Twisted Sister - We're Not Gonna Spank It
Black Sabbath - Ward Pigs
Bee Gees - Payin' Your Tithe
Paul Revere & The Raiders - Lamanite Nation
Deep Purple - Curse On The Water
Frank Sinatra - Visions In The Night
Talking Heads - Burning In The Bosom - by Maria
Aretha Franklin - I Say a Temple Prayer For You. - by flattopSF
The Hollies - Long Cool Woman in a Temple Dress - by Used2Bdoxi
The Beatles - Restoration 9 - by Maria
This cult is bananas, b a n a n a s, this cult is bananas. Gwen Stephani - by 6 iron
Queen - "WE WILL, WE WILL STALK YOU" - by Bob T Mail Address:
Susan Boyle "I Dreamed a Nightmare" - by Topper
Anyone have funny ideas for exmormon rock band names? Here are a couple of my ideas.
The Fanny Alger Project
Peep Stoned
The Anti-knee-high-levi's
The Anti-knee-high-levis : Sounds like a Brand of Pantyhose! - by wine country girl
Brodies abortions by vegasbright
The BloodaTones - by Concrete Zipper
How about instad of Buddy Holly and the Crickets, we have Gordon Hinkley and the Parrots? - by earplugs
The Rolling Peepstones, The Kinderhookers, Blind Faith (oh wait that's taken)... - by Gary B.
JosephScamsWorld (like JimmyEatsWorld) - by Alison_is_free
Korihor's Revenge - by Big Drummer Boy
Helamonster - by Helamonster. I hereby give permission to an exmo band (cool one only) to use my screen name.
NoMo and the Tavernacle Barstools with Da BOM and Snoop Bishop Rick - by PossiblyPagan
Boy Joseph and the Moneydiggers by Larry Bud
Slippery Treasure Which is also a good name for a racehorse or a stripper. - by Skunk Puppet
Pay Lay Ale Pay Lay Ale would be a great name. If anyone asks what it means, say it is too sacred to talk about. One of your songs would have to be "We will go down."
The Peep Stones
The Cureloms
Laban's Head
Shiz
Jared and his Brothers (especially for a black band)
D&C 132 - by dick
Emma-not-a-M (member,Mormon,moron whatever...keep em guessing)
Emma-anti-M
Emma's Priesthood
Emma-ncipation
Emma's Wives
Emma Young
Brigham Emma
Rigging Emma
Emmahroni
Gorgon Monsoon Faustus
The New Name Stones - by Cats
Huey Lewis & The Deseret News
Back in Time (...for Fireside)
The Bosum of Rock & Roll
Workin' for a Livin'...PROPHET
Doing It All For My Bishop
Do You Believe in Joe
Bosum & Soul
Stuck With You (...'cause you wont let me OUT!)
I Want a New Church - 02/13/2005 - from Brigham Smith
"Salamnder Letter 22" - 02/13/2005 - from The Elders Johnson
1.) AdamGod
2.) Fig Leaf Apron (FLA)
3.) Enish-go-on-Dosh (the "EGODs" for short)
4.) Seer Stoner
5.) White Salamander
6.) The Communist Negroes (ET Benson tie-in) (my personal favorite)
7.) The Asian Israelites
8.) The Limited Intelligence Theory (LIT) (FARMS tie-in)
9.) Not Official Church Doctrine (NOCD)
10.) The Little Factories
11.) The Idunno's (GBH tie-in)
12.) The Mor-wellians
13.) Since your frontman is Latino, you could do a BOM tie-in and consider "Filthy and Loathsome";
14.) Also, I'd consider stealing "Kolobotomy" from the exmo board...
The Magic World View, The Lemmings, The Danites, Rigdon's Raiders, Joe's Brothers Can't Shoot Straight, Mountain Meadows Murderers, Bednars and Broomsticks, Give Said the Crossing Streams, Jesus's Sunbeams. - by Kolobkremedonuts
I know...The GodHead - by brainwashed no more
Or Adam Dog by Cattle Mutilator
The Living Prophets, The Three Witlesses, The Council of Fifty, Wife No. 19, Saturday's Fence-Sitters - by Randy J.
