Mararlyn1 - Ex-Mormon

Posted 10/16/2003

Maralyn1 - officially resigned 1989

My second husband and I were married in the Oakland temple in 1974. My first Mormon husband could not stop drinking or smoking for the 22 years and three daughters together with him.

When I wrote the letter to remove us from the membership they immediately wrote back saying my husband must write the letter. He did of course, but this made me even more determined. We had a visit from the Stake President and Ward Bishop requesting a hearing. We refused and they did not contact us again. I was surprised they did not pursue it further.

My husband and I have been married for 31 years and he joined because he thought it would be good for my youngest daughter who lived with us as a child. My older girls have not been active, nor my ex husband but have not removed their names.

We became totally inactive in 1975 because the bishop refused to allow my daughter to go on a youth trip to the SLC temple. He said she has not attended enough sacrament meetings. I challenged him and he threatened me with dis fellowship to be followed by excommunication. My husband felt curious about the whole Mormon temple cirus etc.

When we were going through the ceremony I started to refuse. He smiled at me and shrugged at the promises, it was not a good time for me to make a scene so I did not rebel further at the wording.

There were many things in the temple I did not feel good about accepting. I had held many responsible positions, RS, primary Pres, youth teacher, etc. and did not realize how brain washed I really was. My step mother forced me to join when my father became active because of her. They had come to take me from Canada and my grandparents who raised me from two weeks old when my mother died. I sobbed and begged not to be taken and fought the Mormon membership all the years and was considered a problem by leaders.

I was told over and over "not to question the authorities. I continued to do that and pointed that out when my second husband said, no big deal to join. I tried to explain and he found out soon eough it was not for him either. My bishop father sexually abused me and there was no one to even tell. When as adult after therapy I told my bishop he also knew my father, said, "It is over, best not be mentioned." Big help he was. However that was early on for support of victims.

My story of abuse is on the internet and written in detail by the Exponent magazine now getting back into print. The Exponent was stopped for a while and is no back in circulation. They are not publishing negatives now of course since the changes of their editor. At least my story was told.

If there is any victim or help I may offer to anyone who has experienced Mormon member sexual abuse, please contact me email at

I am a 4th generation Mormon on my father's side, the Hatch name. He had 5 wives and 30 known children when I did my own research that was not supplied by family for many years. His last child was born when he was 72 and that wife was 15 when he was 57 and married her. I am in the process of writing a book about my experiences as a Mormon and thank you God my husband and youngest daughter supported me in leaving.

I am grateful to be out. It still has a certain draw when I pass the ward near where we live, the cult control mentality may never leave me. The contact and constant visitation is something good they do for members, but not worth the tithes and control. That is more proof of the leadership making personal and private life decisions for members.

We will never return even if they can bring us up on the computer and offer re- baptism. I do not believe we are ever off their membership roles forever. They declare they can find us if we have ever been members and bring us back. Scary!

Just like my father never acknowledged he did anything wrong, he told me as adult that I have never seemed to be a child to him. Nice thing to say after the sexual abuse. When I finally told my step mother years after his early death she said she was not surprised! She would have helped me, then she proceeded to visit all family members and told them I had lied. Proof to me of her actions tell she would not have helped me, but only accused me of being the problem.

More attention and results are available now for victims, as in the Adams case in W. VA. My son in law helped prosecute that case to closure. It is on the internet, a $750 thousand dollar suit. Hinckley complains about the court costs, he has no idea how many and how serious the problem of child sexual abuse and spousal abuse within the church to this moment.

I had to deal with spousal abuse of women as RS counseler and in other positions held by me. It was horrifying to see nothing being done. More action is needed to stop continued abuse and stop covering up priesthood members who abuse women and children. My prayers and blessings to anyone who has suffered at the leadership of the Mormon church. Now they claim to be a Jesus church, indeed, sure asked about that as a young child who was taught by my beloved grandparents. I was always told not to question, fine thing to tell a child or adult as they continue to advise anyone who challenges them about their cult.

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