Correspondence with Mormon Leaders and LDS Church Headquarters

Several months ago my ex-wife, whom I divorced in 1996, was finally seeking a temple sealing cancellation so she could be sealed to her current husband whom she married in 1998. I received the obligatory letter from her bishop, asking for my input as her former spouse. I replied generically that I only wished them the best, and had nothing to say.

At that point, I thought my dealings with this issue were over. If she got her cancellation and could marry again in the temple, that was her business, and I had no interest in whether it actually happened or not.

To my surprise, I received a letter this week from a member of the Quorum of the Seventy, advising me that the sealing cancellation went through. The letter stated:

Dear Brother [name]:

The First Presidency has asked me to inform you that as of the date of this letter they have canceled the sealing performed in the Boise Idaho Temple on [date], between you and your former spouse, [her name]. They carefully reviewed all communications received from the involved parties and from priesthood leaders before reaching this decision.

Children born in the covenant or sealed to parents are assured the right and privilege of eternal parentage based upon their individual faithfulness and agency. If such children remain worthy, these birthright blessings remain secure in the event that the sealing of their parents as husband and wife is canceled. For each of us, the realization of eternal blessings is conditioned upon personal worthiness and individual agency. Such blessings, including our eternal family relationships, will be determined by our wise and loving Father after we have completed our mortal probation.

The First Presidency also wishes me to express their concern for your well-being and their desire that the blessings of the Lord will be with you at all times.

Sincerely,

Kenneth Johnson
Quorum of the Seventy

Cc: President [my local stake president]

________________________________________

I have a partner who is a former stake president, and I showed him the letter, and asked him if this was standard. He said this was the first letter like this he's ever seen. I asked him if the church had received so many inquiries about the status of children after a temple sealing cancelation, that they decided to do this form letter. He said that was his guess of why they would send this letter as well.

Some other thoughts I have on this:

1. The "cc" to my local stake president was a surprise. I moved into the house I'm at now living at after I resigned from the church. So, my records shouldn't have followed me. Also, I don't really want to be on the radar of the local leadership. The only reason I even knew that he's my local stake president (I originally assumed that the "cc" was to the president of the Quorum of the Seventy, not to my local stake president), was my partner who was a stake president told me that the person cc'ed was his replacement as stake president.

2. I really do hate being called "Brother".

3. My wife thinks the whole purpose of this letter is to try one more guilt trip about families being together forever, and to try and get me back to church. Maybe, but luckily, I quit feeling guilt about church issues 7 years ago.

4. I obviously call bullsh*t on the claim that the First Presidency reviewed the application for the sealing cancelation, and that the First Presidency wanted Mr. Johnson to express their concern for me.

5. The arguments you could make about the absurdity of the sealings/birthright blessings/etc are pretty easy. Their answer is always "the Lord will work it all out." For example, if for some F'ed up reason the church is actually true, and I stayed faithful, and my ex-wife stayed faithful, and the kids we had together stayed faithful, who would get custody of the kids in heaven? And, why would it matter, since our kids would have their own spouses and worlds to create? Or, what if you are the only faithful member in your entire family, who would your spiritual parents be? Are your parents in neighboring universes which you can visit? In each of our worlds that we create, do we get to pick our favorite child that we can kill on a cross? Or, can we think of our own torture implement to use? (Okay, I went off on a tangent there).

6. Mostly, I think I'll just have a beer to celebrate that an imaginary "sealing" to my crazy ex-wife has been canceled.

Attached is correspondence I had earlier this year with L Tom Perry regarding TSCC's imposition of a one year waiting penalty for couples who marry civilly before they can be sealed in the temple - even though they are otherwise "temple worthy". His reponse is demonstrates the attitude church leaders (and many church members) have regarding this issue. They are aware of the hurt their policy causes....and they don't care. The "church is true" and therefore cannot do anything hurtful or wrong. We non-Mormons who are upset by this exclusionary policy simply don't understand or are being selfish and narrow minded. You'll notice that his reponse completely ignores my specific statement that I was not asking that non-Mormons be allowed in the temple, simply that they do away with the penalty period and encourage couples to plan an inclusive ceremony with everyone who loves them present - regardless of religious belief or affiliation. Feel free to post them on your site, but I ask that my identifying information be deleted. Submitted 12/30/2009 Click image to see letters.

I got one very much like this (The Kenneth Johnson to IDTortfeasor) only it denied a request.

Actually, the letter was to the PH holder exH, who was to share it with me. This was during the SWK (Spencer W Kimball) years. The wording is almost exactly the same regarding the children, the worthiness, and the mortal probation. I was excommunicated several years before. Jointly, my exH and I requesting so he could be sealed to Wife #2.

When SWK refused to cancel, she dumped exH because of her aversion to polygamy. Being second wife was not her eternal goal. She also wrote a letter regarding the exH and her, and her wish to have his sealing canceled.

Mormon leadership ruins many relationships with the crazy cult aspect of eternal polygamy. If the children, even adult children are Mormon...they suffer with the knowledge they are in one messed up family. (Well, if you think of it according to the Mo-model of marriage).

I wonder if the letters were more common in the past, and perhaps are being reinstated as the norm??

Goofiness knows no limit! Silly cult. - 02/04/2010 - by wings

When my parents got a Catholic annulment I was 16. My dad was the one requesting it and I lived with him at the time. The local archdiocese gave my dad a "packet" with instructions to talk to all of us kids individually. He approached me very timidly and sputter some words and shoved the packet at me and asked that I read it.

I don't remember most of what was said, but I do remember this. "Although after the annulment it will be as though your parents were never married, you are not considered a bastard in the eyes of the church."

I laughed so hard that the word bastard was in a letter from the Catholic church. I'd never even come close to thinking anything about being a bastard. It is still funny to me to this day. - 02/04/2010 - bingoe4