Right Arm to the Squares, The Embowelers, The Slashers, The Melchezdicks, Chronic Saints, Pimp my Priesthoods - by Saucie
Slash and Burn - by Susan D.
Koriwhores - by Noble_N_Great
Fanny Alger, Trek, Fielding, The Lard, Wheat Buckets, The Cureloms, Green Gordy, White Shirts - by Franz
Brighams Concubines...The Modern Day Prophets...Revelation for our Day... Follow the Prophets...The Great and Spacious Builders...Words of Wisdom...The Temple Squares...The Dead Baptizers...Sealed for Eternity...The Eternal Procreators...Worlds Without Number...The Telestial Playboys...Following the Plan...Consecrators and Dedicators...All Those who Partake...Joey, Brig, Spence and Gordo...The Spawn of Laman. - by HereYaGo
Latter-Day Aint's - by NumLock
Masters of Puppets, The Aaronic Anal Retenters,Hinckley's Harlots, John Lee and the Killers, Bachman Tithpaying Overdrive (Sorry, Tal, just had to do it! :>) - by Leggy
Strength in the Loins (and in the sinews)- by howd
Rocks in a Hat, The Flaming Swords - by Susan D.
Blood Atonement, Meadow Mountain - by theflyonthewall
Naked Moroni, Laban's Head, The Smell of Shiz, Nasty Brothers of Jared, Sacred Finger, Signs and Tokens, M.I.S.S. (Morons in Smith's Service), The B.I.B.S. (B*stards in Brigham's Service), The Bloody Oaths, Oath of Vengeance, Twisted Prophets, Bishop Snow and the Castrators. I like "Pay, Lay and Ale". These are the things that many rockers desire.... - by Beaujolais Joe
The Deiter Tones, Bednars Boyz, Get Bent Hinkley (GBH for short) *snort*, Journal of Discourses, by I'll buy your first CD
Kinderhook, by fooled40years
Lyin' for the lard, Latter-day profits, CK slackers, CTR Zombies, Garmie Wedgies, Holy Smoke and Mirrors. - by Lost no more
Better than Ezra Taff Bensen - by code name Nadia
Kori-Ho's and Necro Dunked - by CTR no more
Bumpy Bednar Breasts, Bouncy Bednar Breasts - RG
Ziffsword" after the imaginary metal, Ziff from the BofM - by Dark Sparks
Apostasy by red
The Everlasting Godstoppers - by anon
The Funeral Potatoes, Green Jello Casserole, Joseph's Magic Hat, The X-Mo's, Great Drops of Chud, The Stripping Warriors, And It Came to Pass, Ezra F. Hinckley, The Priesthood Holders, The Dead Lamanites, The Nephri's, The Faith Promoting Rumors - by oxbow
Boyds in the Hood, The Gadianton Slobbers, Polyg-R-Us, Elohim and Eloher, The Gordianton Robbers. Cleon and the Kolobmeisters. The Kinderhookers. Dead Handcart Kids. Boyd Vicious and the Sex Bristles, Ezra Tee and the Conspirators, Cleon Skousen and the Naked Communalists, Pimpus Knight and the Glads, Big Eyes Knight and the Peeps - by cricket
Fornicating Mollies - by Molly no-mo
Combining two names: "Give Said the Little Factory" - by Gordon K Packer
Gerry Lafferty: Mission to Mission
Temple Street
Right Down the GA Line
Get (The Prophecy) Right This Time
Home-Taught and Dry - 04/17/2004 - from Brigham Smith
Anne of Murray
MoBird
Gordy's Song
You Wont See Me...in the Temple
Just Another RM In Love
You Offended Me
I Just Fall In Love Again (Lyrics by J. Smith)
Somebody's Always Saying "Pay Lay Ale"
Could I Have This Recommend
Vision Believer
Over You (and your church)
Blessed Are The Deceivers - 11/14/2003 - from BrighamSmith
"Kneel By Your Man" - 11/01/2003 - from Mollie Wynett
At the Gateway to Zion, there are "THE DOORS" - 09/06/2003 - anon
"The White (& Delightsome) Album \ Copy-RITE 1868
1) Back in the U.S.-UTAH
2) Dear Prude
3) The Continuing Revelation of Bungalow Brigham
4) While My G.A. Bluntly Speaks
5) Happiness is a Warm Bosum
6) Molly My Dear
7) BlackSheep
8) Mishies
9) Why Dont We Do It in Provo
10) I Will (or Suffer The Penalty)
11) Mister Bater's Son
12) Un-Sexy Sadie
13) Packer Whacker
"When I get to the bottom I go back to the
top..."
