New Name That Tune - Zion Perfection Performers

Tempting titles for the songs of Zion and the performers. Please submit your favorite tunes and performers in the box below.

Songs In the Key of Mormon

02/12/2010 - by Maria and others from Recovery from Mormonism

Twisted Sister - We're Not Gonna Spank It

Black Sabbath - Ward Pigs

Bee Gees - Payin' Your Tithe

Paul Revere & The Raiders - Lamanite Nation

Deep Purple - Curse On The Water

Frank Sinatra - Visions In The Night

Talking Heads - Burning In The Bosom - by Maria

Aretha Franklin - I Say a Temple Prayer For You. - by flattopSF

The Hollies - Long Cool Woman in a Temple Dress - by Used2Bdoxi

The Beatles - Restoration 9 - by Maria

This cult is bananas, b a n a n a s, this cult is bananas. Gwen Stephani - by 6 iron

Queen - "WE WILL, WE WILL STALK YOU" - by Bob T Mail Address:

Susan Boyle "I Dreamed a Nightmare" - by Topper

Exmormon rock band names

05/12/2005 - by Shakey and others from Recovery from Mormonism

Anyone have funny ideas for exmormon rock band names? Here are a couple of my ideas.

The Fanny Alger Project

Peep Stoned

The Anti-knee-high-levi's

The Anti-knee-high-levis : Sounds like a Brand of Pantyhose! - by wine country girl

Brodies abortions by vegasbright

The BloodaTones - by Concrete Zipper

How about instad of Buddy Holly and the Crickets, we have Gordon Hinkley and the Parrots? - by earplugs

The Rolling Peepstones, The Kinderhookers, Blind Faith (oh wait that's taken)... - by Gary B.

JosephScamsWorld (like JimmyEatsWorld) - by Alison_is_free

Korihor's Revenge - by Big Drummer Boy

Helamonster - by Helamonster. I hereby give permission to an exmo band (cool one only) to use my screen name.

NoMo and the Tavernacle Barstools with Da BOM and Snoop Bishop Rick - by PossiblyPagan

Boy Joseph and the Moneydiggers by Larry Bud

Slippery Treasure Which is also a good name for a racehorse or a stripper. - by Skunk Puppet

Pay Lay Ale Pay Lay Ale would be a great name. If anyone asks what it means, say it is too sacred to talk about. One of your songs would have to be "We will go down."

The Peep Stones

The Cureloms

Laban's Head


Jared and his Brothers (especially for a black band)

D&C 132 - by dick

Emma-not-a-M (member,Mormon,moron whatever...keep em guessing)


Emma's Priesthood


Emma's Wives

Emma Young

Brigham Emma

Rigging Emma


Gorgon Monsoon Faustus

The New Name Stones - by Cats


Huey Lewis & The Deseret News

Back in Time (...for Fireside)
The Bosum of Rock & Roll
Workin' for a Livin'...PROPHET
Doing It All For My Bishop
Do You Believe in Joe
Bosum & Soul
Stuck With You (...'cause you wont let me OUT!)
I Want a New Church - 02/13/2005 - from Brigham Smith

"Salamnder Letter 22" - 02/13/2005 - from The Elders Johnson

Anti-morg* rock band names

10/08/2004 - by Tal Bachman and other from Recovery from Mormonism
* morg = derogatory for LDS Church

1.) AdamGod

2.) Fig Leaf Apron (FLA)

3.) Enish-go-on-Dosh (the "EGODs" for short)

4.) Seer Stoner

5.) White Salamander

6.) The Communist Negroes (ET Benson tie-in) (my personal favorite)

7.) The Asian Israelites

8.) The Limited Intelligence Theory (LIT) (FARMS tie-in)

9.) Not Official Church Doctrine (NOCD)

10.) The Little Factories

11.) The Idunno's (GBH tie-in)

12.) The Mor-wellians

13.) Since your frontman is Latino, you could do a BOM tie-in and consider "Filthy and Loathsome";

14.) Also, I'd consider stealing "Kolobotomy" from the exmo board...

