that can be said in one breath and is as linguistically versatile as "Mormon".

An acceptable new name, by my reckoning, needs to have the following properties:

1. Forms a nice acronym.

2. Short (3-5 words tops)

3. Focus on "Christ"

4. Bears enough similarity to TCOJCOLDS that it won't be seen as a "big change", or a deviation from that D&C verse that proclaims "COJCOLDS" as being the One True Name or whatever.

5. Is versatile, has a nice nickname, will enable phasing out of "Mormon"--can't phase out "Mormon" now because all the substitutions are such mouthfuls or can't be used like "Mormonism" "Mormonesque" "Mormondom" etc. 6. Removes the "Latter-Day" reference.

So, I figure we can all brainstorm here, if we come up with some good ones we can post them over at the salamandersociety, so in 10 years when the PR machine decides to make the move, all the good ones will have been already invented by the exmos. Call it a preemptive invention.

My first guess? "SAINTS OF CHRIST" Doesn't meet all the criteria, but it might work. It also preserves the slightly funky grammer of the existing name. It's probably too close to "Community of Christ" to be used, but it's a good start.

The name by which the Church shall be known upon
the records of the land shall be:

The Church of Jesus Christ of Looney-day Saints - 03/13/2013

The Church of President Christ of Latter-day Presidents Perpetual - 03/13/2013

The Gerontocracy of Jesus Crusty of Latter-day Seniles - 03/13/2013

The Church of Joseph Smith of Led Astray Saints - 01/16/2013 by Kaitlyn

The Church of Jesus Christ of Etch-a-Sketch Saints - 04/03/2012 by RobertB

The Mall of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Shoppers - 04/03/2012 by Thomas Shitty Creek Monson

The Mormon Church of Joseph Smith - 10/06/2011 - by freeman

The Church of Jesus Christ of We Are Not Weirdos - 10/06/2011 by CA girl

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Excuses or Apologists - 10/06/2011 - by ginger

The Corporation of Ladder-climbing Cranks - 10/06/2011 - by flecher

The Church of Jesus Christ of Rescuing Saints - 10/06/2011 by forestpal

The Catholic Church of Jesus Christ - 10/06/2011 - by Scooter

Moronology - 10/06/2011 - by annagrammy

The American Church of Jesus Christ

The Church of Jesus Christ of Modern-Day Saint Mormons

The Church Formerly Known as the Latter-day Saints - 10/06/2011 - by oddcouplet

The Church of Jesus Smith and the Later Day Dollar Christ's - 10/06/2011 - by azazazaz167

The Church of Bobble Head Dolls - 11/20/2010 by The don't want me back

The Church of Gee Just A Social Experiment of Latter-day Saints - 03/21/2010 - by Davir Koresh and Jim Jones

The Church of Ryan Seacrest of Latter-day Idols - 03/21/2010 - Simon Bar Jonah Cowell

The Scam me, Wham-me, Thank-you-ma'am me rapees of Joe 'Man-Hoe'and master bater of Latter-Day sheeple Smith. - 03/21/2010 - Eternal Infidel

The Church of Nonsense of Joseph H. Smith of Secret New Names - 03/03/2010 - cricket

The Crutch of Horndog Christ of Teetotal Gays&Black-Haters

The Cult of the Most Expensive Mind Control Ever

Denial-and-Suspension-of-Reason R Us

A Group of Mostly-Nice People Who Blow 10% of Gross on a Myth

The Biggest Tax-Exempt Ponzi Scheme Ran by Really Old Blowhard White Dudes in Suits - 03/01/2010 - mootman

The Church of the church. (we worship existence of the church)

The Business with a Church Looking Storefront of LatterDaySaints

Cult of Mormo and his doctoring of covenants - 03/01/2010 - confused

The Church of Joseph's Myth - 03/01/2010 - Segundo

The Church of Holy Revisionism - 03/01/2010 - Makurosu

The corporation of the cult of 15 control freak old men - 03/01/2010 - 6 iron

The Church of Fatter Lay Ain'ts (FLA) - 03/01/2010 - Interested

The Cult of Horndog Joe and His Band of Merry Moneygrubbers - 03/01/2010 - Tiphanie

Church of Ancient Trans-Pacific Israelite Wooden Submarines

The Church of Truth-Claims Derived from Fuzzy Feelings

The Church of "Even" Jesus Christ

The Church of Jesus H. Christ on a Popscicle Stick

The Church of Christ on a Bike

The Church of the True Church of Churchy Church-goers - 03/01/2010 - Dogger Dog

The Mega Real Estate Development Corp. masquerading as a Church - 03/01/2010 - Skunk Puppet

Joseph Smith's Lonely Hearts Club Band - 03/01/2010 - Exmormon Robertson

The Pay or Burn Church - 03/01/2010 - Steven

"The Sex Police" - no wait - that sounds like a Mormon rock group! - 03/01/2010 - grandma

The 10 percenters - 03/01/2010 - MJ

The Corporation of the President of the Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints - 03/01/2010 - Snowball

Mormonism = Mudering the mind minute by minute - 03/01/2010 - I'm Saucie and You are not

The Incredibly Shrinking Con Cult Corporation of Creepy Crinkly Men - 03/01/2010 - esias

The Utah Branch of the Jesus Christ Corporation - 03/-1/2010 - Dagny

The Church Of Jo - 03/01/2010 - anon

Mormonism: The Fostering Faith in Fiction Faction - 03/01/2010 - steve benson

First Church of the Smithereens - 03/01/2010 - DoxiNoMo

The Church of Jesus Driving the Short Yellow Bus - 03/01/2010 - Fubeca

The Hierarchy Club for Men

The Anxiety Association

MorCo

Conformists 'R' Us

The Church of Cry-intology

The Indoctrination Center

My Ancestors' Big Mistake - 02/19/2010 - Stray Mutt

Wolfram & Hart in the Latter Days http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolfram_&_Hart - 02/19/2010 - OfTwoMinds

Church of the Blessed Bloomers

Dead Dunker's Society

Church of Jeebus Smith of Latter Day Morons

Old Men's Holy Undie Association

Sacred Not Secret Church of Masonic Handshakes

Church of the Holier Than Thou - 02/19/2010 - Jersey Girl

The Salt Lake Mind Messing Metamucil Masticators - 02/19/2010 - Ziffsword

The Church of Seekers of Validation and Deniers of Reality

The Church of My Jesus is Better Than Your Jesus

The Church of Mainstreaming and Suppression of Politically Incorrect Doctrines

The Church of Don't Believe What You Read on the Internet. In Fact, Don't Even Go There.