"I got blisters on my fingers!"
14) MO-Blah-Dee MO-Blah-Duh
"Peter is an R-M down at BYU
Mollie wants her M-R-S degree
Peter says to Mollie: "Do you KNOW your
place!
And Mollie says yes as she gazes at
his 'g's"
Chorus:
MO-Blah-Dee MO-Blah-Duh, bow your head, yes
See the Mormon life go on
MO-Blah-Dee MO-Blah-Duh, Pay Lay Ale, yes
How the Mormon life goes on
In a couple of years they have built a
Midvale Home
With a couple of kids running in the yard
Of Elder and Mollie Jones
Happy ever after down at Zion's Bank
Peter thinks he's got the inside track
Before she goes to meetings Mollie does her face
And afterwards she will get blitzed on her
Prozac! HEYY...
Chorus:
Chorus repeat:
And if you want some fun,
Be L-D-S, Well-DUH, yeah
Marie Osmond: "Meet Me in MO-Tana" - "...I want to feel the garments on your thighs..." - 07/25/2003 - anon
Light My Bosum
Dunk Me Two Times
Bike Riders Of The Storm
People Are Strange (...When You're In Utah)
Hello, Let's Dunk You...
(...Wont You Tell Me Your Name)
Provo Woman
Temple-Door Man
Nineteenth Century Fox
The End (of my testimony) - 05/29/2003 - Produced by Brigham Smith
from ZZzz Testimony
"Im TBM, Ive Been Good, Salt Lake City, Mollywood" - 05/17/2003 - anon
ZZ Testimony From the CD "DesereTEJAS"
Jesus Just Left Provo (Got expelled for facial hair)
I'm TBM, I'm Nationwide
Sharp-Dressed RM (Every Molly's Crazy 'bout...)
LaVell
Heard It On KSL
Give Me All Your Tithing - 05/10/2003 - from Brigham Smith
Delightsome Floyd: "The Dark Side of Kolob" - 11/24/2002 - from Mo-Lygamous
Mo-Donna
"Open Your Hymn-book to me" - 08/03/2002 - anon
Positively Temple Street
Like a Rolling Stone Cut from the Mountain
Ain't Going to Work on the Welfare Farm No More
Interstate 15 Revisited
My Hidden Pages
Upper Room Homesick Blues
Leopard Skin Garments
Tangled Up in Lies
If Not for Joe
Just Like a Molly
Boyd is Just a Four Letter Word - 06/04/2002 - Lillith of Recovery Bulletin Board
Quinn the Exmo (the Mighty Quinn)
(A variation of Quinn the Eskimo)
The Doctrines, They Are A-Changin'
(An adaptation of The Times, They Are A-Changin')>
Don't Think Twice, It's Just a Couplet (And It's All Right)
(An adaptation of Don't Think Twice, It's All Right)
She Belongs to Me (And Brigham)
(An adaptation of She Belongs to Me)
You Ain't Goin' Nowhere (Without Those Handshakes)
(An adaptation of You Ain't Goin' Nowhere)
Lie, Leader, Lie (Upon My Big Brass Podium)
(An adaptation of lay, lady, lay)
I Shall Be Released (It's About Time)
(An adaptation of I Shall Be Released)
I'll Be Your Bishop Tonight
(An adaptation of I'll Be Your Baby Tonight)
Mr. Golden Plates Man
(An adaptation of Mr. Tambourine Man)
All The Tired Morgbots
(An adaptation of All The Tired Horses)
Tell Me That It Isn't True
(No adaptation necessary)
"Come, Come, ye saints"
Come, Come ye saints, for once just try a beer; but with guilt you won't sway. Though wrong to you this beverage may appear, guzzle you will, one fine day. Tis better far for us to drink, than be to so anal making a stink!