The Magic World View, The Lemmings, The Danites, Rigdon's Raiders, Joe's Brothers Can't Shoot Straight, Mountain Meadows Murderers, Bednars and Broomsticks, Give Said the Crossing Streams, Jesus's Sunbeams. - by Kolobkremedonuts

I know...The GodHead - by brainwashed no more

Or Adam Dog by Cattle Mutilator

The Living Prophets, The Three Witlesses, The Council of Fifty, Wife No. 19, Saturday's Fence-Sitters - by Randy J.

Right Arm to the Squares, The Embowelers, The Slashers, The Melchezdicks, Chronic Saints, Pimp my Priesthoods - by Saucie

Slash and Burn - by Susan D.

Koriwhores - by Noble_N_Great

Fanny Alger, Trek, Fielding, The Lard, Wheat Buckets, The Cureloms, Green Gordy, White Shirts - by Franz

Brighams Concubines...The Modern Day Prophets...Revelation for our Day... Follow the Prophets...The Great and Spacious Builders...Words of Wisdom...The Temple Squares...The Dead Baptizers...Sealed for Eternity...The Eternal Procreators...Worlds Without Number...The Telestial Playboys...Following the Plan...Consecrators and Dedicators...All Those who Partake...Joey, Brig, Spence and Gordo...The Spawn of Laman. - by HereYaGo

Latter-Day Aint's - by NumLock

Masters of Puppets, The Aaronic Anal Retenters,Hinckley's Harlots, John Lee and the Killers, Bachman Tithpaying Overdrive (Sorry, Tal, just had to do it! :>) - by Leggy

Strength in the Loins (and in the sinews)- by howd

Rocks in a Hat, The Flaming Swords - by Susan D.

Blood Atonement, Meadow Mountain - by theflyonthewall

Naked Moroni, Laban's Head, The Smell of Shiz, Nasty Brothers of Jared, Sacred Finger, Signs and Tokens, M.I.S.S. (Morons in Smith's Service), The B.I.B.S. (B*stards in Brigham's Service), The Bloody Oaths, Oath of Vengeance, Twisted Prophets, Bishop Snow and the Castrators. I like "Pay, Lay and Ale". These are the things that many rockers desire.... - by Beaujolais Joe

The Deiter Tones, Bednars Boyz, Get Bent Hinkley (GBH for short) *snort*, Journal of Discourses, by I'll buy your first CD

Kinderhook, by fooled40years

Lyin' for the lard, Latter-day profits, CK slackers, CTR Zombies, Garmie Wedgies, Holy Smoke and Mirrors. - by Lost no more

Better than Ezra Taff Bensen - by code name Nadia

Kori-Ho's and Necro Dunked - by CTR no more

Bumpy Bednar Breasts, Bouncy Bednar Breasts - RG

Ziffsword" after the imaginary metal, Ziff from the BofM - by Dark Sparks

Apostasy by red

The Everlasting Godstoppers - by anon

The Funeral Potatoes, Green Jello Casserole, Joseph's Magic Hat, The X-Mo's, Great Drops of Chud, The Stripping Warriors, And It Came to Pass, Ezra F. Hinckley, The Priesthood Holders, The Dead Lamanites, The Nephri's, The Faith Promoting Rumors - by oxbow

Boyds in the Hood, The Gadianton Slobbers, Polyg-R-Us, Elohim and Eloher, The Gordianton Robbers. Cleon and the Kolobmeisters. The Kinderhookers. Dead Handcart Kids. Boyd Vicious and the Sex Bristles, Ezra Tee and the Conspirators, Cleon Skousen and the Naked Communalists, Pimpus Knight and the Glads, Big Eyes Knight and the Peeps - by cricket

Fornicating Mollies - by Molly no-mo

Combining two names: "Give Said the Little Factory" - by Gordon K Packer

Gerry Lafferty: Mission to Mission

Temple Street
Right Down the GA Line
Get (The Prophecy) Right This Time
Home-Taught and Dry - 04/17/2004 - from Brigham Smith

Anne of Murray

Gordy's Song
You Wont See the Temple
Just Another RM In Love
You Offended Me
I Just Fall In Love Again (Lyrics by J. Smith)
Somebody's Always Saying "Pay Lay Ale"
Could I Have This Recommend
Vision Believer
Over You (and your church)
Blessed Are The Deceivers - 11/14/2003 - from BrighamSmith