The Church of Cognitive Dissonance Means You're Unworthy

The Church of I Don't Think We Teach That

The C.U.L.T. (Church of Ugly Lingerie and Teetotalers)

The Church of Useful Truths - 02/19/2010 - jacyn

The Church of the Arrogant, Entitled & and the Uninformed - 02/19/2010 - mav

The Church Latter-day Garment Loads - 02/19/2010 - Uncle God

The Church of Jesus Christ of Where's My Ten Percent! - 02/19/2010 - Nephi The Endowed Mail Address: Count_Ur_Kultur@comcast.net

The Church of the Never Changing Gawd- (oops, gotta make change 3,001 in the BOM). - 02/19/2010 - mav The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Gosh, people. Leave us the freak alone!!! This is completely messed up! - 02/09/2010 - Google

The Church of Jesus Christ the King who had no Clothes - 01/09/2010 - cactcap

The Jehovah's Seventh Latter Day Saints of the Church of America, Scientist (Church of America for short). - 10/24/2009 - www.thespoof.com

Church of Joseph Smith, Anti-Christ - 04/25/2009 - Jim Stiles

Church of White Bread and Jello - 04/24/2009 - anon

The Church of Jesus Christ of Ladder Day Saints - 04/10/2009 - Daniel L. Olsen

The Family Second - Church First of Latter-day Spiritual Slaves - 03/10/2009 - cricket

The Church of Joseph Smith of Latter Day Cash-flow - 12/14/2008 - Shel

Church of White Bread and Jello - 12/14/2008 - LMFAO!

The Big Box Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Shoppers - 12/02/2008 - Rubicon and cricket

Mo-Mart - 12/02/2008 - cricket

Frankenchurch - 05/09/2008 - Helamonster

The Church of Snoop Dogg of April-Fools Pranks

The Church of Gladys Knight of Latter-day Pips

The Geriatric Church Led By 15 Lawyers, Doctors, and Shysters - 04/08/2008 - anon

The Cult of Joseph Smith of Holier-Than-Thou Saints - 03/01/2008 - by rt

The Chruch of Cheesy Fries and Rattely Snakes

The Celestial Kingdom Burning Hell Church - 02/12/2008 - bean_adam

The Church of the Many Gods of Blond Haired Blue Eyed "Saints" - 01/08/2008 - wally

The Latter-day Church of the Demon Moroni - 09/13/2007 - Ry

Eternally Pregnant Jesus Freaks for Kolob - 08/22/2007 - lisa

Welcome To Matrix - 07/15/2007 - formerBYU

LDS- Liars, Deceivers, Seducers - 06/23/2007 - One of the few smart Utahns!

The Church of KISS Wanna Be's - 04/05/2007 - bleah

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Spin - 02/03/2007 - by New Name

The Church of R Rated Movie Bashers. - 02/19/2007 - I heart Rachel McAdams

The Church of Monson's Apple Pie and Smiling Widows - 01/30/2007 - NoToJoe

The Apocryphal Nice People Who Apparently No Longer Have A Legal Department That Actually Communicates With People - 01/11/2007 - Jason MacCord

The Temple of Doom - 12/22/2006 - LGC

CULTS - anagram derived from SLC UT (SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH) spells out: CULTS - 12/22/2006 - anon

The Church of Joseph's Cock in Latter-Day Saints - 12/22/2006 - eighthman

Welcome to the Church of Don't Touch Yourself of Latter-day Prudes - 12/12/2006 - Gordon Diditallthetime

The Church of Joseph Smith and the Latter-Day Pharisees - 12/12/2006 - LGC

The Church of Joseph Smith of Losers, Dolts, and Suckers - 12/12/2006 - D. P. Gumby

Church of Jesus Smith - 12/10/2006 - Matt

The Church of Latter Day Mountain Meadows Massacre - 12/10/2006 - mormon hitler youth

The Cult of "Lordy I Shrunk the Church" - 12/10/2006 - Gordon B Hinckley

The Church of We Know We're Dead Wrong, But We're Rich, So Who Cares? Give Us Your Money If You Have Any Hope Of Entering One Of The Three Kingdoms. We're Dead Serious. 12-10/2006 - LGC

The Church of Jesus, Where Art Thou? We Know You Not. - 12/10/2006 - LGC

The Church of Joe vs. The real Jesus - 12/10/2006 - LGC

Green Apron Palace - 12/10/2006 - NoToJoe

Morgco - 12/10/2006 - Rubicon

The United Saints of an American Jesus - USAAJ

The Church of Christ of The Temple-Worthy Anointed or "The More Womens" - acronym = TWA - 11/26/2006 - Cats

The Church of Inspired True United Saints (COITUS) - 11/26/2006 - JW the Inquizzinator

The Church Jesus Crutch and the Holy Placebo - 11/26/2006 - Nebularry

The Packerite Compound - 11/26/2006 - Truman Burbank

The Church of Fools - 07/25/2006 - by Back To My Senses

The chuch of crackheads and hos with Joseph Smith being the head seller and pimp - 07/24/2006 - anon

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Insecurity - 07/06/2006 - by Stray Mutt

The Church of Jesus Smith of Smoke and Mirrors - 07/01/2006 - by David Copperfield

The All American Firm and Their Latter-Day Investors - 05/07/2006 - by anton

Last Dummy Standing - LDS - 04/22/2006 - anon

The Church of Ziontology - 04/21/2006 - by Axhead

The Cult of Joseph Smith of Latter-day Heretics". - 04/02/2006 - Agassiz

Amwaywalmart - 04/02/2006 - Rastacat

The Church of Jesus Christ of See Guys, We Have Jesus Christ In Our Church's Name, We're Christians, Too! - 11/26/2005 - anon

The Crutch of Joseph Christ of Latter-Day Cranks - 11/25/2005 - Flipping Bird

The Church Of The Man Who Never Existed: Jesus Christ. - 11/25/2005 - Stephen

The Church of Real Estate Development of Latter-day Saints - 11/18/2005 - Jenson

The Church of Joseph Smith of Lecherous Lay Saints - 10/22/2005 - anon

The Church of Joseph Smith of Latter Day Sheep - 10/22/2005 - MomoNoMo

The Church of Jesus Christ of Just Not As Much Fun As It Used To Be Saints - 10/22/2005 - anon

The Church of Joseph Smith of how am I supposed to rest on the seventh day with all these damn church meetings? - 08/21/2005 - from wish I wasn't an RM

The Church of Century Twenty-One of Latter-Day Land Barons - 07/29/2005 - cats

Ladderday Stains - 06/26/2005 - anon

The New Church of Jesus Christ, Latter Day Saints: Now With Chocolate Sprinkles! (A reference to their "Black Revelation") - 05/05/2005 - anon

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Sexcapades of Joseph Smith - 04/17/2005 - Charlie Sheen

The Church of Organized Superstitions of Latter-day Saints - 03/31/2005 - Luigi Board

The Chuch of Latter-Day Suckers of Who would actually believe this shit? - 03/14/2005 - anon

The Church of Let's Beget a Ton of Babies

The Perch of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Storks - 02/14/2005 - from weirdo

The Church of Caterwauling Kids, Hard Work, Overly Long Services, Orwellian Censorship, Huge Hotel Lounges, Nicely Painted Rooms Depicting Fictional Stories, and Movies as Part of Religious Ceremonies - 02/14/2005 - nudnik