Do this and joy your bellies will swell- All is well, all is well.
"Now let us rejoice"
Now let us rejoice in the day of demolition. No longer inane on the earth need we roam. Good night to all bullshit from the cult to each nation, and shortly the hour of deliverance will come.
"The spirit of God"
The spirit of fraud like a tire is Turing; the latter-day story begins to come forth. Same revisions, and blessings are old and not working, and people are starting to see the real truth.
"I need thee every hour"
The cult has too much power, but most will not say.
"Keep the commandments"
Keep the commandments; do not keep your own stance!
"We thank thee oh God for the profit"
We thank thee O God for a Puppet, to guide us in these
latter-days..... - 05/23/2002 - Kim at the Recovery Bulletin Board
If I could Lie about Kolob with a twinkeling in my eye.
As deacons we sang this one to a kid in the quorum who kept lighting things on
fire:
Cum Cum ye Saints no toilet paper here, So with Grass wipe your Ass.
- 05/23/2002 - Saddlesore of the Recovery Bulletin Board
Sing this one to "Come, Come Ye Saints"
Come, Come Ye Saint, go screw your wife once more! She's got twelve kids, what's
one more?
Sing this one to "Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree
I looked out the window and what did I see?
I looked out the window and what did I see?
I Belong to the Church of..........(music please)
I belong to the church of Joseph Smith,
"I get Hie onto Kolob with a little help from my friends." - 05/05/2002 - anon
Thomas Monson Dolby:
The Deca Descendents have just released thier latest album- Mountain Meadow Picnic
They are including all of their best hits, including:
Lesbo Polygamy
and their smash hit-
Gothic Heavenly Mother
This album will not be available at any Deseret Industry Bookstore. Get yours while they're
hot! Because they're gonna be even hotter when the bonfires are lit.
Mentallica
Sirius?
"Devotional Rescue"
"(Talking 'bout) The Boy From Salt Lake City
"No Can Revelate"
"I Get Around...PROVO"
"Mollie-Ann"
Mo-Mo-Mo; Mo-Molly-Ann
Went To the "Y"
Chorus
"Help Me, Greg Dodge"
"Fun, Fun, Fun-NOT!"
"Dont Worry Gordy"
"Cocoa, MO?"
"Sloop Boyd P."
"In My (Celestial) Room"
"Deseret Girls"
"Wouldnt It Be Nice (If ANY of it were TRUE!)"
"Caroline No...This Church Is True"
10/11/2000 - anon
Elder Faust, you bore me to tears.
Joseph Smith, you were mentally ill.
Brigham, you racist killing machine
(chorus)
Emma, oh Emma!
Was it worth it?
Chorus:
And it's no, nay never, no nay never, no more,
I went into the wardhouse that I used to frequent,
Chorus:
And it's no, nay never, no nay never, no more,
I pulled out of me pocket my own seerstone,
Chorus:
And it's no, nay never, no nay never, no more,
Righteous Dominion Brothers
Larry Miller Band - Abracadabra
Cultic Club (Featuring "Elder George")
Best Song nomination for
Next Week: "How To Succeed In Religion Despite REALLY
Lying!" - 07/02/2000 - Brigham Smith
06/17/2000 - anon 06/17/2000 - Richard Lionheart
Well, my curiosity was piqued, so I opened the book. This was in the days of the old hymnals where the name of the hymn was the first line of the lyric. So what was the first one I saw?
"What wondrous things mine eyes behold"...IN THE BATHTUB!
This started a giggle and a stern look from my mother in the second row. I stifled the best I could and moved on.
"Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow" IN THE BATHTUB!
Oh my good lord, I knew I was done for at that point. It was only by a supernatural effort of will and a calling upon every priesthood power I knew that I was able to keep from laughing out loud. I went to close the book and the devil took firm hold of it and opened it to:
"Come Come Ye Saints"...IN THE BATHTUB!
