Assuming that the Book of Mormon was the most correct of any book ever published was an accurate history of the Americas I gleefully departed for Washington D.C. and the museum dedicated to the lives of Lamanites.
In November 2009 I even booked a flight on the official airlines of the Lamanites with headquarters among their own reservations in the south west portion of the Promised Land.
I felt secure as Angel Moroni flying about the heavens with Southwest Airlines's latest flight technology, LIAHONA (Lamanites In Aviation Handling Onboard Navigation Automatically) guiding the pilots.
I was sure that the state-of-the-art museum on all things Lamanite would surely contain many exhibits regarding:
Book of Mormon war and conquest stories where Lamanites actually win most of the battles.
The Indian Student Placement Program as a cultural refinement process for thousands of young Native Americans.
The Lamanite Generation Mormon-multi-media extravaganza.
A scale model of the New Jerusalem in Jackson County, Missouri and it's temple to be built by Lamanites in the last days.
George P. Lee Center for Token Lamanite Leadership Among White and Delightsome General Authorities.
Barge Building Societies who floated from the Middle East to the New World.
Exoneration of Paiute Indians being perpetrators of the Mountain Meadow Massacre by Gordon B Hinckley.
Imagine my surprise when after searching high and low through all four levels of this Smithsonian Museum I could locate not a single subject, person or object with the label "Lamanite."
The Book of Mormon was not only missing but not even mentioned in any of the exhibits.
How could the curators have ignored statements from the true prophets of God on their real identities as Lamanites?
How could the curators overlook the art work of Arnold Friberg depicting their ancestors with such anatomically correct images?
How could the curators have the nerve to officially omit native Hawaiians who descended from the Lamanite Hagoth from the exhibitions?
How could the curators turn down President Thomas S Monson's offered to staff the museum with full time volunteer female Mormon missionaries of dark skin who just may be actual Lamanites themselves?
Back when I was still TBM (True Believing Mormon) my wife and I visited the Mayan ruins at Tulum, Mexico. It was a great trip, but that pesky local tour guide said that some people believe that the Native Americans came from Hebrew lineage, but scientists say that the Native Americans came over the land bridge thousands of years ago, and are descendents of Asian people, and even have the Mongloid spot. He even said that he had one when he was little. What a jerk. What did he know about the "true" origins of his people. Poor confused guy.
My anthropology teacher also explained the scientific excuse for North American populations, and how the Mormons believed that there were red and white Jews running around America hundreds of years ago. Well, I set him straight. I wrote a firm letter to him explaining how us Mormons didn't believe the Native Americans were Jews, but definitely Hebrew. He should be respectful in his depiction of these things, because some people believe them.
I hereby officially apologize to the local tour guide and to my anthropology teacher for being the know-it-all that I was. I've been humbled by the truth. - 12/03/2009 - changed Man
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