Church of the False Prophet of the One World Church (From Revelations) - 02/13/2005 - anon

Ministry Of Rhetoric, Misinformation, Obfuscation and Nonsense - MORMON - 01/28/2005 - Non Sequitur

The Church Jesus Sheist of Latter-day Sludge - 01/21/2005 - Elder Roto Reuter

The Church of Joseph Smith of Latter Day Saints (Lets face it, they would call it that if they could get away with it) - 12/13/2004 - former jack ex ahhh freedom

The Church of Overwhelming Guilt and the What Ifs - 09/23/2004 - anon

The Church of Gladys Knight of Latter-day Pimps - 09/23/2004 - cricket

The Smirks of Joseph Smith of Latter-day Lip Service - 09/23/2004 - cricket

The Church of $candals, Incest and Inbreeders

The Church of Jesus We Are Not in Denial

The Church of Money, Supression, and Male Sexual Domination

The Little Dumb Secretive Church of Horrible Lies, Dishonor, and Lousy Excuses

The Jesus Allmighty Church as My Blanket to Reap Billions and Assault Millions

The Cult of My Jesus Is Better than Your Jesus

The Amercianized Self Righteous Extremist Cult Linked to Osama Bin Laden

The Church that Breds'em Young to Keep'em Dumb

Our Jesus Is So Great - No Member is Worthy Of Reasonable Honesty and Rational Logic

The Church of Jesus Wanna Be's and Christian Comparision Addicts

MoreMoneyism

The Church Built on Numbers From The Dead

The Church of REALLY REALLY Great!!!!! People Hindered By Guilt, Denial And Endless Shame

The Church that Only Counts Money and Numbers To Find A Path to Heaven

The Church Of My God-Aweful Inlaws Who Refuse to Enjoy Everyday Life

The Kingdom of Zealots, Incest, Opression, and Narcissism

The Church of Impossible Reality

The Church of Why Is Everybody Always Picken On Me

The Church of Self-Righteous Whinners and Prozac Addicts

The Church... Smooth Like a Ken Doll and Phony Like Barbie - 09/12/2004 - HotMAXX

The Church of the Almighty Frag. - 07/18/2004 - from Lobo

The Corporation of the Pre$ident of the Church of Je$u$ Chri$t of Latter-Day $aint$ - 06/21/2004 - Mad Jesuit

The Shirks of Jesus Christ of Lackadaysaical Saints - 05/22/2004 - anon

The Church of Gee Such Lies of Latter Day Remains - 05/03/2004 - Miller

The Church of Beware of False Prophets in the Ladder Days - 05/03/2004 - Maria

Club Kolob - 04/29/2004 - Sara

The Church of Gee Such Tries to be Let's Pretend Saints - 04/17/2004 - cricket

Holy Joe's Crazy Cult

The Church of Satanists for Jesus

The Masons with Boobies

Gawd's Little Helpers

Wako - 04/05/2004 - from Sara

Lesbians Deemed Sinners - LDS - 04/04/2004 - anon

The Church of "JESUS CHRIST is this shit stupid!" - 04/02/2004 - anon

The church of HEY , i'm a con man and i wrote the book of mormon and you brought it hook line and sinker - YOU SUCKER!!!! - 03/28/2004 - stevejudy22

The Club of Jesus Christ of Let's Pretend Saints - 03/25/2004 - P.H. Dunn

The Church of Stupid - 03/25/2004 - by John

The Church of Squatters Pub and Latter Day Aints. - 03/13/2004 - activejackmormon

The Paint-by-Numbers Church - 03/10/2004 - Stray Mutt

LDS...Cast the first stone....The Church of Latter-day Stonethrowers - 02/20/2004 - anon

The Church of Jesus Christ which used to be really weird but is really, really nice now. - 02/14/2004 - Sister Smiley Mannerpants

The LSD Church - 01/11/2004 - Timonth O'Leary

The Church of Can't Fool Me Twice of Scatter-brained Saints - 01/11/2004 - SB

The Church of He Just Cries of Viagra-day Say It Ain't So's - 12/15/2003 - Bob Dole

The Churn of Heaps-o-Crisco of Larger-than Life Saints - 12/13/2003 - Elder E. Theo Opia

The Church Jell-O Christ of Cosby-day Saints - 12/13/2003 - Martin Luther King, Jr

The Worst of Jesus Smith of Latter-day Stains - 12/07/2003 - Hugh Nippley

The Chuck-a-Rama of Jesus Christ of Larder Day Saints - 12/05/2003 - Elder Huge Nibley

The Lurch of Joseph's Tryst of Laid Her Daily Saints She Aint - 11/27/2003 - Fanny A.

The Smirch of Joseph's Vice of Lawyer Paid Saints - 11/27/2003 - Kirton McConkie

The Church of Gee Such Fantasy of Trippy-day Shrooms - 11/27/2003 - Tim O'Leary

The Circus of Fleas and Lice of Fatter-day Mice - 11/27/2003 - anon

The Firm of Fleece and Heist of Lawyer-raid Strains - 11/27/2003 - Jerry Spence

Church of Levi Strauss of Splatter-day Paints - 11/22/2003 - SB

The Church of Jesus Christ of Splatter-day Spam - 11/17/2003 - Sister Tellie Marquetier

The Best Church Arrround the Church of Jesus Crist of Ladderday Saints - 11/16/2003 -SA

Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saint Nicks - 11/14/2003 - Elder Oliver North Pole

Gordon B. Hinckleys Flying Circus - 11/09/2003 - from Nephihaha

More-men-is-em - Mormonism - 11/04/2003 - from the Maricopa Expositor

Re-naming the Mormus Enormus: The Church of Geez-Us Cries from a Lotta-Damned Shame. - 11/04/2003 - from Braggin' Young, profit,shares and regulator.

The Church of Joseph Smith of Big Mistakes - 10/07/2003 - melissa

The Smirks of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Smugness - 10/05/2003 - Sister C. Lestial and Elder E. Leckt

The Church of a Complete Breakfast and Frosted Flakes

The Shits of Jesus Christ and the Stain Called Zion - 09/29/2003 - from jeebus h. christo

The Only True and Living Church of Jesus Christ in Which He is Well Pleaseed and the Rest are an Abomination, as Jesus Himself Stated - 09/27/2003 - Joseph Smith

The Church of Joseph's Crew of Lusting Dirty Scumbags - 08/24/2003 - from dafushpu

(L.D.S) = S.D.L = Satain Demands Lots of your work, money, and time. - 08/22/2003 - from UcanBeAGod@sellYourSoulToSatain.com

Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Snake Oil - LDSO - 08/22/2003 - Marlin Perkins