I couldn't take it! Right in the middle of the high councilman's speech I started laughing!
I was called into the bishop's office to explain my actions, and like an idiot, I told him the reason why I laughed. I was disfellowshipped for 3 months and my parents took my car away, but looking back at it, you know, it was almost worth it! I laugh out loud every time I think of it!
06/06/2000 - SaorStat@LasVegas.com
Isn't (Mormon) Life Strange 05/31/2000 - Brigham Smith 05/29/2000 - SaorStat@LasVegas.com
(Which?)Mama's Got a Squeezebox
Youth Activity Wasteland (Talkin' 'bout) My WICKED Generation
05/23/2000 - anon 05/08/2000 - anon 04/19/2000 - anon 04/19/2000 - anon
The Rolling-SeerStones: 03/22/2000 - Brigham Smith
PROVO HAREM - "A More Delightsome Shade of Pale"
03/19/2000 - anon 03/15/2000 - Brigham Smith
Out! Out!
[Repeats]
In latter-times,
Out! Out!
[Repeats]
In a pigs eye... 03/09/2000 - LadyDB 03/04/2000 - Brigham Smith
"Last Train to Coalville"
"Goodbye, Jello-Brick Road", "Saturday Night's
Allright (for Baptizing)",
"Dont Let the Sunstone Go Down On Me" by Elder John
02/24/2000 - Brigham Smith 02/09/2000 - anon 12/25/1999 - Ammonihahahasnortle 12/12/1999 - anon
12/04/1999 - Brigham Smith
A little bit of Sharon in the sun 11/21/1999 - anon
"I Can See Clearly Now" by Little "exmo" Richard
11/11/1999 - Johanna at Recovery From Mormonism BBS
All the talk about Primary songs got me groaning (because I was the Primary Choirister and taught my kids these) and I started thinking. Maybe we could teach these revised Primary songs to our newest crop of young believers:
Nephi's Courage: The Lord commanded Nephi to go and get the plates, cut off Laban's head before it was too late...
Follow the Prophet: Follow the prophet don't go away! Follow the prophet, follow the prophet, follow the prophet, send cash this way!
Book of Mormon Stories: The Book of Mormon story that my teacher tells to me, is a half-rate novel without any history!
Army of Helaman: ....(chorus) We are as the Army of Helaman, we have been taught in our youth, that we can never think for ourselves or read about the truth!
Little Purple pansies: Little purple pansies touched with effeminant charms, don't deserve to wed and so we're up in arms. We are very adamant and we want your dough, don't tell the IRS we're here, they don't need to know.
Happy Family: I love Mother she loves me, we love Daddy yes siree! He loves us but a shame to see, he never has time for his family.
I Want to be a Missionary: I want to be missionary, why? I haven't got a clue. I hope by then I'll raise the money, so I can knock, and preach, and get the stomach flu. Do,do,do,do,dooooodoo!
Families Can Be Together Forever: ...(chorus) Families can be together forever, if they but pay their tithes. I hope they don't drink Coke, or have a little smoke, or drink iced tea or tell a lie. I hope they won't before they die.
Doing as I'm Doing: Do as I'm doing follow, follow me. Do as I'm doing, I'm a big lemming. I will do it high or low, if the prophet tells me sooooo. Do as I'm doing, follow, follow me.
Hum Your Favorite Hymn: If on occasion you have found, a fact or two 'bout Joseph. Or stumble on a queer doctrine, like Brigham's Blood-Atonement. Just hum your favorite hymn, write FARMS or repent from your sin. And you will find it numbs your mind, hum your favorite hymn.
11/10/1999 - Provo-ked
1999 by The Con-Man formerly known as Prophet.
2000-0-0 The millenium will come to Zion... 10/23/1999 - Blash
"The Spirit of God Like a Blue Flame is Burning"
"Redeemer of Israel, Can I Cash In My Empties?"