"Kneel By Your Man" - 11/01/2003 - from Mollie Wynett

At the Gateway to Zion, there are "THE DOORS" - 09/06/2003 - anon

The MO-tles

Produced by Brigham Smith - 09/09/2003

"The White (& Delightsome) Album \ Copy-RITE 1868

1) Back in the U.S.-UTAH
2) Dear Prude
3) The Continuing Revelation of Bungalow Brigham
4) While My G.A. Bluntly Speaks
5) Happiness is a Warm Bosum
6) Molly My Dear
7) BlackSheep
8) Mishies
9) Why Dont We Do It in Provo
10) I Will (or Suffer The Penalty)
11) Mister Bater's Son
12) Un-Sexy Sadie
13) Packer Whacker
"When I get to the bottom I go back to the top..."
"I got blisters on my fingers!"
14) MO-Blah-Dee MO-Blah-Duh
"Peter is an R-M down at BYU
Mollie wants her M-R-S degree
Peter says to Mollie: "Do you KNOW your place!
And Mollie says yes as she gazes at his 'g's"


MO-Blah-Dee MO-Blah-Duh, bow your head, yes
See the Mormon life go on
MO-Blah-Dee MO-Blah-Duh, Pay Lay Ale, yes
How the Mormon life goes on

In a couple of years they have built a Midvale Home
With a couple of kids running in the yard
Of Elder and Mollie Jones

Happy ever after down at Zion's Bank
Peter thinks he's got the inside track
Before she goes to meetings Mollie does her face
And afterwards she will get blitzed on her
Prozac! HEYY...

Chorus repeat:

And if you want some fun,
Be L-D-S, Well-DUH, yeah


Marie Osmond: "Meet Me in MO-Tana" - "...I want to feel the garments on your thighs..." - 07/25/2003 - anon

The Doors (of Zion)

From The CD "Strange WAYS"

Light My Bosum
Dunk Me Two Times
Bike Riders Of The Storm
People Are Strange (...When You're In Utah)
Hello, Let's Dunk You...
(...Wont You Tell Me Your Name)
Provo Woman
Temple-Door Man
Nineteenth Century Fox
The End (of my testimony) - 05/29/2003 - Produced by Brigham Smith

from ZZzz Testimony

"Im TBM, Ive Been Good, Salt Lake City, Mollywood" - 05/17/2003 - anon

ZZ Testimony From the CD "DesereTEJAS"

Jesus Just Left Provo (Got expelled for facial hair)
I'm TBM, I'm Nationwide
Sharp-Dressed RM (Every Molly's Crazy 'bout...)
Heard It On KSL
Give Me All Your Tithing - 05/10/2003 - from Brigham Smith

Delightsome Floyd: "The Dark Side of Kolob" - 11/24/2002 - from Mo-Lygamous

"Open Your Hymn-book to me" - 08/03/2002 - anon

Dylan does Mormon Hymns

06/03/2002 - created by Stray Mutt of the Recovery Bulletin Board

Positively Temple Street

Like a Rolling Stone Cut from the Mountain

Ain't Going to Work on the Welfare Farm No More

Interstate 15 Revisited

My Hidden Pages

Upper Room Homesick Blues

Leopard Skin Garments

Tangled Up in Lies

If Not for Joe

Just Like a Molly

Boyd is Just a Four Letter Word - 06/04/2002 - Lillith of Recovery Bulletin Board

Variations of...

06/03/2002 - created by Casio of the Recovery Bulletin Board

Quinn the Exmo (the Mighty Quinn)
(A variation of Quinn the Eskimo)

The Doctrines, They Are A-Changin'
(An adaptation of The Times, They Are A-Changin')>

Don't Think Twice, It's Just a Couplet (And It's All Right)
(An adaptation of Don't Think Twice, It's All Right)

She Belongs to Me (And Brigham)
(An adaptation of She Belongs to Me)

You Ain't Goin' Nowhere (Without Those Handshakes)
(An adaptation of You Ain't Goin' Nowhere)

Lie, Leader, Lie (Upon My Big Brass Podium)
(An adaptation of lay, lady, lay)

I Shall Be Released (It's About Time)
(An adaptation of I Shall Be Released)

I'll Be Your Bishop Tonight
(An adaptation of I'll Be Your Baby Tonight)

Mr. Golden Plates Man
(An adaptation of Mr. Tambourine Man)

All The Tired Morgbots
(An adaptation of All The Tired Horses)

Tell Me That It Isn't True
(No adaptation necessary)

Tedd's Testimony Tunes & Teasers

05/23/2002 - created by Tedd of the Recovery Bulletin Board

"Come, Come, ye saints"

Come, Come ye saints, for once just try a beer; but with guilt you won't sway. Though wrong to you this beverage may appear, guzzle you will, one fine day. Tis better far for us to drink, than be to so anal making a stink!

