James E Faust

The quiet nice errand boy of the The Lord

Faust is first and foremost a lawyer. A rather old and worn out one. He has been GBH's legal council for many years. What did you expect, a cult leader? Charisma and warm feelings? Fireworks? The personal encounters recorded here sound pretty typical for a lawyer, for a counciler in the leadership of a world-wide Corporation of Joseph Smith (& Successors) of Blabber-Day Ain'ts. - 09/14/2001 - anon

Disjointed, Boring, Senile

07/16/2001 - anon

Growing up in an Eastern ward, I had very little exposure to general authorities and thought it was a great day if a seventy showed up to stake conference. When I was about 15 or 16, I found out that Faust was to be speaking at our next stake conference. Being a zealous and firm believer and follower of the apostle cult, I was really excited that he would be coming. The other talks in conference were fairly good, as I remember, and seemed to be building up to a crescendo with Faust. Faust had the last half hour or so of the meeting to himself, and began to speak. he proceeded to give the most disjointed, boring, senile, and worthless talk I had ever heard. After the talk was over, I couldn't recall one valuable thing I had heard, and my notesheet (yes, I was one of those True Believing Mormons who soaked up every piece of drivel) was disappointingly blank.

Afterwards, I went up to shake his hand. I still thought it would be a great experience since he was my first apostle, and that he would smile and my bosoom would burn with a knowing assurance of his calling. Instead, it was a mechanical, heartless event. And it was exactly like that with every other apostle I've shaken hands with. Not that I blame them, having to shake as many hands as they do.

Loyal Family Man

05/26/2001 - Roger L of the recovery bulletin board

Faust's daugter was in my ward for a couple of years, and her husband was the bishop. Foust was at the ward every single time one of his grandkids was blessed, confirmed, or ordained. He addressed our ward on an anual basis. It was always disapointing though, because he obviously didn't prepare this most minor talk of his, and didn't have anything profound to say either. He was stuffy and formal and sober, but nice enough. He was always there for his family--something that can't be said about Packer.

Add your non faith promoting story about James E Faust in the box below and then click submit button. Or email them to Latter Day Lampoon.

Email Address or handle (leave blank to remain anonymous)

Latter-Day Lampoon material is mostly public domain. Check out rights and use information.