"Israel, Israel, God Is Calling, but he signed up for a no-name long distance carrier and can't get a line"
"God of Power, God of Right, God of Afternoon Delight"
"Now We'll Sing with One Accord, The Rest of You Can Sing with the Honda Civic"
"A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief, Hath Often Crossed Me on My Way, But He Belongeth to the Wrong Church, So I Didst Spit Upon His Face"
"O God, Our Help in Ages Past, Where the Hell Have You Been for the Past 2000 Years and Why Didst You Let That Charlatan From New York Found This Church That Is Costing Me Ten Percent of My Gross?"
"Our Mountain Home So Dear, Please Assign Us Dropout Home Teachers Who Will Never Darken Our Door"
10/22/1999 - anon
To the tune of "Bringing in the Sheep"
Lying for the Lord,
Lying for the Lord,
Copyright 1999 by Arrogance Unlimited
10/22/1999 - anon
"I Cant Get No Exaltation" by "The Rolling Seer-Stones"
11/27/1999 - anon
Flip Side of "I Cant Get No Exaltation"
"Here Comes Your 19th Nervous Breakdown"
Book-O-Dee-Normons. (Southern Gospel Choir)
Moron, I & EZ-B Benson (R&B) - 06/25/2006 - O-De
Post your comments in this text box.
We'll sing and we'll shout with all fellow ex-Mormons, Hosanna, hosanna, to free thought and light. Let the story be shed, no illusion be given, hence forth and forever All women, and all men!
The truth that we have found, as ex-mo's we speak plain
Don't feed me, please don't feed me, you always do deceive me
Don't lie to me oh Gordo, I'll run from thee.
And this will keep mindlessness, in this truth will cease.
Boyd K is chanting, "don't touch your factory".
Words for more profit, keep the commandments.
In this there's no safety or peace
We thank thee oh God for the
profit, which the cult manipulates us to pay.
We thank thee for making
it impossible, to feel good about sex, or being gay.
We thank thee for
every convention that the cult blinds us all to believe
We feel it a
pleasure to insult thee, and together we bitch, moan, and
grieve
"I stand all amazed"
I stand all amazed
that they made me fork out the cash
In order to ritualize that hypnotic
temple stance
They made me fork out cash to wear ugly
underwear
Three hours in meetings, my ass sure hurts in this
chair
Oh it really sucks ass the cult mentality that I let brain wash me,
oh it really sucks ass, really sucks to me.
2nd verse
I sit here
and wonder how much more that they will ask
Perhaps I will have to tell
bishop about my past
I'll tell him of the time when I fucked that laurel
chick
And then he will tell me to not take the sacrament.
Oh it
really sucks ass the cult mentality that I let brain wash me, oh it really sucks
ass, really sucks to me.
"God be with you till
you pay again"
God will be with you if you pay again. You're not
worthy till you pay up; so the cult can surly stay up.
God be
with you if you pay again-
If you pay If you pay If you pay
you
If
you pay, if you pay, if you pay
won't burn on that day If you pay,
If you pay
if you pay, God be with you if you pay again.
You
won't burn on that day If you pay
"Because I have
been given much"
Because the cult is to selfish, way to much I
give
Because I'm to damn stupid, my life I don't live
I shall
provide the Mormon fad, with all spare dollars that I have
So forget it
if you need help from me
2nd verse
Because I have been brainwashed
by the Mormon craze
I feel I have been lost in a gigantic maze
The
book of fiction they call real, is nothing more than fake appeal
To make
us all feel comforted
"Choose the right"
The
church is right, no matter what proof you have before you.
In the light,
the truth the church does hide.
And the right is forever shining o're
you, unless in the church your heart confides
The church is right, the
church is right, Do not question, it's just a big chore. Please recite, "THE
CHURCH IS RIGHT". And we'll collect your money till your
poor.
"Called to serve"
Called to misery, with no
sexual contact, for two years we can not hug a chick. Far and wide we tell a
stupid story, in ignorance the cult we fame….
Onward, ever onward, as
misery we retain…. On ward ever onward, we tell stupid stories with no shame.
Forward pressing forward, as our ball sacks feel the sting… with no sex our
lives are a seriously a very repressive thing.