"PAGAN'S 'R' US" - 08/11/2003 - repete3966

The Church of Grief And Strife of Latter-Day Sinners - 07/28/2003 - GJ

Latter-day Spin - LDS - 07/24/2003 - Don Quijote

The maybe Later Day Saints - 07/24/2003 - anon

The Church of Gee Such Latter Day Sensationalism - 07/12/2003 - cricket

Grand Bland Correlated Plan - CBCP - 07/07/2003 - Stray Mutt

Church of Boyd - COB or Crock of Bull - COB

The Crock of Gibraltar - COB - 07/06/2003 - anon

The "well, I don't really know, I'm just a missionary, I'm not that familiar with the bible" church - 05/11/2003 - from Jason Caryl, Washougal Washington

The I can't believe it's not butter ... I mean christianity cult - 05/11/2003 - anon

The cult where No DNA is Good DNA - 05/11/2003 - anon

The cult of personality - 05/11/2003 - anon

The LSD Church - 05/11/2003 - anon

LDS of Eeeevil! - 05/02/2003 - anon

Satan's Church of Latter-Day Scumbags - 04/18/2003 - anon

Self-righteous R Us - 04/12/2003 - Peter Pious

The Church of Returned missionaries that end up being gay and masturbating to fantasies of their companions... - 02/08/2003 - anon

Hamster Wheel to Heaven - HWH - 12/30/2002 - Archimedes

The Assembly Of Green Jello

The Church of Donner Pass

The Church Of Any Name Is Shorter Than The Church Of Jesus H. Christ of Latter-Day Stains

The Church Of Brigham's Bedroom - 11/30/2002 - wedgehead

Church of you're not getting out of here alive or dead - 11/23/2002 - from free stinker

Lamanites Died Sane - LDS - 11/16/2002. - anon

Lost and Deluded Souls - LDS - 11/02/2002 - from Oregonian

Lower Demonic Servants - LDS

Lucifer's Disciples of Sex - LDS - 11/02/2002 - Todd

WTF? - 08/11/2002 - from Matthew

Lobotomized Distinct Society - LDS - 07/26/2002 - anon

Revised Church of the Delayed Daily Bread

Disorganised Church of the Splattered Gay-ain'ts - 06/27/2002 - anon

The Church of Smoke and Mirrors of Let's Delude ourSelves - 06/16/2002 - Elder Shir Lee McClain

The Church of Mormon Mainstream of Latter-day Diluted Doctrine - 06/16/2002 - Bruce "R Mad As Hell" McConkie

The Church of McTemples of Latter-day Eleven Million Served So Far - 06/16/2002 - Ron L. McDonal

The Church of Sam Walton of Latter-day Walmart Meeting Houses - 06/16/2002 - Frank Lloyd Wright

The Church of Joseph's Cast of Lost Damned Souls (LDS) - 06/03/2002 - anon

The Closet of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Janitors - LDJ - 0/03/2002 - Mr. Clean

Cult of Joesph Smith of Latter-Day Hypocrites - 06/02/2002 - anon

The Pagoda of Buddha of Latter-day Sages - 05/26/2002 - by goon

Lacking Discernable Sense - LDS - 0526/2002 - wileyboy

The Church of Jesus Christ It's Later Than You Think- "THE MORONS" - 05/20/2002 - The Kinderhooker

The Veterans of the War in Heaven - Kolob Chapter - 04/14/2002 - Paul Dunn

The Scrotum of Joseph Smith of Laid Her Day Sins - 04/14/2002 - J. Falwell

"THE CHURCH" Must be the true name, everybody is always wondering if I belong... - 02/17/2002 - from P.T. Brigham

The Clutch of Joseph Smith of Latter Day Studs - 02/16/2002 - Pete O. Philia

The Crock of Joseph Smith of Latter Day Suds - 02/16/2002 - Elder Jack Daniels

The Crotch of Joseph Spice of Peter Lust Babes - 12/08/2001 - Dark Sparks

The Church of Our Shit Doesn't Stink - 12/07/2001 - Alex Fancher

The Church of What Have You Done for me Lately - 12/07/2001 - Alex Fancher

The Cult of Joseph Smith of Latter-day Sheep - 12/07/2001 - anon

Pay-Lay-Ailing - 12/07/2001 - names-r-us

Church of Tithing of Ladder Day Suckers - 12/07/2001 - names-r-us

The generic Christian Church, formerly known as the Church of the Latter Day Saints, formerly known as the church of Jesus Christ, formerly known as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, commonly known as the Mormon Church ...phew! - 12/07/2001 - FormerFaithful of the Recovery Bulletin Board

Church of Jesus and Temple of Mammon - 11/23/2001 - anon

Logical Discussions Silenced - 11/22/2001 - John D. Lee

First Church of Orwellian Thought - "Some Christians are MOre Christian than others" - 10/26/2001 - anon

The Church of Just a Couplet and Packer's Gay Taints - 09/27/2001 - BNice

We're Nice Church Of Jesus [in no way affiliated with any sinister polygamist organisations] - 08/21/2001 - Nephihahaha

The People's Republic of Utah - 08/18/2001 - anon

We don't really believe our doctrine, we just teach it and butter it up. - 08/17/2001 - Matthew

The Church of "It's Amazing How LDS Is An Anagram Of LSD--It Would Explain Joe Smith's Weirdness" - 08/11/2001 - Adolf Stalin

The Church of J... , (wait a minute , Joseph Smith , Jehovah's Witnesses , and Jackasses all start with a "J". I knew I would someday get a revelation about the truthfullness of the church! ) - 08/11/2001 - John D. Lee

The Missionary Position - 08/11/2001 - Matthew

Brand New Lamanite Friendly Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints - 08/11/2001 - Matthew

The "No Intellectuals" Club - 08/11/2001 - Matthew

Just a Regular Ordinary Mainstream Church. Nothing "unique" About our Dotrine, Just a Couplet - 08/02/2001 - Matthew

Gordon B. Hinckley's Couplet League - 08/01/2001 - anon

The Church Formally Thought To Be True - 07/30/2001 - John D Lee

Light Doesnt Shine - LDS - 08/02/2001 - John D Lee

The Church of Boyd K. Packer of Masturbation is Evil - 07/26/2001 - Matthew

The Church of Jesus Christ of...(wait a second! Jesus and Joseph Smith's names both start with a J!  Wow, tithing really pays off!) - 07/24/2001 - Matthew

The Church That is Perfect the Way it Is Though it Changes its Mind Every Couple Decades - 07/24/2001 - Matthew

Locked in Denial Society - 07/22/2001 - Dick Wilde

The Church of "12 year old boys who don't play with themselves so they can be worthy of the preisthood" .com, Inc. - 07/17/2001 - anon

The Church of Milk Before Bullshit - 07/16/2001 - Mikey

The Church of Satan - 07/16/2001 - Matthew

The Morg Collective - 07/12/2001 - Matthew

Let's Destroy Scripture -and make farfeched stories to make it apply to our pagan beliefs - 07/12/2001 - Eighty9Accord@aol.com

The Church of of of...of what again? - 07/05/2001 - anon

Lucifer's Dysfunctional Seminary - 07/05/2001 - anon

The Church of Milk Before Meat - 07/05/2001 - anon

The Corporation of Joseph Smith/Jesus Christ of Latter-end Tithe settlements, Inc. - 07/05/2001 - Matthew

The Church of Bogus Christ and Latter-day Guilt - 06/22/2001 - anon

Lucifer's Deluded Servants - LDS - 05/08/2001 - John D. Lee

The Chuch of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Its perfect the way it is. And here is my e-mail so all you anti-mormons send it on my way. - 12/23/00 - aquabatfan@hotmail.com

First Church of Polygamous Science

Church of Christ, Polygamist - 12/22/2000 - Brigham Smith

Honey I Lost The Plates

Learning Disabled Sevants

Church of if you ask a question you will dwell in outer darkness for eternity (I got mine. Try to find yours. No peeeking )

Church of how many childeren can you make your wife have and not be arrested for child abuse. - 12/22/2000 - anon

Let's Dumb Society

Long Day Searchers

Let's Do Something (useless)

Love Daddy Smith

Lunatics Do Succeed - 12/14/2000 - anthonykwhelan@yahoo.com

The church of...oh thats sick and wrong!