Do this and joy your bellies will swell- All is well, all is well.

"Now let us rejoice"

Now let us rejoice in the day of demolition. No longer inane on the earth need we roam. Good night to all bullshit from the cult to each nation, and shortly the hour of deliverance will come. When all that was promised will never be given, and nothing they said has never ever come true. And the earth will appear as a new generation, and everyone will say "to your brains come back home"!

"The spirit of God"

The spirit of fraud like a tire is Turing; the latter-day story begins to come forth. Same revisions, and blessings are old and not working, and people are starting to see the real truth.
We'll sing and we'll shout with all fellow ex-Mormons, Hosanna, hosanna, to free thought and light. Let the story be shed, no illusion be given, hence forth and forever All women, and all men!

"I need thee every hour"

The cult has too much power, but most will not say.
The truth that we have found, as ex-mo's we speak plain
Don't feed me, please don't feed me, you always do deceive me
Don't lie to me oh Gordo, I'll run from thee.

"Keep the commandments"

Keep the commandments; do not keep your own stance!
And this will keep mindlessness, in this truth will cease.
Boyd K is chanting, "don't touch your factory".
Words for more profit, keep the commandments.
In this there's no safety or peace

"We thank thee oh God for the profit"

We thank thee oh God for the profit, which the cult manipulates us to pay.
We thank thee for making it impossible, to feel good about sex, or being gay.
We thank thee for every convention that the cult blinds us all to believe
We feel it a pleasure to insult thee, and together we bitch, moan, and grieve

"I stand all amazed"

I stand all amazed that they made me fork out the cash
In order to ritualize that hypnotic temple stance
They made me fork out cash to wear ugly underwear
Three hours in meetings, my ass sure hurts in this chair
Oh it really sucks ass the cult mentality that I let brain wash me, oh it really sucks ass, really sucks to me.

2nd verse

I sit here and wonder how much more that they will ask
Perhaps I will have to tell bishop about my past
I'll tell him of the time when I fucked that laurel chick
And then he will tell me to not take the sacrament.
Oh it really sucks ass the cult mentality that I let brain wash me, oh it really sucks ass, really sucks to me.

"God be with you till you pay again"

God will be with you if you pay again. You're not
worthy till you pay up; so the cult can surly stay up.
God be with you if you pay again-
If you pay If you pay If you pay you
If you pay, if you pay, if you pay
won't burn on that day If you pay,
If you pay
if you pay, God be with you if you pay again.
You won't burn on that day If you pay

"Because I have been given much"

Because the cult is to selfish, way to much I give
Because I'm to damn stupid, my life I don't live
I shall provide the Mormon fad, with all spare dollars that I have
So forget it if you need help from me

2nd verse

Because I have been brainwashed by the Mormon craze
I feel I have been lost in a gigantic maze
The book of fiction they call real, is nothing more than fake appeal
To make us all feel comforted

"Choose the right"

The church is right, no matter what proof you have before you.
In the light, the truth the church does hide.
And the right is forever shining o're you, unless in the church your heart confides
The church is right, the church is right, Do not question, it's just a big chore. Please recite, "THE CHURCH IS RIGHT". And we'll collect your money till your poor.

"Called to serve"

Called to misery, with no sexual contact, for two years we can not hug a chick. Far and wide we tell a stupid story, in ignorance the cult we fame….
Onward, ever onward, as misery we retain…. On ward ever onward, we tell stupid stories with no shame. Forward pressing forward, as our ball sacks feel the sting… with no sex our lives are a seriously a very repressive thing.