"Families
can be together forever"
I have a family here on earth. They preferred to
brainwash me.
I wish to hell they wouldn't have shared that bullshit
message with me!
Families are better with no Mormon endeavor; figure out
your own plan… I simply want to be with my own family, with the church I don't
think that I can…. With the church, I don't think that I
can.
"I am a child of God"
I am a
child of fraud; the church has brought me here
Has given me a big
complex, of guilt, and lies, and fear
Feed me, Hide me, from real
society, and help me to refrain. Tell me all that I must do, to live without my
brain.
Err you left your
house this mourning, Did you think to Pay? - 05/23/2002 - Eric Peterson of the Recovery Bulletin Board
"'Tis sweet to sing the love of match,
Of him who left his home
ablaze." - 05/23/2002 - Wolfen of the Recovery Bulletin Board
Tis better far, for you to strive, her sanity from her to drive.
Who cares for her? She's done her job. She married you, a big, fat slob.
Narrow-minded mormons have
surrounded me.
I tried to talk some sense with them, and help them see, an
intelligent discussion would be so neat!
I tried to make it work, but they
simply didn't care, all I got for trying was the thousand yard stare.
Narrow-minded mormons have
surrounded me.
My move to Utah has brought such a bad surprise. All the
people here have closed their eyes.
I tried to talk some sense with them, and
help them see. An intelligent discussion would be so neat!
I tried to make
it work, but they simply didn't care, all I got for trying was the thousand yard
stare.
- 05/23/2002 - Socrates of the Recovery Bulletin Board
of Holier-Than-Thous,
I know how
to pray,
I will obey
My tithing I will pay.
I believe that I'm
superior
than other Heathens;
I'll do what I'm told,
The iron Prod I'll
hold,
Oh sh**, I'm late for a meeting.........
- 05/23/2002 - Bach of the Recovery Bulletin Board
"She Blinded Me...with GARMENTS"
- 03/13/2002 - anon
The Danite Generation - Mormonism Going Mainstream
Bane of the Blood Oath
Spandex Endowment Garments
Root Beer Bonging
Returned (Outta Hell) Missionary
Dear John Postal
Virgin TithingsRising Rock Stars and Bands
Sisters of Relief
Nephi's Brother
Listen to Nehor
Nine Inch Sure Sign of the Nails
Allan Parsons Prophet
Lie in the Sky (A tribute to Conference
via satellite)
Time...and Eternity
OldMoBabble
Dont Answer Me (or my exit letter)
Games Prophets Play
You Dont Believe?
The Rolling Seer-Stones
"Miss You...at Sacrament Meeting"
The BYU Transfer
Hinckley & Oakes
"Packers Eyes" (Are Watching YOU)
"Say It Isn't Doctrinal" - anon
The Bish Boys - "Good Recommendations" - new album hits charts
Mo-Mo-Mo; Mo-Molly-Ann
Molly-Ann
She's Got A Plan
Molly Ann
She maybe rockin and a reelin
But its for "G"s she is a feelin
Mo-Mo-Mo; Mo-Molly-Ann
Lookin for a guy
Saw an RM
And she KNEW that it was him!
How about "Bitter Bitter, that's how you sound, the principles never changed, just the men on the ground."
Emma, Oh Emma!
If I were near you, I would pass gas.
You, as a man, are the whole of my fears.
That I fell for your crap gives me such a cold chill.
Danites damn you from the grave, if you know what I mean.
Did you really wear them drawers?
Did you stink up a storm?
Did you broom-beat Joe's whores?
Was it worth it?
Was it worth it?
I Used To Be Mormon
and I spent all me money on tithes 'n off'rings.
But now I'm returning with knowledge and more,
and I swear I will play the good Mormon no more.
will I play the good Mormon, no never, no more.
and I told the good bishop me money was spent.
And I asked him for a credit, and he answered me nay,
saying customers like apostates I can get any day.
will I play the good Mormon, no never, no more.
and I told the ole bishop he may leave me alone.
Let's all have a big party, with liquor and all,
with our lovely apostates wherever they are.
will I play the good Mormon, no never, no more.