The church of lets get married so we can have sex, then get a divorce latter(later) in the day! - 12/08/2000 - anon

The Fraud of Joseph Smith of Latter Day Suckers - 11/29/2000 - Stevey D - SDeBirk@aol.com

Families Are Forever Inc. A subsidiary of the Marriot Foundation for spiritual blundering - 11/29/2000 - anon

L.D.S. = Lay Down Silver - 11/29/2000 - Just Me

The Cult Of Joseph Smith of Latter-Day Sheep - 11/23/2000 - mikem1502@altavista.com

L.D.S: Lost Diabolical Souls - Chicago, IL - 10/21/00

New name for lsd chrutch= "Joey said it , I believe it , and that settles it ! Now , Where's my ugly underwear!!!! - 10/10/2000 - Gullible Little Lemming

"The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day AIN'TS" 10/09/2000 - Lorna Snell, Sacramento, CA

THE CHURCH OF "jesuschrist" OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS 10/09/2000 - Lorna Snell, Sacramento, CA

devil church devil church devil church! - 10/09/2000 - satanfirehell@hotmail.com

L.D.S. - Lost and Deluded Sheep - 09/29/2000 - John D. Lee

L.D.S. - Lucifer's Delivery Service - 09/29/2000 - Gabriel

L.D.S. - Lots of Deep-dark Secrets - 09/29/2000 - John D. Lee

The Church of Backward Moralist Crusaders!! - 09/29/2000 - anon

Kolob? Ugly Underwear? No Coffee? Reformed Egyptian? Gonna Be A God Someday?----No , This Aint No Church , Its A Bunch Of Nuts. - 09/20/2000 - Tom Baur

Church of Jesus Crying 'cuz he's Laughing So Damn Hard. - 09/07/2000 - anon

Starbuck's Worst Nightmare - 09/04/2000 - John D. Lee

The Multiple Personality Disorder Store - 09/04/2000 - anon

The Church of the Decaffienated Lemmings - 08-30/2000 - John D. Lee

The Crutch For The Latter-day Lemmings - 08-30/2000 - John D. Lee

The Church of Elderly Saints - 08/24/2000 - anon

The Church of Gee Such Trites of Latter-day Lampoonsters - 08/03/2000 - cricket

Coffee Haters Anonymous - 08/02/2000 - John D Lee

The Church of More Money Ism - 08/02/2000 - anon

Leviticus Direction Service - 06/22/2000 - anon

The Gold-Plated Church, INC. (All Rights reserved MDCCCXXX by Intellectual Reserve AKA "Joe - 05/27/2000 - anon

Utah Rite Masonry - 05/25/2000 - John D. Lee

The Church of Cheese and Rice of Rattle Day Snakes - 05/25/2000 - anon

The Church That Does All The The Thinking For You - For Just 10% Of Your Income! - 05/23/2000 - anon

True chruch of Christ. All the people on this web site are judging unrighteously If it is so untrue why is it the fastest growing chruch in the world-so there! - 04/19/2000 - anon

Church of Make Enough Converts and We Can Have Lots of Wives. - 07/17/2000 - anon

"The Church of So There"!
Deseret (or True Believing Mormon) phrase meaning "I dont like what you say, I have made a statement contradicting it, and thats the last I want to hear of it. THE THINKING HAS BEEN DONE! So There!" - 05/05/2000 - anon

The Chruch That's The Waive of the Future? - 04/20/2000 - John D Lee

The Church of The Everchanging Doctrine and History---Defect Upon Defect , Lie Upon Lie - 04/15/2000 - John D. Lee

The Church of the Arrogant Men and the Crying Women and the Poor Little Kids Who Have to Endure All This Nonsense - 04/15/2000 - A Recent First Time Visitor To A Testimony Meeting

The Church of the "You show me your peep stone and I'll show you my big Urim and Thummim" - 04/09/2000 - anon

The Church of the Infallible "We can do no wrong" Men - 04/09/2000 - anon

The Rocky Horror Picture Show Religion - 04/07/2000 - John D. Lee

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Scam Artists!! - 04/06/2000 - anon

The Church of Of Jesus Christ of Latter Day and no free thought!!! - 04/06/2000 - anon

The Church of Of Jesus Christ of Lazy Dumb Saints!!! - 04/06/2000 - anon

I Can't Believe It's Not Doctrine - 04/05/2000 - anon

Church for the Crocks - 04/05/2000 - anon

The Organization of People Who Don't Like To Think For Themselves - 04/05/2000 - anon

The Everchanging Church of Joey Smith and the Planet Kolob - 03/24/2000 - John D. Lee

The Church of What's Happening Now - 03/12/2000 - Flip Wilson (submitted vicariously from beyond the veil)

Gordon's Big-Top - 02/28/2000 - Brigham Smith

Crutch of the Ladderly Sandwiches - 02/24/2000 - Lady DB

The Church of Jesus Christ of the Family Owned Corporation - 02/09/2000 - anon

Church of Narcissus of Self-righteous Saints - 02/09/2000 - anon

Church of First Presidency's Vault of Latter-day Secrets - 02/09/2000 - anon

4M Corporation (Mighty Mormon Money Machine) - 02/05/2000 - light@xx.com

The LD$ Church - 02/05/2000 - anon

My Wonderful New Religion - 02/04/2000 - Adolph Hitler--Recently accepted Mormonism after being baptized for the dead in the London temple.

L.D.S. = Logical Discussions Silenced - 02/04/2000 - John D. Lee

L.D.S. = Lucifer's Decietful Servants - 02/04/2000 - Gabriel

L.D.S. = Lucifer's Dedicated Servants - 02/04/2000 - anon

L.D.S. = Lucifer's Devout Simpletons - 02/04/2000 - Gabriel

L.D.S. = Luciferian Demonworship Sanitized - 02/03/2000 - Gabriel

L.D.S. = Legalized Druid Satanworship - 02/01/2000 - Ed Decker

L.D.S. = Legal Disgusting Sacrilege - 02/01/2000 - Abraham Lincoln

L.D.S. = Lemmings Die Suddenly - 02/01/2000 - J.C.