"Families can be together forever"

I have a family here on earth. They preferred to brainwash me.
I wish to hell they wouldn't have shared that bullshit message with me!
Families are better with no Mormon endeavor; figure out your own plan… I simply want to be with my own family, with the church I don't think that I can…. With the church, I don't think that I can.

"I am a child of God"

I am a child of fraud; the church has brought me here
Has given me a big complex, of guilt, and lies, and fear
Feed me, Hide me, from real society, and help me to refrain. Tell me all that I must do, to live without my brain.


We thank thee O God for a Puppet, to guide us in these latter-days..... - 05/23/2002 - Kim at the Recovery Bulletin Board

If I could Lie about Kolob with a twinkeling in my eye.

Err you left your house this mourning, Did you think to Pay? - 05/23/2002 - Eric Peterson of the Recovery Bulletin Board

As deacons we sang this one to a kid in the quorum who kept lighting things on fire:

"'Tis sweet to sing the love of match,
Of him who left his home ablaze." - 05/23/2002 - Wolfen of the Recovery Bulletin Board

Cum Cum ye Saints no toilet paper here, So with Grass wipe your Ass. - 05/23/2002 - Saddlesore of the Recovery Bulletin Board

Sing this one to "Come, Come Ye Saints"

Come, Come Ye Saint, go screw your wife once more! She's got twelve kids, what's one more?
Tis better far, for you to strive, her sanity from her to drive.
Who cares for her? She's done her job. She married you, a big, fat slob.

Sing this one to "Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree

I looked out the window and what did I see?
Narrow-minded mormons have surrounded me.
I tried to talk some sense with them, and help them see, an intelligent discussion would be so neat!
I tried to make it work, but they simply didn't care, all I got for trying was the thousand yard stare.

I looked out the window and what did I see?
Narrow-minded mormons have surrounded me.
My move to Utah has brought such a bad surprise. All the people here have closed their eyes.
I tried to talk some sense with them, and help them see. An intelligent discussion would be so neat!
I tried to make it work, but they simply didn't care, all I got for trying was the thousand yard stare. - 05/23/2002 - Socrates of the Recovery Bulletin Board

I Belong to the Church of..........(music please)

I belong to the church of Joseph Smith,
of Holier-Than-Thous,
I know how to pray,
I will obey
My tithing I will pay.

I believe that I'm superior
than other Heathens;
I'll do what I'm told,
The iron Prod I'll hold,
Oh sh**, I'm late for a meeting......... - 05/23/2002 - Bach of the Recovery Bulletin Board


"I get Hie onto Kolob with a little help from my friends." - 05/05/2002 - anon

Thomas Monson Dolby:
 "She Blinded Me...with GARMENTS" - 03/13/2002 - anon

The Danite Generation - Mormonism Going Mainstream

12/08/2001 - created by Moongrim of the Recovery Bulletin Board

The Deca Descendents have just released thier latest album- Mountain Meadow Picnic They are including all of their best hits, including:

Lesbo Polygamy
Bane of the Blood Oath
Spandex Endowment Garments
Root Beer Bonging
Returned (Outta Hell) Missionary
Dear John Postal
Virgin Tithings

and their smash hit- Gothic Heavenly Mother

This album will not be available at any Deseret Industry Bookstore. Get yours while they're hot! Because they're gonna be even hotter when the bonfires are lit.

Rising Rock Stars and Bands

12/08/2001 - created by Nephihaha of ther Recovery Bulletin Board

Sisters of Relief
Nephi's Brother
Listen to Nehor
Nine Inch Sure Sign of the Nails

Allan Parsons Prophet

10/10/2001 - Brigham Smith

Lie in the Sky (A tribute to Conference via satellite)
Time...and Eternity
Dont Answer Me (or my exit letter)
Games Prophets Play
You Dont Believe?

The Rolling Seer-Stones

10/10/2001 - Brigham Smith

"Devotional Rescue"
"Miss Sacrament Meeting"

The BYU Transfer

06/13/2001 - anon

"(Talking 'bout) The Boy From Salt Lake City

Hinckley & Oakes

05/29/2001 - by Brigham Smith

"No Can Revelate"
"Packers Eyes" (Are Watching YOU)
"Say It Isn't Doctrinal" - anon

The Bish Boys - "Good Recommendations" - new album hits charts

05/06/2001 - by Brigham Smith

"I Get Around...PROVO"


Mo-Mo-Mo; Mo-Molly-Ann
Mo-Mo-Mo; Mo-Molly-Ann
She's Got A Plan
Molly Ann
She maybe rockin and a reelin
But its for "G"s she is a feelin
Mo-Mo-Mo; Mo-Molly-Ann

Went To the "Y"
Lookin for a guy
Saw an RM
And she KNEW that it was him!