"You've Lost That Lemming Feeling"
"Unchained Theology"
08/12/2000 - SaorStat@LasVegas.com
"Abra-cadabra, I saw a white salamanda..."
SaorStat@LasVegas.com 07/30/2000
"Do You Really Want To Baptize Me"
"The Tithing Game"
"Church of The Inventive Mind"
From the "Prostelyzing To Be Clever" CD
07/10/2000 - SaorStat@LasVegas.com
Templeatles
In My (LDS) Life
Joseph Smith, Paperback Writer
Elder O'Rigby
Imagine (I Did!-JS)
Help!
Lucy In Salt Lake, At Conference
Can't Tithe Me Love
Latter-Day Tripper
Provo Man - From the "Rubber Banknote" CD
-07/08/2000 - BrighamSmith
"Joseph Smith, Superstar; Who in the hell do you think
you are!"
Depress Mode: "IM-personal Jesus"
My favorite went like this: One sacrament meeting when I was a priest, the other priest at the sacrament table with me, leaned over and whispered conspiratorily: "Did you know that if you take the name of any hymm in the book, and add the words "IN THE BATHTUB" to it, it will take on a whole new meaning?
The Mormy Blues
Latter-Day Afternoon
I'm Just A Prophet (In an ongoing con)
From the "Every Good Boy Deserves A Calling" CD
The Rolling Seer-Stones
"Deseret Women" (...give me the Deseret blues)
Alternative: (give me the Latter-Day Blues)
"Devotional Rescue"
"Miss You...at Sacrament Meeting"
The "Y" Magic Mini-Bus
"10% every day, just to prove I'm worth-y"
(Blah, Blah, Oh Really)
Hyrum Seeger & The Golden Plate Band
"(Give Me) That Old Time Principle"
The Temple-Tations
"It Was Just My Imagination"
Kneel Sedaka:
"Getting Out Is Hard To Do"
SUBURBAN MAC:
"As Long as You Follow"
"Prop Me Up"
(Previously unreleased single with then- lead vocalist Ezra T. Benson)
"Under My Thumb" featuring back-up vocals of Boyd K Packer.
<03/26/2000 - Brigham Smith
Gordon & The Apologists:
"Dont Know Much About History"
From the "Live at Mountain Meadows" CD
THE LARRY MILLER BAND - "Fly Like A Seagull"
Rolling Seer-Stones
Sympathy for the Prophet
"Pleased to meet you. Hope you guess my TEMPLE name..."
Out! (to the tune of "Shout")
Boot 'em all out!
Intellectuals we can do without.
Be Gone! We'll be praying for you. Be Gone!
why dont you just accept its true.
In latter times,
you think that we would lie to you?
Why dont you just get...
Kick 'em all out
Pay, Pray, and Obey or you're not devout.
So long! Were talkin' to you. So Long.
(fadeout)
I guess that...pigs fly!
"Nobody Loves Me But My Bishop And He
Could Be Jivin' Too"
" I'm a (TRUE) Believer.
...I really believe it
I couldnt leave it
Despite all the lies...
The Testi-MONKEES
Happy Valley Sunday, by The Testa-Monkees
"Losing My Religion" by XRM
I'm Dreaming of a Fair and Delightsome Christmas
God Rest Ye Merry Priesthood Holders
We Wish You A Merry Smithmas and a Happy New Child
O Little Town of Zarahemla
While Ammon Watched His Flocks By Night
Silent Night, Violent Night (not sung since Blood Atonement was stopped)
Another ring for Tina adds no strife
No need for Erica to be on the side
Cause I got 'em a triple-wide.
Marie has to share me but thinks it fun
And Bonnie too has risen to the test.
Cant wait for Sunday, I need the rest!
So tonight I'm going to conference like its 1999!
Lying for the Lord,
Keep your fingers crossed cause...
Were lying for the Lord
Lying for the Lord,
Give 'em milk not meat when...
You're lying for the Lord
Lying for the Lord!
Lying for the Lord!
In the end they'll understand
Why you're lying for the Lord!