L.D.S. = Light and Delightsome Suckers - 02/01/2000 - Joey

L.D.S. = Lemmings Doing Sundays - 02/01/200 - Victoria

L.D.S. = Lemmings Drink Secretly - 02/01/2000 - Word of Wisdom

L.D.S. = Lemmings Don't Snivel ......OR ELSE! - 02/01/2000 - Boyd KKK Packer

"We're going on a lemming hunt, doo-dah, doo-dah." - 01/31/2000 - Joseph Smith and Brigham Young

The Church of the Gullible Little Lemmings and Their Ugly Underwear - 01/30/2000 - Victoria

Joey said it, I believe it, and that settles it. Now where's my ugly underwear! - 01/31/2000 - Gullible Little Lemming

The Church That's Easy To Make Fun Of - -1/30/2000 - Matt

"TREE" Davidian - 12/29/1999 - Brigham Smith

Heaven's Driveway - 12/29/1999 - Brigham Smith

Heaven's "Other" Gate - 12/29/1999 - Brigham Smith

Victoria's Secrets' Worst Nightmare - 12/19/1999 - Emma

Cult of the Coffee Hating,Underwear Fetish,of Utah. - 12/16/1999 - elder-ess victoria and the secret

The Mountain Meadows Church of Unconditional Love, Tolerance,and Forgiveness - 12/16/1999 - John D Lee

The Church of Donnie and Marie and the Wierd Underwear From Kolob - 12/15/1999 - Elder Jones

Joey Smith and the Snowjob From Kolob - 12/13/1999 - John D. Lee

The Scam of Joey Smith on Latter Day Suckers -12/12/1999 - Brigham Jones

THE L.D.S., A NON PROPHET ORGANIZATION - 12/11/1999 - John D. Lee

The Church of the Ever So Gullible,White and Delightsome Stuck Up Snobs - 12/11/1999 - John D. Lee

The Cult of Joseph Smith and Latter Day Conartists - 12/11/1999 - True Gospel

The Cult of Brigham Young and LatterDay Polygamists - 12/11/1999 - True Gospel

The Cult of Jospeh Smith and Latter-day False Prophets - 12/11/1999 - True Gospel

The Church of Gee Such Crisis of Latter-day Stats - 12/07/1999 - cricket

The Church of "too late, he was pronounced dead at the scene . . . . no matter, do you have any water?" - 12/04/1999 - Jeff

The Church of " you will believe, because we will baptize you for the dead, when you die . . . there will be no escape!" - 12/04/1999 - Jim

The Church of "How many wives do you think I will get if I join?" - 12/04/1999 - Jim

The International Church of Seagull poop. - 12/04/1999 - Jim

The Church of "I want to be a religous leader and a polygamist . . . so I will make up a religion . . how does latter day saints sound?" - 12/04/1999 - Jim

The Church of "boy was I wrong" - 12/04/1999 - Jim

The Church of "I can't wait to become a white and delightsome God" - 12/04/1999 - Jim

The Church of "Which ones my mommy?" - 12/04/1999 - Jim

The Church of "You just committed adultery? . . . . cut your throat" - 12/04/1999 - Jim

The Church of "Submit now ... or die" - 12/04/1999 - Jim

The Church of "We do not practice polygamy ..... on earth" - 12/04/1999 - Jim

GODS 'R' US - 12/02/1999 - John D. Lee

The Cult of Joey Smith and the Ever Changing Gospel - 12/02/1999 - John D. Lee

The Church of Our Lives - in this episode: Gary has to go on a mission to realize he's gay; Bo and Amanda get married because they're horny; and Bishop Williams gets caught in his office with the Relief Society president under his desk. Stay tuned. - 10/18/1999 - anon

The Church of Sata... oops, I mean of Jesus Christ of Latter-day demo... oops, I mean saints 10/13/1999 - Jim

The Church of Pretty White People(and only pretty white people(we are not prejudice(however we don't let non whites attend our church(unless they turn white)))- 10/13/1999 - Jim

The one and only and only one really really extremely completely exclusively without a doubt (it really is the only one and only) true church of Jesus Christ and of Joseph Smith and of Brigham Young and of some guy named Tom - 10/13/1999 - Jim

The Generic Church of Jesus Christ of Mainstreamed Saints - 10/13/1999 - cricket

Bored of Ejaculators of the Copulation of the Resident of the Skirts of Geezer Shyste of Bladder Spray Stains.- 10/06/1999 - Blash

Brigham and Joseph's Three Degrees of Glory Circus - Greatest Snowjob On Earth - 10/05/1999 - anon

The Church of Jesus Christ of Mini-vans and SUVs - 09/26/1999 - Matt

The Church of "Hey mom, I'm pregnant, and he was a black man - 09/26/1999 - Matt

The Church of Monty Python of Latter Day Saints - 09/26/1999 - Matt

The Church of Jesus Christ of Anti-Anti Mormons - 09/23/1999 - Elder Jim

The Church of Anonymous Anonymous' - 09/23/1999 - Elder Jim

The Church of "we're christian's too, but christians are wrong - 09/23/1999 - Elder Jim

The Church or Latter-day Mattresses - 09/09/1999 - db

The Church of Joseph Smith of Let's Pretend - 09/09/1999 - anon

The Cult of Joseph Smith's Latter-day Scam - 09/06/1999 - Brigham Smith

The Church of Jesus Christ of A-Laugh-A-Day Saints. - 09/04/1999 - Robert B

The Church of the Holy Joke - 08/31/1999 - anon

Think-In-Sync, Inc - 08/31/1999 - MaKolob

The Brigham and Joe Show - 0830/1999 - brother xxx

Beavis and Butthead do the Temple - a brother xxx

The Church of the Burning Bosom - 08/24/1999 - Brad

The Church of Cheesy Poofs - 08/24/1999 - Brad

The Church of macaroni and cheesy testimonies - anon

The Church of the forerunner of the other wacko cults. - 08/24/1999 - Brad

The Church of "Hey, we're christians too" - 08/24/1999 - Brad

The Church of "I believe what?" - 08/24/1999 - Brad

The Church of "I'm supposed to believe what?" - 08/24/1999 - Brad

The Chuch of Ronald McDonald of Latter Day Happy Meals - 08/20/1999 - Elder Jim

The One and only true Church, Inc. est. 1849 - 08/20/1999 - Elder Jim

The Church of Latter Day Pharisees - 08/20/1999 - Elder Jim

The Church of Judas Iscariot of Latter Day Traitors - 08/20/1999 - Elder Jim

Hitler's Restored Gospel - 08/20/1999 - Elder Jim

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Satanists - 08/19/1999 - Matt

Amway, Inc. -08/19/1999 - Matt

Church of The Latter-Day Analites - 08/16/1999 - anon

Church of the 501(c)3 Latter-day Tax Exempts - anon

The Church of Jesus Christ, Lime-Jello - 08/10/1999 - anon

The Church of Joe Smith of Latter-day Irrational Thinkers - 08/06/1999 - Theodore