"Help Me, Greg Dodge"

"Fun, Fun, Fun-NOT!"

"Dont Worry Gordy"

"Cocoa, MO?"

"Sloop Boyd P."

"In My (Celestial) Room"

"Deseret Girls"

"Wouldnt It Be Nice (If ANY of it were TRUE!)" "Caroline No...This Church Is True"


10/11/2000 - anon
How about "Bitter Bitter, that's how you sound, the principles never changed, just the men on the ground."

Emma, Oh Emma!

10/05/2000 by Lorna Snell
Gordon Hinckley, kiss my ass.
If I were near you, I would pass gas.

Elder Faust, you bore me to tears.
You, as a man, are the whole of my fears.

Joseph Smith, you were mentally ill.
That I fell for your crap gives me such a cold chill.

Brigham, you racist killing machine
Danites damn you from the grave, if you know what I mean.


Emma, oh Emma!
Did you really wear them drawers? Did you stink up a storm?
Did you broom-beat Joe's whores?

Was it worth it?
Was it worth it?
Was it worth it?

I Used To Be Mormon

(goes with the tune "Wild Rover")- 09/08/2000 - anon
I used to be Mormon for many long years,
and I spent all me money on tithes 'n off'rings.
But now I'm returning with knowledge and more,
and I swear I will play the good Mormon no more.


And it's no, nay never, no nay never, no more,
will I play the good Mormon, no never, no more.

I went into the wardhouse that I used to frequent,
and I told the good bishop me money was spent.
And I asked him for a credit, and he answered me nay,
saying customers like apostates I can get any day.


And it's no, nay never, no nay never, no more,
will I play the good Mormon, no never, no more.

I pulled out of me pocket my own seerstone,
and I told the ole bishop he may leave me alone.
Let's all have a big party, with liquor and all,
with our lovely apostates wherever they are.


And it's no, nay never, no nay never, no more,
will I play the good Mormon, no never, no more.

Righteous Dominion Brothers
"You've Lost That Lemming Feeling"
"Unchained Theology"
08/12/2000 -

Larry Miller Band - Abracadabra
"Abra-cadabra, I saw a white salamanda..." 07/30/2000

Cultic Club (Featuring "Elder George")
"Do You Really Want To Baptize Me"
"The Tithing Game"
"Church of The Inventive Mind"
From the "Prostelyzing To Be Clever" CD
07/10/2000 -


Good Day Sunstone
In My (LDS) Life
Joseph Smith, Paperback Writer
Elder O'Rigby
Imagine (I Did!-JS)
Lucy In Salt Lake, At Conference
Can't Tithe Me Love
Latter-Day Tripper
Provo Man - From the "Rubber Banknote" CD
-07/08/2000 - BrighamSmith

Best Song nomination for
"Joseph Smith, Superstar; Who in the hell do you think you are!"

Next Week: "How To Succeed In Religion Despite REALLY Lying!" - 07/02/2000 - Brigham Smith

06/17/2000 - anon
Depress Mode: "IM-personal Jesus"

06/17/2000 - Richard Lionheart
My favorite went like this: One sacrament meeting when I was a priest, the other priest at the sacrament table with me, leaned over and whispered conspiratorily: "Did you know that if you take the name of any hymm in the book, and add the words "IN THE BATHTUB" to it, it will take on a whole new meaning?

Well, my curiosity was piqued, so I opened the book. This was in the days of the old hymnals where the name of the hymn was the first line of the lyric. So what was the first one I saw?

"What wondrous things mine eyes behold"...IN THE BATHTUB!

This started a giggle and a stern look from my mother in the second row. I stifled the best I could and moved on.

"Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow" IN THE BATHTUB!