International Society of Underwear Gnomes (Reformed) - 07/30/1999 - dionyseus

The Church of Cheez Whiz and Crisps and Shepherds Pie - 07/29/1999 - anon

Hey Joe, I said PAPER PLATES!!! - 07/20/1999 - anon

Hey Martha, fetch my gun. - 07/20/1999 - anon

Greenbacks R Us - 07/20/1999 - anon

Pope-Nope...Prophet-PROFIT! - 07/20/1999 - anon

There goes the neighborhood! - 07/20/1999 - anon

Mormoney Church - 07/11/1999 - anon

The Church of Je$u$ Chri$t of Latter-day $aints. 07/10/1999 - Robert

No Need For Grace...We're Lost in Space! - 07/03/1999 - anon

No Need For Jesus...We Got B.K. P_CKER! - 07/03/1999 - anon

No Need For Appoligies..Were Perfect! - 07/03/1999 - anon

The Pirch of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Chickens - 06/28/1999 - anon

The Church of "God help us when Darth Packer takes over" of Latter-day Stains - 04/27/1999 - pould@close-inspection

The Church of "You Believe WHAT???" - 05/21/1999 - anon

The make it up as you go Church of Jesus Christ of some Very Successful Saints because you never see Janitors as Steak Presidents - 05/16/1999 - anon

The Cult of Joe Smith and His Magick Glasses - 05/06/1999 - jlaitres

The Church of Worldwide Femimine Re-pression - 05/06/1999 - jlaitres

The International Church of Do-gooders - 05/06/1999 - jlaitres

The Church of Joseph Smith (International) Inc. - 05/03/1999 - Al.Bundy

The Church of the Cult of the Planet Kalob Inc. - 05/03/1999 - Al.Bundy

The Curse of Joseph Smith of Latter-Day Something-or-other Thingys - 05/03/1999 - Al.Bundy

Whoops I Goofed Church - 05/03/1999 - Al.Bundy

Beam Me Up Scotty Church - 05/03/1999 - Al.Bundy

The Church of Never-Day Aints of Trader Joe - 05/02/1999 - BT

The Five Star Pentagram Church - 05/03/1999 - Al.Bundy

The Corporation of Jesus Christ - 05/02/1999 - anon

The Church of Never-Day Aints of Trader Joe - 05/02/1999 - BT

The Church of MLM (multi level marketers) Sisters, do you want to stay home with your children and still earn a living. I have a wonderful opportunity for you. - 04/26/1999 - anon

Jesus Wept - 04/20/1999 - Blashoodaloom

The Smurf of Jizz 'n Spice and Splatter Sprayed Stains - 04/20/1999 - Blashoodaloom

I Can't Believe It's Not Truth - 04/20/1999 - Blashoodaloom

Honey, I Shrunk the Truth - 04/20/1999 - Blashoodaloom

World Domination, Inc. - 04/20/1999 - Blashoodaloom

The Church of Jesus (who) Might Later Decide Somthin' Else -04/19/1999 - Thomas Jefferson, now in the Celestial Kingdom due to his baptism for the dead

The Convoluted Sacred Underwear Cult - 04/04/1999 - Jeffrey

The Church of Cheese&Rice of RattleySnakes - 04/01/1999 - MaKolob

The Magic Underwear Cult - 04/01/1999 - LightnLov

The Church of Joseph's Cult of Latter Day Aint's - 03/30/1999 - anon

The Church of Jesus Christ of Rattle Day Snakes - 03/28/1999 - anon

The Church Of Sheets And Lice Of Laughter Driven Skanks - 03/26/1999 - anon

The Cult of Jerry Springer and Little Brained Sleaze - 03/26/1999 - anon

The Church of Cheesy Creeps with Little Dip Sticks - 03/26/1999 - anon

International Jell-O Society - 03/19/1999 - anon

Church of Unreal Dults - 03/19/1999 - anon

The Shirts of Jesus Christ of Ladder Days Stained - Ill Wind - 03/03/1999

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Sinners - cricket - 03/01/1999

The Church of Jesus Christ of Late-nite Scandals - cricket - 03/01/1999

The Church of Beavis Christ of Laudable Damn Scoundrels - cricket - 03/01/1999

LDS or Mormon Church Announces Name Change Contest

04/10/2008 - Primus

AP- Pepper Pond City, Utard

In an effort to distance themselves from any associates with the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, another branch of the Church started by Joseph Smith Jr., in 1830 has announced plans to change their name.

I met with Bishop Rood, Assistant Church Spokesman and asked what the plan for renaming the Church was.

"Well during this time or misunderstanding about the relationship between our Church and the Fundamentalist Church, we have tried to keep ourselves separated, however, the news community is too stupid to follow our news announcement, and the 1st Presidency is to timid to get into a slander suit with any of the major news media. Cowards, all of them. Anyways, so Monson went to the Lord in prayer and asked him what we should do."

"And what did the Lord tell Monson to do?" I asked.

"Well Monson was on his throne reading the Children's Friend when the idea hit him that much like the Churches art contest that is held each year, we should have a contest to rename the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints."

"So how has the response been so far?"

"The members have really come to the aid of the prophet, showing the great courage and valor of the members. We have received hundreds of ideas for names and have finally narrowed it down to 10."

"Can I see them?"

"Yes, they will be printed in the Deseret News for the members to vote on soon, but here you go." Bishop Rood handed me the list.

Here they are. Each is an official name, and a new 'nickname' to replace the term Mormon.

The Church of Joseph Smith of Latter-Day Saints, the Almas

The TWOOH Church, the Nephites

The Community of Christ (Latter removed because of copyright infringements)

That Church in Utah, the Brighamites

The Church of Jesus Christ of the Real, NOT PHONY, Latter-Day Saints, the REAL Non-Polygamous Mormons

The Fortune 500 Church, the well Endowed

The Church of Jesus Christ, Superstars

and Tommy's Church, the Monsons

Submissions will be accepted until a new name is chosen by the 1st Presidency and 12 Apostles.

Comments Section

*Sighs* First off, I'd like to say that I am sorry if an LDS member wronged you in some way that would make you look at the entire religion with such ignorance and dislike. Please, find a way to do something that will make you have a positive effect on you because whatever pent up negative feelings you have towards the LDS faith will most likely only hurt you in the end rather than them. If you truly believe these things that you listed above, then I suppose we'll just have to accept it. I still wish all the best of luck in all of your future endeavors (hopefully something more productive than this particular site) and I hope that you can keep moving forward. -4/20/10 - 04/20/2010 - LDS Member

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So why did America spawn the wack-job Xtian religions?

The Amish and Hutterites and the like tend to leave the rest of us alone, and the mainline Protestants are kind of on the dour side, but dress nice and know Robert's Rules of Order.

But the 19th century American creations are kind of out there, and all have sort of an MLM feel to them.