Oh my good lord, I knew I was done for at that point. It was only by a supernatural effort of will and a calling upon every priesthood power I knew that I was able to keep from laughing out loud. I went to close the book and the devil took firm hold of it and opened it to:

"Come Come Ye Saints"...IN THE BATHTUB!

I couldn't take it! Right in the middle of the high councilman's speech I started laughing!

I was called into the bishop's office to explain my actions, and like an idiot, I told him the reason why I laughed. I was disfellowshipped for 3 months and my parents took my car away, but looking back at it, you know, it was almost worth it! I laugh out loud every time I think of it!

06/06/2000 -

The Mormy Blues

Knights In Funny Underwear - ""Some try to tell me, thoughts they cannot defend. Just what you want to be, youll be in the end" "..."I Home Teach, Therefore I AM..."

Isn't (Mormon) Life Strange
Latter-Day Afternoon
I'm Just A Prophet (In an ongoing con)
From the "Every Good Boy Deserves A Calling" CD

05/31/2000 - Brigham Smith
The Rolling Seer-Stones
"Deseret Women" (...give me the Deseret blues)
Alternative: (give me the Latter-Day Blues) "Devotional Rescue" "Miss Sacrament Meeting"

05/29/2000 -
The "Y" Magic Mini-Bus
"10% every day, just to prove I'm worth-y"

(Which?)Mama's Got a Squeezebox

Youth Activity Wasteland
(Blah, Blah, Oh Really)

(Talkin' 'bout) My WICKED Generation

05/23/2000 - anon
Hyrum Seeger & The Golden Plate Band
"(Give Me) That Old Time Principle"

05/08/2000 - anon
The Temple-Tations
"It Was Just My Imagination"

04/19/2000 - anon
Kneel Sedaka:
"Getting Out Is Hard To Do"

04/19/2000 - anon
"As Long as You Follow"

The Rolling-SeerStones:
"Prop Me Up"
(Previously unreleased single with then- lead vocalist Ezra T. Benson) "Under My Thumb" featuring back-up vocals of Boyd K Packer. <03/26/2000 - Brigham Smith
Gordon & The Apologists:
"Dont Know Much About History"
From the "Live at Mountain Meadows" CD

03/22/2000 - Brigham Smith
THE LARRY MILLER BAND - "Fly Like A Seagull"

PROVO HAREM - "A More Delightsome Shade of Pale"

03/19/2000 - anon
Rolling Seer-Stones
Sympathy for the Prophet
"Pleased to meet you. Hope you guess my TEMPLE name..."

03/15/2000 - Brigham Smith
Out! (to the tune of "Shout")

Out! Out!
Boot 'em all out!
Intellectuals we can do without.
Be Gone! We'll be praying for you. Be Gone!


In latter-times,
why dont you just accept its true.
In latter times,
you think that we would lie to you?
Why dont you just get...

Out! Out!
Kick 'em all out
Pay, Pray, and Obey or you're not devout.
So long! Were talkin' to you. So Long.


In a pigs eye...
I guess that...pigs fly!

03/09/2000 - LadyDB
"Nobody Loves Me But My Bishop And He Could Be Jivin' Too"

03/04/2000 - Brigham Smith

"Last Train to Coalville"
" I'm a (TRUE) Believer.
...I really believe it
I couldnt leave it
Despite all the lies... The Testi-MONKEES

"Goodbye, Jello-Brick Road", "Saturday Night's Allright (for Baptizing)", "Dont Let the Sunstone Go Down On Me" by Elder John

02/24/2000 - Brigham Smith
Happy Valley Sunday, by The Testa-Monkees

02/09/2000 - anon
"Losing My Religion" by XRM

12/25/1999 - Ammonihahahasnortle
I'm Dreaming of a Fair and Delightsome Christmas
God Rest Ye Merry Priesthood Holders
We Wish You A Merry Smithmas and a Happy New Child
O Little Town of Zarahemla
While Ammon Watched His Flocks By Night
Silent Night, Violent Night (not sung since Blood Atonement was stopped)

12/12/1999 - anon

Bishop Bing's "PURE" Christmas
I'm dreaming of a pure christmas Just like in Zion long ago May your tithes be exactly r-i-g-h-t And may all your Christmases be wh,er,"PURE"

12/04/1999 - Brigham Smith

Manti Mamba #6
A little bit of Monica, The #1 wife
Another ring for Tina adds no strife
No need for Erica to be on the side
Cause I got 'em a triple-wide.

A little bit of Sharon in the sun
Marie has to share me but thinks it fun
And Bonnie too has risen to the test.
Cant wait for Sunday, I need the rest!

11/21/1999 - anon

"I Can See Clearly Now" by Little "exmo" Richard

11/11/1999 - Johanna at Recovery From Mormonism BBS

All the talk about Primary songs got me groaning (because I was the Primary Choirister and taught my kids these) and I started thinking. Maybe we could teach these revised Primary songs to our newest crop of young believers:

Nephi's Courage: The Lord commanded Nephi to go and get the plates, cut off Laban's head before it was too late...

Follow the Prophet: Follow the prophet don't go away! Follow the prophet, follow the prophet, follow the prophet, send cash this way!

Book of Mormon Stories: The Book of Mormon story that my teacher tells to me, is a half-rate novel without any history!

Army of Helaman: ....(chorus) We are as the Army of Helaman, we have been taught in our youth, that we can never think for ourselves or read about the truth!

Little Purple pansies: Little purple pansies touched with effeminant charms, don't deserve to wed and so we're up in arms. We are very adamant and we want your dough, don't tell the IRS we're here, they don't need to know.

Happy Family: I love Mother she loves me, we love Daddy yes siree! He loves us but a shame to see, he never has time for his family.

I Want to be a Missionary: I want to be missionary, why? I haven't got a clue. I hope by then I'll raise the money, so I can knock, and preach, and get the stomach flu. Do,do,do,do,dooooodoo!

Families Can Be Together Forever: ...(chorus) Families can be together forever, if they but pay their tithes. I hope they don't drink Coke, or have a little smoke, or drink iced tea or tell a lie. I hope they won't before they die.

Doing as I'm Doing: Do as I'm doing follow, follow me. Do as I'm doing, I'm a big lemming. I will do it high or low, if the prophet tells me sooooo. Do as I'm doing, follow, follow me.

Hum Your Favorite Hymn: If on occasion you have found, a fact or two 'bout Joseph. Or stumble on a queer doctrine, like Brigham's Blood-Atonement. Just hum your favorite hymn, write FARMS or repent from your sin. And you will find it numbs your mind, hum your favorite hymn.

11/10/1999 - Provo-ked

1999 by The Con-Man formerly known as Prophet.

2000-0-0 The millenium will come to Zion...
So tonight I'm going to conference like its 1999!

10/23/1999 - Blash

"The Spirit of God Like a Blue Flame is Burning"

"Redeemer of Israel, Can I Cash In My Empties?"

"Israel, Israel, God Is Calling, but he signed up for a no-name long distance carrier and can't get a line"

"God of Power, God of Right, God of Afternoon Delight"

"Now We'll Sing with One Accord, The Rest of You Can Sing with the Honda Civic"

"A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief, Hath Often Crossed Me on My Way, But He Belongeth to the Wrong Church, So I Didst Spit Upon His Face"

"O God, Our Help in Ages Past, Where the Hell Have You Been for the Past 2000 Years and Why Didst You Let That Charlatan From New York Found This Church That Is Costing Me Ten Percent of My Gross?"

"Our Mountain Home So Dear, Please Assign Us Dropout Home Teachers Who Will Never Darken Our Door"

10/22/1999 - anon

To the tune of "Bringing in the Sheep"

Lying for the Lord,
Lying for the Lord,
Keep your fingers crossed cause...
Were lying for the Lord

Lying for the Lord,
Lying for the Lord,
Give 'em milk not meat when...
You're lying for the Lord
Lying for the Lord!
Lying for the Lord!
In the end they'll understand
Why you're lying for the Lord!

Copyright 1999 by Arrogance Unlimited

10/22/1999 - anon

"I Cant Get No Exaltation" by "The Rolling Seer-Stones"

11/27/1999 - anon

Flip Side of "I Cant Get No Exaltation" "Here Comes Your 19th Nervous Breakdown"

Book-O-Dee-Normons. (Southern Gospel Choir)

Moron, I & EZ-B Benson (R&B) - 06/25/2006 - O-De


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