Then there is Scientology, which is in a class by itself. A deliberate fraud right from the get-go, with Mork and Mindy theology, and still some nitwits fall for it. - 10/24/2009 - winter

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LDS-LSD = what's the difference? - 10/23/2009 - by Handmaiden

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If you accept Webster's definition of hypocrite (1 : a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion 2 : a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings) then everyone of us are hypocrites if we believe in goodness, respect, fairness and happiness. We have all said and done things that hurt ourselves and others when we act against our beliefs or values. It's been said that hurt people, hurt people. Perhaps that's why some of you find it useful to mock other's beliefs in a forum like this. We like it when we find others who think and feel like we do. So if Mormons want to practice their faith to improve themselves, fine. Do you really think this negativity supports your values and brings you peace? How about finding more positive things to focus on? - 10/10/2009 - Jim

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I am the Very Joseph Smith Re-incarnated, and if you really love as your lord and savisour you would leave this site immediately, and go fish out your life savings and make them payable to

c/o Mr Avery Chicoine
#111-3215 Prevost Pl
Duncan BC
v9l 5g5
Canada

that is all for now .. and thank jesus u have me .. instead of some horrible tyrant - 04/30/2008 - smackthat9876@hotmail.com - The Latter-Day Prophet and returned

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The church of people who think you are all losers for wasting your time making fun of someone else's beliefs. - 02/28/2008 - sarah

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You are all losers to pick on someone like the mormons. Were you picked on alot in school? Now you have to make fun of something you dont seem to know much about?? - 11/28/2007 - anon

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seriously;i agree with the person above me;

1-you know nothing of the church,therefore should say nothing about it

2-if you really want to know information,why dont you go to your local church,and ask some questions.they will be more than willing to help you and 3rd-dont waste your time with this outrageous website,its not going to get you anywhere - 07/27/2007 - anon

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THE CHUCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER DAY SAINTS that is the name and it will stick!

I am so.....!YOU PEOPLE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT I KNOW THIS CHURCH IS THE ONLY TRUE CHURCH ON THE WHOLE WORLD!!!! STOP YOUR LIES OR YOU WILL HAVE A SERIS OF PROBLEMS!!! AND THAT GOES TO ALL OF YOU !!!!WHY DON'T YOU TRY TO OPEN YOUR HEARTS,AND ACTUALY LEARN GOOD THINGS!!!!!!!!!! - 05/03/2007 - M N

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I feel sory for all of you that feel this way. - 07/31/2006 - lds mem.

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one day myself or mine have accepted it. but then, club kolob is for the suckers. whose number i will no longer be among.

personally, i would rather take my own path. Jesus gave us but ONE commandment- love one another- and if we follow that basic prerogative, then the rest are unnecessary. why would i WANT to remain with a church that believes i require over 300 commandments? and why would i want to appease a "loving" god who thinks i need that many? if my God and Goddess think i'm an idiot, they shouldn't have created me. and if your god thinks i am one, then why would he want me?!

please. if you are pro-lds, i am all for that... for YOU. please keep it on your side of the fence, and i won't go about on your favourite pro sites trying to un-convert you from lds and convert you to spiritual pagan christianity. nice conversing. please now return to your hole.

to everyone else... loving it. keep it up!!!! - 07/26/2006 - I believe in the Lady and the Lord- equal and essential one to the other.

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None of this "obey" or "above" rubbish.

How many of you have actually experienced the LDS religion? I hope you all have because if you haven't, you're unfairly judging something. I don't have some crazy, mean, disrespectful name to put down, although I am half tempted to but what would that really accomplish? Nothing! It would just be stooping down to a really low level, and i'm better than that.

I'm a ninth grader and at the end of my eighth grade year, kids in my school all had registration cards to fill out. My friend checked SEMINARY in permanent black marker on my card. I was mad, and still am. Today she wrote me a note during a class and said, "Aren't you so happy that I checked SEMINARY off on your card!?" I replied with, " I'm not really fully happy that i'm in seminary because it kind of goes against my beliefs, but oh well. I've learned a lot! I can now judge it fairly because i've actually gone. I think your relgion is fine but it's just not for me. Some things are too far-fetched for me to believe. Sometimes I feel that some people of your relgion put Joseph Smith before God and I don't like that. I was taught that there is NO book better or more true than the Bible and that NO ONE or NO THING is better or higher than God. I don't believe that you should have to get married in the Temple and wear garments to be a "good" person. When I moved to this city, in the fifth grade, the first question I was asked was, " What ward are you in?" I said I wasn't in one and wasn't LDS. That person never spoke to me again. She wasn't the only person to look down on me because i'm not LDS. I think all people, no matter their religion, should be treated equally. Mormons, not all, are usually just hypocritical and rude. I don't want to be a part of that.

The LDS relgion is fine. I will treat it with respect just as I do every other relgion. But I am sick and tired of being judged because I'm not LDS. I've lived in Utah my whole life and I've grown up around Mormons. They're not bad people.. just very hypocritical.

My dad is LDS my mom is Catholic. When my dad and mom were dating, my dad's aunts would always call my mom the "no good skinny catholic girl" Now my dad's aunts had all been married off in the Temple and they were garment wearers and they were "good people" Well if they were so good... then why did they call my mom such names? I don't know what the LDS people are taught in those LONG meetings they have every Sunday but from what I see and hear everyday, it's not very nice and I think they're taught to look down on everyone who isn't of their relgion and it must start from a young age. One Sunday morning my family and I were going four-wheeling when my little neighbor at the age of 4 came out and said "YOU'RE ALL GONNA GO TO HELL!!" at FOUR years old he is saying this stuff! I think that's ridiculous.

A few years ago, my friends mom was raped by and LDS man. My friends mom was x comminicated from the church but the man was allowed to stay. How unjust is that!? The man said that the way my friends mother dressed just called him upon her and she wanted him to do it. I think that's wrong. It's just male domination.

I am really sick of living here in Utah because the LDS people have just made it hell on earth. - 02/02/2006 - 14 and sick and tired of being judged

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The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Please learn it. One day you or yours will accept it. - 01/28/2006 - anon

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The church that murdured women and children at The Mountain Meadows Massacre (over 100) and then tried to blame it on the indians.(Its o.k. though because they were later baptized for the dead.Thats what they get for being Anti's)

The church of the magically disapearing archaeological / historical evidence.(It all must have been raptured like Joey's golden plates.Or it could be another diabolical plot by the Anti's)

The church of the false prophet of God who can't even tell when someone is selling the church fake documents.(Salamander letters,Book of Abraham papyrii,Kinderhook plates,Book of Mormon)

The church of "Hey,lets keep all our wierd early church history stuff locked away in our vault so that nobody can see how wacko we really are" - 12/16/1999 - John D. Lee

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I think you all need a reality check. You obviously no nothing about the Church of Jesus Christ of Ladder Day Saints. You've already shown your stupidity and ignorance on the subject. What does Beavis and Jerry Springer have to do with them? This is a poor excuse for a webpage! Don't you have a life? - 06/23/1999 - anon

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